Providence
by Isecretlyliketwilight
Summary: A canon post Breaking Dawn story about Renesmee maturing, and the turmoil that ensues when Jacob finally sees her as a "woman"... HIS woman.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.

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PROVIDENCE

providence

noun

1 a life mapped out by providence: fate, destiny, nemesis, kismet, God's will, divine intervention, predestination, predetermination, the stars; one's lot (in life); archaic one's portion.

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PROLOGUE:

Renesmee POV

Have you ever felt like one day changed your entire life?

Well, maybe not one day, but one moment? One moment that shifted the shape of everything you knew to be true?

I know these kinds of things can happen; my family, and their story is a prime example. My mom and dad—they had that one moment that changed everything for both of them...changed everything for everyone.

And that's why my world isn't like other people's—why my family isn't like other people's. For one thing, my parents are vampires.

My father has been one for over a century, but my mother is a fairly "young" vampire. Her turning process was started the moment I was torn out of her by my father's teeth, actually. She would have died, otherwise, which meant that she was human when she had me, and that's why I'm not like my parents or anyone else in the family. That's why I'm what they call a "hybrid." Half human, half vampire.

But that doesn't mean my life hasn't been perfect. It has been—well, as perfect as it can be for being part of the largest coven of vampires in existence outside the leaders of our kind: the Volturi. We're not exactly on their Christmas card list, if you know what I mean.

Overall, I felt loved and adored and innocent, the way every girl should feel at my age... but then all too soon, my world was turned upside down. I went from a blissfully innocent kid one week, to a (seemingly) betrothed, full-fledged woman the next.

Call it what you want, destiny, fate, predestination—I call it providence. A life mapped out by providence. This wasn't something I had planned, or even really wanted. That's how life works though. The best things in life, are the ones that God already has planned for you. The ones that change your life so permanently, all in one moment.

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A/N

A MILLION THANKS TO MY AMAZING "PROJECT TEAM BETA" BETAS!

Phase 1: Jenrosee & CapriciousC- Holy crap, I never realized how many ellipses I use! You guys were a HUGE help! Because of you two, I decided I needed to go back and re-work things a bit to keep a canon timeline.

Phase 2: ElleCC & Lupin4Tonks- Your help with the prologue was so needed! I appreciated all of your thoughtful suggestions, and you'll notice, I used most of them. :)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!


	2. Preparations

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.

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CHAPTER 1: PREPARATIONS

"I'm thinking pink! Lots and lots of it!"

I tried to seem enthused.

"Pink flowers, pink cake, pink streamers… oh, and I've already ordered you the most gorgeous pink Oscar de la Renta party dress!" Aunt Alice was in total party mode. She couldn't help it. Once Aunt A got on a roll, there really was no stopping her. My mom used to try, but I was pretty sure she had given up by that point. I didn't want to hurt her feelings… She loved planning my birthday parties.

Last year, for my fifth birthday, she did a Parisian theme. It was so ostentatious, but I have to say—Aunt A knew how to throw a great party. We (Jacob, the pack, and me) ate crepes, while everyone else scrunched up their noses in horror at the smell, and Alice re-created part of the Champs-Élysées in our living room. The night ended with an envelope from Grandma and Grandpa with two airline tickets to Paris.

I took Aunt Rose. I would have rather gone with my mom or Aunt Alice, but I knew how much it would mean to Aunt Rose for me to take her. It was an amazing trip; it would have been better if my dad hadn't called what seemed like every hour to check up on us. We ignored most of his calls since technically he already knew what we were doing. Aunt A had given us a play-by-play of our entire trip on our way to the airport. Poor Aunt Rose was so annoyed; she had really wanted to surprise me with all the things she had planned for us in Paris.

I wanted this year to be more casual though. I had made it clear to Aunt A weeks ago that I wanted to just have a small family thing. No Denalis, no Romanians, just our family and Jacob. I had become even more inseparable from Jacob this year. He'd always been my best friend, but lately, I couldn't seem to go one day without wanting to see him or talk to him. He seemed to feel the same way, which was odd because I always felt like I was keeping him away from the pack—his main responsibility. He was the best friend anyone could ever ask for. He always seemed to know just what I needed, right when I needed it.

"I thought we were going to reel it in a bit this year?" I asked with more annoyance in my voice that I meant to display.

"Nessie, you are growing so fast; you're practically a lady! You wouldn't want to rob the family of celebrating such a momentous occasion as your birth, would you?" Alice knew guilt always worked on me.

"Just the family then? No 'extended family'?" I used air quotes to get my point across.

"The party girl gets what the party girl wants." She dramatically rolled her eyes and pulled out a guest list, reading the names as curtly as possible. "Your parents, grandparents, your Aunt Rose and Uncle Em, me and Uncle Jazz, and of course you and Jake. That's it. Happy, princess?" Even when she was being sarcastic, I couldn't help but adore her.

My family always paired Jake and me as if we were a couple. We were best friends, yes, but it always made me feel uncomfortable when they implied that there was more. Even _if_ I'd secretly had a crush on him for years, I was certain that he didn't feel the same. He was always so polite and never made any sort of gesture toward me. I had always wondered if he was still in love with my mom. Years ago, I had overheard Aunt Alice and my mom recount her and Jake's history, and it had honestly made me feel sick every time I had thought about it since.

"Thanks, Aunt Alice. I just want to celebrate more intimately this year. Last year I was too busy playing hostess to really enjoy the family."

"Well, you have learned to work a room from the best!" She grinned and winked at me.

"Oh yeah, I'm a regular socialite." I groaned.

"Someday you'll appreciate all of my hard work on your social training, little miss!" Her smile was infectious. No words could adequately describe the way I loved my little fairy god-motherly aunt. I gave her a hug and left her to her planning. I knew she loved me enough to take my guest list requirement seriously, so I left her to her planning frenzy.

My piano had been calling my name all morning. My beautiful Fazioli grand piano was one in a custom twin set made exclusively by the factory in Italy for my father and me. We placed them "head to head," or dueling piano style as Uncle Em liked to call it. One of our favorite pastimes since we moved to the barren Prince Rupert was playing duets. My father and I spent hours composing complicated duets with opulent arpeggios to keep us entertained.

When we had decided to move to Prince Rupert, it had seemed like the perfect spot for us; the rainiest city in Canada... and only a half a day's drive (or a five hour run) to La Push. Aunt Alice had protested the most. Phrases like "po-dunk" and "K-Mart couture" had been uttered. But there was no K-Mart. Not that any of us would have stepped foot in one; there was literally nowhere to shop. A local store called Zeller's became the family joke. I think Alice would have actually preferred K-Mart over the atrocity that was Zeller's.

I was home-schooled in Prince Rupert by a world class teaching staff: My father, the math genius and musical prodigy, instructed me on his respective expertise; Uncle Jasper was the History and "art of war" instructor; Mom taught literature; Uncle Emmett, surprisingly, taught economics and political science (he was smarter than people gave him credit for), and Grandpa taught science. I had probably studied enough biology and anatomy with Grandpa to hold PhDs in the in both the disciplines. I had other teachers too. Aunt Alice was my "social graces and event planning" instructor, Grandma taught home economics and architecture, and Aunt Rose taught auto shop. I was well educated to say the least.

I had a nocturne composition piece that I had to finish, so I retrieved my tuning kit and began to expertly tune my instrument by ear, as my father had taught me. Our vampiric ears were so sensitive it made the tuning process almost enjoyable. Just as I was making my last tweaks on the tiny pegs underneath the burl wood piano lid, my phone rang. I knew by the "Hungry Like the Wolf" ringtone that it was Jake. He thought he'd been so clever when he'd made that ring tone.

"Hi, Jake!"

"Hey, Nessie. How's Canada?" His voice was deep and warm, just like his eyes.

I laughed. "Same as it was when you left two days ago: cold and boring. How's the pack? I'm sure Seth is glad you're back." Jake tried to split his time evenly between his commitments with the pack in La Push, and his ties to my family that now lived in Prince Rupert, British Colombia. It was only a five-hour run.

"Seth's a big boy; he can handle himself. Any plans for today?"

"Not really. I was going to work on a new composition my dad is encouraging me to write, and practice a piece he and I just picked up from that new music store I told you about, but other than that, no plans. What'd you have in mind?"

"Oh yeah, the store where Edward almost tore those guys' heads off?" Jake always made jokes about my dad's predisposition to be overprotective. "I thought maybe you'd want to come down to the res for the day. Sam and Emily are having a bonfire tonight, and I thought you'd like to be there."

"Sounds great, but it's already 11:30. By the time you get up here to bring me down, won't it be kinda late?"

A knock at the front door interrupted our conversation. "Hold on, Jake."

When I got over to the entryway, I could smell him. I squealed in delight, dropped the phone, and opened the door to pounce on him. He spun me around and placed my feet gently back to the ground.

"Your escort has arrived, m'lady," he teased in his best British accent. My dad had made it clear that he was fine with me going back to La Push as often as I liked, but no going alone, and no overnight visits without prior confirmation from Billy that I was sleeping in Jake's room, and he was sleeping at the Clearwaters', or really anywhere besides Jake's house. He wouldn't let us sleep in the same house—even if we were in different rooms. He was so overprotective sometimes.

"So should I assume you've already talked to my mom and dad about it?"

"Yeah, they want you back by noon tomorrow. The bonfire will end too late to bring you home at a decent time tonight."

"Great! Let me just grab my overnight bag, and we'll hit the road!" I told him.

He hurdled over the back of the sofa and sat down to wait for me. I was so excited to be spending so much time with Jake. I quickly slapped a coat of mascara on and attempted to tame my hair, but I was in a hurry to get down to the reservation. I grabbed an outfit and my makeup bag to toss into my backpack for in the morning, and in less than five minutes, I was ready to go.

"Can you not make the run a competition this time? I'd rather save my energy for roasting s'mores." I swore I saw a twinkle in his eye.

"No promises," I said honestly.

As soon as we were running at a decent clip, he jumped, yelled, "I lied," and phased on the fly. It startled me for a moment, but then I realized what he meant. That little cheater! We _were_ racing! I immediately picked up the pace and willed my legs to speed up even more. Soon, I was just on his tail, but he was fast. The competitor in me took over and focused solely on the run. It was freeing. My mind was able to completely shut down all extemporaneous thoughts and fully focus on the position of the trees whizzing by me, the terrain under my feet, and the pull from somewhere inside me to not let Jake out of my sight. Hours went by quickly as I chased my Wolf Jake through British Colombia. Every so often he'd howl, just to egg me on. As soon as we reached the U.S. border, we slowed down and I accepted defeat. It was then that I recalled the "pull" emanating from him, that I'd focused on during the run... or was it deriving from me? My mind started racing at a speed that would rival my father's. What _was_ that? I buried the thought as we reached La Push. I wanted to enjoy my time with the Quileutes—not think about what the heck _that_ was, and why it was so darn automatic.

We were met at the border of the reservation by Leah, Seth, Quil and Embry in their wolf forms. I always felt a little honored that they allowed me to see them so often as wolves. They were so beautiful. Out of the four wolves in Jacob's pack, I especially loved Leah's ashen coat. It reminded me of the mysteriously beautiful overcast sky at First Beach. It was the kind of gray that felt more calming than "dreary" and more intense than "murky," as most people would think of my sun-starved beach scene. Too bad like my mom, I still didn't think she liked me. I felt a huge wet nose nuzzle my side. It was Quil. It was his way of asking for the "wolf massage" as they called it. Just like dogs, they went nuts for being scratched behind the ear. I reached up and ran my fingers through his course fur and scratched his head. A low thunderous rumble, almost like a purr, emanated from his chest. His large, black eyes squinted, his mouth dropped open, and his huge slobbery tongue cascaded out the side of his mouth. They all started nuzzling me, asking for their own "wolf massage," but with a short huff from my wolf, they quickly turned back to Jake in acknowledgement of his Alpha status and stood at attention. I hated that I couldn't hear what they were talking about. My father's ability could have come in really handy. It was as if I was in a foreign country with no translator at times like these. Had I done something wrong? Jake almost seemed jealous. The Alpha came up beside me as if he was claiming me for himself. "Mine" or "Back off," he seemed to be saying to his underlings. I leaned against his immense shoulder and patted his side in an attempt to let him know that indeed he was my favorite. _My_ wolf.

Jacob gracefully lowered his body and motioned at me to climb on his back. As I took two fistfuls of cognac-colored fur and swung my leg over his back, I wanted to yell out "giddy-up!" but refrained. They didn't exactly catch on to my sense of humor when I had said it a few months ago, and Jake didn't really seem in the mood to joke in front of the others. Every now and then, Jake felt as though he had to reinforce his Alpha status. Maybe because they had all been friends before pack members, but sometimes they forgot to give Jake the respect that he deserved as their Alpha. After all... they chose him. He didn't want a pack, but if he was going to be their leader under duress, he was going to do it right. Letting a human (or hybrid, in my case) ride on their back was a momentous sign of respect and affection—not exactly the gesture you want to make jokes about. As I settled into a comfortable position on the back of my noble steed and re-gripped, he and the others galloped off into the forest. I put my head down on his broad shoulders to rest. I was tired from our run. I hated this about my hybrid body. No one else in my family ever got tired or needed to sleep, for that matter. I did.

As they slowed to a stop when they entered the vicinity of Sam and Emily's house, I sat up a bit groggy.

"Sorry I fell asleep, Jake. I guess the run wore me out," I told him as I slunk off his back to stand and stretch. He turned his back to me and covered my eyes with his tail as I heard, one by one, each member of the pack phase back into his or her human form and throw on sweatpants, and in Leah's case, a tank top.

"Let's go inside, Ness. Jake will be right behind us," Leah said as she took me by the arm.

"I don't know what his problem is. He knows I'll close my eyes," I said with an annoyed tone directed at him.

"He's always been super modest in front of you. It's just a respect thing. He's just trying to treat you right. You should be more appreciative of how much effort he puts in to you." Leah was always hard on me.

Emily had been baking. The house smelled of cinnamon, brown sugar, and butter.

"What is that smell? If you ever get bored of Sam, I'll marry you, Emily!" Seth joked.

"I made monkey bread. It's my mom's recipe. Boys, please let Nessie get some first before you devour it. You mongrels never leave anything." Except for a wink in his direction, she ignored Seth's innocent marriage proposal.

I took a plate and plopped a small amount onto my plate. As good as this smelled, I still preferred blood, but little balls of dough covered in a buttery cinnamon and sugar mixture would make my mouth water any day. Jake sidled up to me at the table and gave me a big smile. Handsome. Plain and simple. He had a face that would make any girl my (hybrid) age swoon. He took a large portion of food and passed on the platter to Leah, who sat to his right.

"Thanks for having us over, Emily. We really don't do this often enough anymore." Jake was the consummate politician now that there were two packs and two Alphas. He was always making sure that the two packs kept up good relations, and he saw himself as the ambassador to the rest of the Quileutes in representation of both packs since he had the "chief's blood."

"Sam is glad you guys are here tonight. He agrees that it's been too long since we were all together. It almost seems like old times having Nessie here." She turned to look at me. "Your mother really livened up the place. She changed us all for the better; I hope you know that, honey. We all love her very much. I wish she would come by. The treaty doesn't apply to her; she should know that." Emily was always so encouraging of my involvement on the reservation. It was nice to have a human ally here.

"Thanks, Emily. I'm sure she knows, but I'll make sure. I think she's just afraid you guys won't like her anymore... you know, being mortal enemies and all," I added with a smile. Mortal enemies maybe, but we were immortal, and both sides had long since gotten over any animosity while teaming up in multiple battles against a common threat. Lines had been drawn, and they were usually drawn with my wolves and my family on the same side. Usually.

After the boys finished their snack, I helped Emily with the dishes while everyone else went outside to start a game of full contact football.

"How are things going, Ness?"

"Fine, I guess. My birthday is in two days, so things are kinda crazy at home. Other than that, pretty normal."

"We've all been really looking forward to your birthday. You're growing up, little lady! We're all very proud of the woman you've become." Emily was always so sweet to me.

"I don't feel like much of a woman yet, but thanks."

"Sometimes stuff like that just kinda sneaks up on you. One day you'll feel like a kid, and the next, an adult. At least that's how it was for me. I think Jake feels the same way. He's been spending a lot of time with Sam recently. Sam has really been mentoring Jake in how to handle becoming a man."

"What do you mean? He's only a few years younger than my mom!"

"Well, technically yes, but he isn't aging. He quit aging when he started phasing. If he ever stops phasing, the aging process will start again—though I'm not sure Jake would ever want that. I'm pretty sure he plans on phasing to wolf form every so often for a very long time to retain his youth." She looked at me with a small smile.

"We've never talked about that." I kept scrubbing the same dish way longer than I needed to. I was realizing there was a lot that we hadn't discussed.

"He's really kept you in the dark hasn't he?"

"On what? The laws of wolfdom?" I joked.

"S—something like that."

I felt like she wanted to say more but didn't. It was almost as though she was about to let me in on something, but then, she decided against it.

"I'm just really excited to see the next chapter of your life unfold. You are luckier than you know, pale one." She gave me a little side-hug as I finished drying the last plate.

"Let's go watch the madness," she said to me as we put the dishes away and headed outside to watch the game.

"Heads up!" Embry yelled as the ball came hurdling right at my face. I caught the ball with my vampiric reflexes and expertly threw it in a perfect spiral back to Jacob (who was at least twenty yards away), just as Uncle Emmett had taught me. My mother might have been bad at sports, but I loved them. Ever since I was old enough to walk, Uncle Emmett had been tirelessly teaching me to play one sport or another.

"Nice arm!" Leah said in surprise.

"It's a vampire thing," I joked back to her with a wink.

The game stopped as Sam finally arrived, followed by Paul, Jared, Collin and Brady.

"Sorry we're late." Sam walked over to Emily, put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her. My heart sank. They were so cute. He—the big tough Alpha—was reduced to putty in her presence. The image was powerful. He turned to look at me.

"It is so great to see you here, Renesmee. Welcome," he said as he hugged me and kissed the top of my head. "Our Jake here tends to keep you all to himself. We barely get to see you anymore!"

Jake came to my side and stuck out his hand to Sam.

"Brother," was all he said as he took Jacob's hand and embraced him in a "guy hug" with the other arm.

I hadn't noticed how close the two had gotten recently. Jake looked at Sam with respect and admiration, a look I'd only seen him give to my father and grandfather.

"As soon as Billy, Sue and Charlie get here, we'll start the barbecue," Sam said to Jake.

"Need help getting the bonfire going? It's starting to get dark," Jake asked.

"Go grab some more logs from behind the shed and bring them to the pit. Thanks, Jake," Sam replied.

"Life as a 'wolf wife' is just one meal after the next," Emily said with a sarcastic eye-roll to me. "Want to help me start skewering hotdogs and marshmallows?"

"I don't think that is 'wolf' exclusive," I retorted.

After taking apart dozens of wire hangers and pre-skewering them with hot dogs and marshmallows, we came back outside to see everyone sitting around the fire, including my Grandpa Charlie.

"Grandpa!" I squealed as I went running over to him.

"A little birdie told me you were going to be here. I've missed you," he told me as he nuzzled into my hair during our embrace. "Sue surprised me. She didn't tell me you were going to be here," he turned toward Sue and gave her a sarcastically surly look.

"I didn't even know I was going to be here until a few hours ago." I said, reassuring him that he wasn't being too kept out of the loop.

"That darn mother of yours keeps you too occupied; I don't see you enough! Happy early birthday, baby."

"Thanks, Grandpa! I was sad when I heard that you couldn't get off time from work to come to my party, but this is perfect! I'll get to spend more time with you tonight than I would have at my party." I hugged him affectionately again. He smelled so good, just like a human grandpa should smell: a mixture of Old Spice, cedar, dirt, and night-crawlers. I guessed he'd gone fishing with Billy earlier today.

I sat at the bonfire between my grandfather and Jacob the whole night. They told stories of my mother and her foray into cliff diving, of the first time Jake phased in front of Grandpa, and the time when all the wolves came together to help my family fight against an army of newborns. I'd heard all of these stories before, but that wasn't the point. We loved reminiscing over the history of how our two kinds became friends instead of being stuck to their guns as mortal enemies. Throughout the night, Jacob kept me warm with a colorful blanket woven in a tribal design draped over us. I'm not sure at what point I fell asleep, but I think it was somewhere after my third marshmallow.

I half woke up when Jake carried me through the door of his bedroom and set me down on his bed. It smelled like him. I wanted to bottle the scent and carry it around my neck. As he pulled the covers up over me, I closed my eyes again and sighed in a relaxed tone. He kissed me on the forehead.

He stood for a minute, looking over me. "I love you, Nessie," he said, barely above a whisper as he brushed a curly tendril out of my face. We'd exchanged this sentiment for years, but in a brotherly/sisterly way. Was I taking this out of context, or did he say it more meaningfully than usual? With my eyes still closed, I reached my hand to him. "Oh, you're awake," he said as he set his face in my hand. I showed him that I loved him too. I showed him scenes from throughout my life when he'd been there for me. I especially focused these images on his eyes and smile. They were my favorite parts of him. The scene I shot him was my favorite. I painted the picture so clearly for him the time when I had lost my favorite necklace as a little girl on one of our runs. I was devastated and cried for days. Jake got the whole pack together to search the forest for my necklace. The next morning, I woke up and it was resting on my bedside table. Jake had even fixed the broken clasp. I showed him how special it made me feel that he had gone through all that for a silly little necklace. I dropped my hand back to the bed with a content smile on my face. Soon I sank deeper into the mattress, and drifted to sleep.

On our run back home the next morning, we joked, teased, and wrestled the whole way, acting as we had since I was born. I remembered yesterday's odd events with the pack when Jake got jealous, and when I swore he told me he loved me—in a different way—but now was not the time to bring it up. We were having way too much fun and I didn't want to ruin it. We got back to my house sooner than I had hoped. I guess we were running faster than I realized. He dropped me off safe and sound back at "Casa de Vamp" as he called it, and almost immediately headed back to La Push. He had plans with the pack today.

The rest of the day was a blur of studying, arguing with Aunt Alice over the size and scope of the party, and thinking about Jake.

I went to bed early. I knew the earlier I went to sleep, the earlier tomorrow would come... and that would mean seeing Jake again.

EPOV

Renesmee, my beautiful daughter, was growing up too fast. I knew her feelings for Jake were starting. I heard her dream about him the other night. Innocent still, but her infatuation with him was compounding daily. She was my (almost) six-year-old baby. I wasn't prepared for her to start a romantic relationship. If you asked me, she wasn't ready yet either. Sure, she had a crush. But children have crushes in kindergarten all the time—you don't expect them to marry that person. But I knew it was coming. I saw Alice's vision of their future months ago.

I'd been working with Alice on her ability practically since Nessie was born. Alice had been around both Nessie and Jacob almost daily for the past almost six years, she was having an easier time "seeing" them. She could see Nessie much clearer than Jacob, but we were working on it. It's like flexing a muscle. The same way Bella had to learn to shield others, and to de-shield herself from me.

This wasn't going to be an easy road, but the imprint would win out. That didn't mean that I was going to sit back and watch my daughter get taken away from me. No, not at all.

Note to self: Must teach her how to punch Jake's face better than her mother did.

Although that was a fun story for me to recount, I knew it upset Ness. The idea that Jake had loved her mother was a hard concept for her to accept. I didn't know how to make it any better for her since the truth really couldn't be sugar coated. Jake had loved my Bella. I knew, though, that now his love for Bella was purely a brotherly, platonic, yet everlasting love.

As much as Nessie tried to keep them from me, I knew all her secrets, insecurities, strengths and weaknesses. I knew that she didn't think she'd ever be as beautiful as Rosalie, I knew that she still had nightmares about the Volturi, and I knew her brilliant capabilities for the arts. Her composition skills in the past year had rivaled Mozart's. I didn't know if it was just fatherly bias, or whether it was the truth, but it was something we were going to have to deal with. How much could we let her talents be known? We could never let her be in the spotlight; to appease the Volturi, she'd always have to be kept as our private joy. Maybe she could write under pseudonyms, though her specific style would be easy to recognize throughout the ages under different names. My daughter was so amazing. She made my dead heart grow ten sizes bigger every day. She was my proof that I couldn't be damned. I had created a heavenly creature—a little angel so perfect that my heart broke every time I heard her speak. Her voice rang like a hand bell choir at Christmastime and her laugh could bring me to my knees in joy and wonderment. I had no idea what I did to deserve such happiness.

I worried about her all the time. I implored the use of my sister's abilities on an almost daily basis to make sure my decisions for my daughter would only lead to her happiness. Renesmee's satisfaction with life was my number one priority. Bella and I had done the impossible, and I would never forget the amazing gift that she had given me. A gift I didn't even know existed, and therefore had never really yearned for—but now that I had her—nothing could take her away from me. Not time, not space, and certainly not Jacob Black. Yes, they were going to be together, and he would do anything in his power to make her happy, but she was my daughter. Jake was going to have to play by my rules.

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A/N

A MILLION THANKS TO MY AMAZING "PROJECT TEAM BETA" BETAS!

Phase 1: Jenrosee & CapriciousC- Holy crap, I never realized how many ellipses I use! You guys were a HUGE help! Because of you two, I decided I needed to go back and re-work things a bit to keep a canon timeline.

Phase 2: ElleCC & Lupin4Tonks- Your help with the prologue was so needed! I appreciated all of your thoughtful suggestions, and you'll notice, I used most of them. :)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!


	3. Celebrations

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.

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CHAPTER 2: CELEBRATIONS

The morning of the party I woke up more excited than I had planned on. This might actually be fun.

Dad knocked on the door and peeked his head in.

"I heard you wake up. I'm glad to know you're actually looking forward to your party. Your aunt has had such a hard time keeping it small for tonight, but I really think you'll like it. She's kept everything as low key as she could." He always knew how to reassure me with that fatherly smile/wink combo.

"Want to go on a birthday hunt this morning? Mom wanted to make you bacon and eggs, but I thought you'd enjoy a little father-daughter hunting." He smiled crookedly.

"Actually, that sounds great, Dad! Can we make it an all-afternoon thing? I need a good run to clear my head."

He looked at me in acknowledgment—almost too much in acknowledgement. What did he know? I always felt like the last person to know anything in this family. My father always watched me like a hawk, ready to swoop in at any moment. It was sweet. He wanted to be there for me, but could be a bit overwhelming.

"We'll leave in ten," he said as he closed my bedroom door and went downstairs to wait for me.

I quickly pulled a brush through my increasingly long and curly tangles, finally gave up, and threw it into a pony tail. _Why was I so worried this morning about what I looked like? I was going hunting... not meeting the Queen of England!_ I changed into a pair of my mother's old sweats and with a final look in the mirror, headed downstairs into the chaos.

"Please hurry up and leave with your dad, so that you can get back here and I can groom you properly!" Aunt A said to me as she and Grandma iced a gigantic cake that was pretty much just for decoration... and Jake's ultimate consumption after all the pictures were taken. He learned this the hard way three years ago when he dug in right away before the pictures were taken. Aunt Alice was furious at Jacob for "ruining her documentation" as she called it.

It seemed no matter how much we had been assured, my family was still worried about the Volturi's eventual involvement in my life. They made sure to document every milestone to show that I was still in fact growing, and above all, controllable. I felt like I was being followed around by paparazzi during everything from birthdays to outgrowing shoes. They were a little over the top, but I knew better than to complain.

"Okay okay! We're leaving! But be forewarned, you'll have a lot to groom after I get back from hunting with Dad! We're planning on making a competition out of it, and you know how he hates to lose to me!" I said as I turned to look at my father who was casually leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face, trying to feign interest in the girly stuff.

"I've already prepared for the mess that I'll have to deal with when you get home, Nessie. Don't worry, you'll look beautiful; even if there isn't anyone coming who doesn't see you every day anyway." Her voice sounded like a chorus of bells.

I stuck my tongue out at her and sprinted out the door. I knew if I was going to beat him in a race that I'd have to play dirty. No 'ready, set, go,' I needed the millisecond head start. As we sprinted through the lush green forest, I heard my dad gaining on me. I became acutely aware of every sound. Every blade of grass had its own note in the symphony of the wind that my father and I were creating in the pine-entrenched forest. The clarinet was played by a small stream to the east. Faintly, the timpani sound of two beating mountain lion hearts could be heard just north of a turn in the stream. My hybrid ears picked up the sound a half second after my father's did, and in a split second, he had taken over the lead. Even though I loved to win, I reveled in watching my dad's strong and steady strides. He was so much more elegant than me. Maybe it had something to do with our difference in experience surpassing 100 years, but I didn't like to succumb, no matter how mature the creature. Wolf Jake always wanted to race me too... but at least with him, I could usually win. It seemed to please him when I displayed my immortal speed, he was fascinated by it.

At that moment, only for an instant, I wished that I was there with him, but I immediately changed the course of my thoughts for my father's sake. I knew it would hurt his feelings. He prided himself in the fact that we didn't have the typical father/daughter relationship. Of course it wasn't that I necessarily told him everything, he just knew. He heard every thought I'd practically ever had, which in some ways, was more of a relief than anyone could imagine. He never stopped being a "dad," but was always able to exquisitely balance the 'father' role with the 'mentor' role. He had once equated it to the relationship that he has with Grandpa Carlisle. He not only became a father figure to my dad... he was his mentor, his confidant, and his rock. My dad was all of those things to me. Though always the overprotective type, my dad was able to show me sides of him that, I dare to say, he had never allowed shown before. The closest thing anyone would ever see of his secret personality traits was when he sat on the old bench of the piano and placed his fingers expertly on the keys. He could make all 88 of them his slave, if only for a few minutes. I once equated his playing to Paul's Epistles. My father poured his soul out in his music the way Paul did in his letters to Christ's early followers. An analogy my father had abhorred.

My father's voice brought me back from my thoughts. "I'll take the male sleeping in the tree; you take the female in the clearing. She may seem more prone to attack, but she'll be deserving of a good chase... and you said you needed to run," he whispered so low that no mortal creature could hear.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and crouched to attack. I was faster than she, but I let her hear me coming. I wanted to give her a chance to run. Grandpa would say it was cruel to make an animal have fear be the last thing on their mind, as he preferred the quick and simple kill, but I was a hunter. The thrill of the chase made the non-human blood more appealing to me. She took off more quickly than I had anticipated. _Good girl,_ I thought. She dashed through the trees and through a small meadow of Queen Anne's Lace, my favorite wildflower, before I finally surrendered to my speed and blood lust. I was efficient. I leaped onto her back and cleanly ripped her throat to gain access to her savory gift. When she was drained, I gave thanks to her and to God, so her sacrifice was not taken for granted. This was a practice I had learned from my mother; she was adamant that we had souls, and as such, we needed to act like it. My mother and I had since kept the humble tradition of thanks giving alive.

"You make me so proud." I was jerked out of my thoughts as my father praised me. "You glide, leap, and bound like a prima ballerina when you hunt. It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen." He was glowing with pride. "You, my dear daughter, never cease to amaze me." He hugged me for longer than he usually did. My birthdays made him extra sentimental.

"Enough with the adulation, can we get back to business please?"

"You are your mother's daughter that is for sure. Some day you'll have to learn to accept a compliment gracefully. But if it's the hunt you want, I can facilitate that. Keep up, if you can," he teased me with a wink and took off running like only my father could.

We ran for over an hour. We were heading north. I was solely focusing on keeping up with him, for the cold would surely set in the moment I took my mind off my faster-than-a-bullet-train father. When he finally stopped, I almost ran into him like in a Looney Tunes cartoon.

I finally took notice of our surroundings. Snow. Miles and miles of glistening powdery snow. The scene reminded me of the White Witch's snowy kingdom of Narnia. C.S. Lewis had been one of the staples in my childhood. Our whole family loved his works. Uncle Jasper and I stayed up late one night debating how his writing would have been different if he had been immortal. I argued that it wouldn't have changed much at all. He argued that his point of view would have been astronomically different. I liked to believe that C.S. Lewis's faith (which is apparent in all of his writing) would have stood strong no matter what form his body was in. We called the debate a draw.

"Smell them?"

"What are they? We didn't come this far for penguins, did we?" I joked.

"You have yet to experience the might and will of a polar bear." He smirked at me. "I think you'll find them just as enjoyable as I do." He took my hand and all but sprinted with me hanging behind him like a kite.

"There are three of them. Two adults and a cub. Can you hear the difference?" he asked me as if I had never hunted before. Typical father behavior.

"I do believe I have been able to discern heartbeats for years now, Father." He shook his head with a small smile.

"Well then, Miss Cullen, after you!" He bowed and guided me with the direction of his hand in a gentlemanly manner as if he was from 1801 instead of 1901. This silly side of him was one of the many traits very few had ever seen.

I grandiosely rolled my eyes at him and took off in a sprint for the "papa bear." He was enormous—and mad. A magnificent combination. I lunged at him and tumbled onto the snow with the beast. He roared in protest as I all too quickly tore into his carotid artery. The flavor was sublime. His offering coated my throat and ended any last trace of burn. It warmed me in a way I hadn't expected. Maybe it was the sheer volume of the warm blood that now ran through me, but I wasn't nearly as cold as I had been twenty minutes ago in the arctic climate.

I watched my father finish his gluttonous meal and thought more about Jake. How proud he would have been of me if he could have seen me take down the giant polar bear. About how he once said that watching me hunt was like watching a lithe cheetah take down a gazelle on the Discovery Channel. I had countered that if anyone in this situation was the animal, that it was him, to which we both roared with laughter.

I thought about his birthday present to me last year. He had carved me a figurine of a wolf nuzzling its nose into a beautiful princess's hair. I always thought it funny when he called me a princess. He said that I was the most unique, beautiful, and fair creature on the planet, and if that did not a princess make, he didn't know what would. That was the first moment that I ever thought about Jake differently. I was too embarrassed to even think to say anything though, because it was so clear to me that Jacob saw himself as my protector and companion; not anything more. Plus, I was technically barely five years old at the time... It would have been considered pedophilia in most cultures for him to feel differently, even though I was much older physically and mentally than my years.

It wasn't exactly like my mom could take me into Victoria's Secret and say: "I'm looking for a 32C for my five-year-old." My physical stature had been somewhat of a topic of hardship for my parents. Even though they didn't have much to base my growth process on, they swore that I was an "early bloomer." Last year I had hips come out of nowhere and cheekbones that didn't exist in my prior child-like face. My father all but refused to take me out in public. Random men's impure thoughts about me had infuriated him. Our last few public outings had not gone well. For either of us. The men at a music store had never been so verbally assaulted in their lives... and my dad? He'd never been so angry at a human. I was mortified. _Hadn't he been used to men's thoughts about the rest of the women in our family, especially Aunt Rose?_ "Rosalie is not my five-year old daughter," I remembered him saying when we were arguing following the altercation. After which we engaged in a fervent discussion about my hybrid age versus my literal human age.

As we ran back to the house from my own personal snow-covered Narnia, we quizzed each other on musical trivia. Our shared passion of classical music was one of the characteristics that bound us as more than father and daughter.

"One of Debussy's earliest piano teachers was Madame Antoinette Maute. What famous French poet, who wrote "Fetes Galantes," was Madame Maute's son-in-law?" he asked.

"Paul Verlaine!" He thought he was throwing me a hard one, but he should have known that I'd read all of Debussy's biographies. "Which piece did Chopin write after seeing the French countryside?" I knew he'd know it.

"Sunshine!"

"The piece's formal name please," I said in my best Alex Trebek impersonation.

"Opus 10 number 8, Etude in F major!" he said with ease.

We went back and forth for hundreds of miles. I was frustrated when he finally had me when I didn't know the name of Wagner's second wife, Cosima Liszt. He knew he would win on a Wagner question. I had never been a fan of his.

As soon as we walked through the door, Aunt Alice began playing the bossy party planner.

"March right up stairs and take a shower. Please use the Enjoy Hair Mask I left in the shower for you. Your curls are starving for moisture." She didn't even look at me when I came in the door, she was too engulfed in a floral arrangement... it was more pink.

The shower was so relaxing. As I put the mask in my hair and wound it in a bun to let it "marinate" as I liked to call it, I scrubbed the polar bear off my face with a homemade brown sugar scrub that Aunt Rose used to use when she was human. I expertly shaved my legs and underarms, rinsed my hair, and stepped out of the shower while wrapping my hair into a towel to sit on top of my head like a turban. I really wanted to look pretty tonight. I had been grungy and dirty all day with my dad, and tonight, I needed to dress up and feel like a lady. As of lately, I obsessed over my appearance when Jake was around. I attributed it to just wanting to look presentable in general, but I knew deep down that it was for him. Even if he'd never notice. Sure, he'd always told me I was beautiful, but so did the rest of my family. Barely above my subconscious, I realized that I wanted him to see me as exquisite, or magnificent... not as merely "beautiful" which seemed so blasé in my perfectly porcelain family.

As soon as Aunt A put the finishing touches on my makeup and hair, she presented me with the familiar cream and black colored dress box of an Oscar de la Renta work of art; it wasn't my first.

"I know it's more my taste than yours, but will you just humor me please? I promise everyone will love it." She was so smooth.

"Come on, I'm not Mom! I'm not _that_ difficult," I said back to her with a giggle.

I opened the box and pulled out an iridescent pale pink and silver striped raw silk party dress. Stunning was the only word I could think of.

"Oh Aunt Alice, this is..." I paused searching for words. "Perfect." I started unzipping the dress to step in. She flitted behind me to zip me up. I looked in the mirror, stunned. She had really outdone herself this time.

"I think your locket will go perfectly. You hardly ever wear it anymore," she said of my first Christmas present that my mom had bought me, when she was afraid she would never see me again. As I stood in front of the mirror, she draped it around my neck from behind me and secured the clasp in one swift motion. I felt a sense of something I couldn't place my finger on. Confidence? Pride? Anxiousness? The butterflies in my stomach overwhelmed me. My mom had given me this necklace as a reminder of my family when she was afraid that Jake would have to take me and run from the Volturi when I was just a baby. Even then they knew that we were supposed to be a part of each other's lives.

_Stop thinking about your BEST FRIEND in that way— the man who is probably still in love with your MOTHER!_ My head shouted to my heart. Why did my first crush have to be him? I couldn't have picked anyone in a more complicated scenario.

The possibilities though... That's what I was really romanticizing, I was sure of it. I'd watched enough romantic comedies to hear the line "You're not in love with him, you're in love with the idea of him" more than a thousand times. I internally argued that it was the idea of my romantic future that excited me, not him specifically. It only made sense that I would take my feelings out on Jake. I really didn't know any other boys! Surely when I started dating I would find lots of boys intriguing... I started to get excited about the idea of possibilities while I waited for Aunt A to come back with my shoes. She had left them at her and Uncle Jasper's house down the street. Patent light grey Miu Miu pumps matched the silver in the dress perfectly. Aunt A was a Godsend.

As I descended the stairs to meet my family in the living room, I took in their beauty. The men looked so dapper. My dad and grandpa wore perfectly tailored black tuxes. Uncle Em wore a charcoal grey suit that he obviously hated, and Uncle Jazz donned slim black dress pants and a matching black vest over a crisp white shirt with French cuffs. I couldn't decide if it made him look more like a _GQ_ model or like the Civil War hero that he was. His double breasted suit jacket hung over the back of a nearby chair... most likely for quick access to slip on when pictures were to be taken. Aunt Alice's request, I was sure.

My beautiful mother wore a no-fuss blue silk sheath dress. Blue had always been my dad's preferred color on her. Aunt Rose wore a classic emerald green embroidered gown that contrasted so brilliantly with her golden hair. Grandma wore a bronze taffeta wrap dress with a perfectly tied bow on her waist. She was always so classic. And then the pixie... Alice was Alice. She wore a straight-off-the-runway Missoni slinky little number. She looked like a brown-haired Tinkerbell in a $7,500 dress... It was my best guess for cost, although I usually guessed low.

The party was in full swing, but I had noticed an absence. I tried not to make a big deal of it and let my dad recount our hunt earlier in the day with the polar bear. Uncle Emmett gave me a big hug and let me know how proud he was of his little huntress niece.

"Present time!" Aunt Alice trilled.

"Sounds good to me!" No matter how much I matured, I still loved presents like a little kid.

"Open mine first." Uncle Emmett pushed a box into my hands. He started to mischievously laugh.

I tore timidly at the paper, knowing how much of a jokester my Uncle was. Underneath the brightly colored paper was a children's game. In the right hand corner of the lid it read: FOR CHILDREN AGES 6+.

"You can finally play it now! You're old enough!" Uncle Emmett snickered as Aunt Rose rolled her eyes, obviously not having any association with the gift.

"Um, thanks?" I said more questioningly than as a statement.

"Ours is next! It's a joint gift," Aunt Alice exclaimed.

As I opened the box, I saw a complete anthology of the history of fashion. Authored by greats such as Karl Lagerfeld, Tom Ford, Roberto Cavalli, Diane Von Furstenberg, Anna Wintour, Miuccia Prada, and the late great Coco Chanel herself. This gift was such a mix of Aunt Alice's love of fashion and Uncle Jasper's passion for history.

"This is so great! I guess I have a lot of studying to do." I said.

"There will be tests!" Aunt A sang.

"I don't doubt it," I said between giggle-fits.

"This one is from me." Aunt Rose held out a small flat gift.

"You didn't have to." I reminded her as I opened the silver box.

Inside was a framed portrait that we had sketched while we were in Paris. It had a remarkable resemblance to us. The artist was very skilled... but Aunt Rose had paid him an obscene amount if I remember correctly.

"Wow, thank you so much, Aunt Rose. This is so special to me! I want to hang it on my wall right above my desk, so I can look at it all the time! I love it so much, Aunt Rose. This is so great." I wanted her to know just how much this meant to me. She and I, since before I was born, had shared a special bond. She fought for me. She loved me even before my own father did. She had always been a bit of a surrogate mother to me.

Grandma and Grandpa came forward next.

"I hope you like it," was all that Grandpa said to me.

I unwrapped the delicate paper to reveal a heavily bound leather book with the Cullen crest on the front, with the words "Cullen Family History" underneath the crest of the lion. I opened the book and found Grandpa Carlisle's pristine old world calligraphy. Hundreds of pages. I was in awe.

"It starts with my vague memories as a human and exactly details everything from the date of my change until the moment you were born. Everything you have ever wanted to know about our family lies in these pages." He watched me expectantly as I flipped through it.

I ran over to hug both of them.

"This is now my most prized possession, Grandpa. Our history is so vital to who we are today. I can't wait to study this extensively."

"I know you'll guard our family's lives and secrets with everything you are. This would be a formidable weapon against us in the wrong hands" he warned. "Your grandmother and I weighed the consequences and decided it was a risk worth taking. Our history is part of you, and you should have it," he said very seriously but with love and admiration in his eyes.

"Nothing I possess will mean more to me," I said reassuringly.

"Sorry I'm late!" I heard his voice coming through the door and immediately felt relieved and anxious all at the same time. I had never seen him look more handsome. His dark skin contrasted perfectly with a black tux very similar to my father's. Maybe they'd gone to the same bespoke tailor? The jacket was obviously made just for him. It made him look like a prince. Jake didn't go for the bowtie though. He casually left the collar unbuttoned to give a peek at that amazing indentation between his neck and his chest. I knew it was medically called the manubrium, but that word didn't do justice for Jake. His body was indescribable by anything but a heart flutter. The collar of his shirt almost completely hid a little pink scar on his neck. One that I'd given him as a newborn as I'd constantly bit him. He called them "love bites" or his permanent version of a friendship bracelet. He always turned everything into a positive.

"Perfect timing, Jake! Nessie is just opening her presents!" Aunt Alice seemed more excited than usual to see him.

"Oh, okay... Is it my turn?" He looked questioningly at me.

"You didn't have to get me anything."

"Deal" was all he said in retort, as he came to my side and put his warm arm around my shoulders. "I hope you like it."

It was obviously a jewelry box. I opened it to find a silver cuff bracelet with an oblong piece of lapis wrapped in a double rope detail that reminded me of David Yurman jewelry. I didn't remember telling Jake that lapis was my favorite stone—and my hybrid brain remembered everything. He must have really put some thought into this. The bracelet was a complete mix of Jake's Native American heritage and my more designer tastes... a la Aunt Alice.

"I know it's probably not _Alice_ approved styling, but I thought it looked like something you'd like."

"I love it. It's beautiful, Jacob," I told him as I turned it over in my hands. Then I noticed the paw print carved on the underside side of the lapis.

"This is so great, Jake. Thank you. It is absolutely beautiful."

"It's a direct replica of my paw's imprint... just smaller of course."

There was an awkward silence in the room that I wasn't sure what to attribute it to.

"How special, Jake! It'll mean so much to her!" Aunt A interrupted the quiet, gripping him in a tight hug.

"What do you mean it will mean so much to me? It already does! His gifts are always thoughtful and special." Aunt Alice's cryptic remarks all week were getting on my nerves.

"I just mean, that sometimes gifts have more meaning than you first realize," she said sweetly back at me.

I didn't know how to respond, so I dropped the conversation. The bracelet didn't go with my outfit at all, but I wore it proudly anyway.

"You can open ours later," My dad mentioned to me.

"Your father has a flair for the dramatic; it might overshadow Alice's party," My mom added.

"Oh, okay. Are you sure? I don't mind opening another gift now, if you want me to," I reassured them.

"Trust me, Alice wants me to wait," My dad confided.

"I'm a little confused, but okay. I'm sure I'll love it," I said as I hugged my parents.

Pictures were taken. In multitudes. Aunt A didn't miss a moment. She made sure to get individual pictures with me and everyone at the party. I thought I was being assaulted by the paparazzi when I cut the cake. There seemed to be camera flashes from every angle. The cake was beautiful... which was the only real purpose for it.

Alice had covered the cake in a powder pink fondant and scalloped white piping. The cake was better suited for a royal wedding than a six-year-old's birthday party. As soon as all the pictures were taken, Jacob practically went into a feeding frenzy. How could he even taste it, when he was eating so quickly? I had a few bites, but I was still full from the day's earlier arctic festivities.

"Is that why they call it wolfing something down, Jake?" I asked him, smiling.

"My appetite is a thing of legends!" he retorted. We all got a good laugh.

I spoke with everyone after the cake cutting and thanked them all for their generous gifts... all while staying very aware of Jacob. Where he was, what he was doing, and wondering what he was thinking. It was exhausting being in the same room with him and not at his side. He was the consummate gentleman... not even a glint in his eye that he saw me as anything more than his closest friend. It was maddening, or maybe I was just going mad. I'd never been like this about him before. Maybe it was the tux, but I'd swear there was that same magnetic pull that emanated from him as when we were on the run to La Push. I gave up and spent most of the night super-glued to his side. I was blissfully happy. I never wanted my party to end.

I was jerked out of my thoughts when Aunt Alice tapped a knife to the side of a crystal champagne glass (it was only ever used for this purpose) to get everyone's attention. "Since this is Nessie's birthday, I thought we should play charades." Ever since I was able to speak, I had loved this game. "So everyone, let's head into the family room."

"Bella cannot be on Edward's team this time! They're cheaters!" Uncle Emmett declared.

"Oh, you're just a sore loser," my father replied.

It was my mom's job to shield everyone during the game so that no one could "foresee" or "mind-read" someone's word or phrase they were to act out. My mom positively hated this game since she didn't want to ever be the center of attention, so she sent my dad her thoughts so that it would be a short round—hence, cheater.

"I'm with you, Uncle Emmett—mom and dad are proven cheaters!" I said and then childishly stuck out my tongue at my dad.

"I've already worked out the teams. And yes, those two are cheaters," Aunt A snickered at me. "We're having a battle of the sexes tonight. Men against women. You have five minutes to come up with team names and 15 secret words or phrases for the opposing team. Pen and paper on the coffee table. GO!" Aunt Alice should have had a scarf in her hand as if she was signaling the start of a drag race. Everyone rushed over to the coffee table in the family room to get started.

"What should our team name be?" Grandma asked.

"How about 'The Draculadies'?" I thought it was so amusing.

Aunt Rose touched her finger to her nose in proper Charades fashion. "Perfect!" she said between laughs.

Then, we each took the pen and paper and started coming up with categories and words or phrases. A timer chimed after five minutes. The teams piled together on to the couches on opposite sides of the coffee table.

"Ladies first!" Grandpa was always the gentleman.

I had been chosen as team captain, so I had to go first. I picked up a tiny folded piece of paper out of the bowl:

CATEGORY: MOVIE

PHRASE: INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE

_Cute_, I thought. I knew Jake's handwriting. This was going to be interesting. I made the obligatory sign for "movie" by pretending to crank an old-fashioned movie camera.

"Okay, it's a movie," my mom said intently.

I held up four fingers.

"4 words," she said again.

I signaled "first word" and began to pretend to speak into a microphone and then hold it for someone else. I then acted as if I was taking notes and nodding at an imaginary interviewee.

"Reporter!" my mom shouted.

"News?" Aunt Rose asked.

I shook my head and took a different approach. I pretended to hold a recorder, pressed a button and set it down. I then picked up my imaginary note pad and pen and began to listen, nod, and write.

"Interview!" Alice finally nailed it.

I nodded excitedly and then signaled fourth word and pointed to my bicuspids and pretended to bite someone.

"Oh please, Jake. Is it really _Interview with a Vampire_? So clever, Jake," Aunt Rose said curtly while rolling her eyes.

"What? I thought it was funny," he replied back to her between snickers.

"Team Alpha is next!" Uncle Emmett declared, like we didn't know.

Uncle Jasper stood and picked a folded piece of paper from the bowl. He started making all sorts of gestures.

"What the heck is that supposed to mean? Do something we understand!" Uncle Emmett said in frustration.

Uncle Jazz paused and then redirected his efforts. It was obvious that it was a person and female... but after that, he had lost me too. He began swaying his hips, batting his eyelashes, and pretending to pounce on my dad.

"Heidi?" Grandpa asked.

"Rosalie?" Dad tried with a chuckle.

Then a roaring laughter bursted out of Uncle Emmett. "I get it! That's so her!"

"Who?" My dad asked.

"Tanya! Jazz nailed her! That's just like her!" Uncle Emmett couldn't stop laughing, and eventually everyone else joined in too.

"Finally!" Uncle Jasper seemed relieved to stop making a fool of himself.

The rest of the game continued the same hilarity. In the end, The Draculadies beat The Alphas by two points.

We were going to play a second game, but somehow the teams fell apart, and everyone started up their conversations again. Over in the corner of the room, I saw Jacob and my mom talking. Their arms were linked and they were leaning against each other. _How did this not bother my dad?_ They seemed to be enjoying their conversation. They were both smiling, laughing, and at times their foreheads touched. My stomach was doing literal flips. I didn't like seeing him act the way he acted with me, with my mom. It was gut-wrenching.

"They're talking about how different their lives have become—how happy they are with how things have turned out." My dad had silently ghosted up behind me to ease my concerns. He put his hands on my shoulders. "I don't worry because your mother only has eyes for me. Jacob deserves more of your trust. It took a while, but he has mine completely. He has earned it. You should think about that and stop doubting all the time, honey." With a kiss on my cheek, my dad left me to contemplate his Yoda-esque advice. I knew he was right, but it didn't make it any easier. I took in a big breath and let it out in one long sigh of frustration.

As the night wound down and my aunts and uncles gave me kisses good night and headed back to their respective houses down the street, I sat on the couch next to Jake. He took my lapis bracelet-covered wrist in his large hands and smiled.

"You know how important you are to me, don't you?" I could see hesitation written all over his face.

"Jake, you're my best friend. You're the one person that always puts me in a better mood. You're always there for me. I know that." I looked up at him from beneath my eyelashes.

"Sure sure, but more than that, Nessie. I just want to make sure you understand that I will always be here, and that, in a way—I'm bound to you."

"You say _bound_ almost as if you didn't chose our connection." I hesitated. "Jake, our friendship goes two ways. I love having you around too, but I do worry that I take you away from your Alpha responsibilities, and I've never heard you talk about dating like the others do." Did I really just say that last part out loud?

"I have everything I need. Promise," he whispered in a low voice to me.

Out of embarrassment, I changed the subject. "I really do love my gift. It's beautiful." I slid it off my wrist and turned it over to brush my thumb over the carved-out paw print on the back side of the lapis.

"Something seems to be bothering you though. I know that face. You almost seem—forlorn. Did I do something wrong?" He looked worried.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong, Jake, I'm just..." I hesitated again_. Why was I being such a wimp about this?_ "Can I ask you a question? I guess it's more of a clarification." I didn't know how I was going to get this out.

"Always," was all he said.

"You loved my mom, right?" I really wished I had just left it alone.

"Yes, I loved her very much."

"And now?"

"Is that what this is about? Are you thinking I'm still in love with your mother?" His tone almost seemed upset.

"I don't know. The way I've heard stories about how you tried to win her..." I didn't know how to proceed. "How does that just go away?"

He squared his shoulders toward me, his eyes turned very serious, and his lips pursed. "Since the day you were born, I have loved your mother like I love Leah or Emily. She is family. My priorities shifted, and until I decide that it is time to discuss this further, I don't want you to bring it up again. I'm not meaning to sound gruff with you, Ness, but I think I have made my feelings on this matter clear." He didn't take his authoritative eyes off of mine. He looked a bit remorseful about his tone, but he meant every word, and that was indisputable.

"I'm sorry, Jake, I didn't mean to doubt you, I just get insecure in our friendship sometimes. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

He took the bracelet out of my hand and placed it back on my wrist. He kept his hand firmly on my wrist for a lingering moment, kissed my forehead, and with a huff stood up from the couch, all of a sudden towering over me.

"We're fine, promise, but I really should be heading out," he said with his eyes on the floor, obviously still upset.

"I'll see you soon, right?" he had me worried

"Always."

After Jake left to go back to La Push, I was exhausted. Mentally and physically. My bed was calling my name, so I quickly went upstairs to get ready for bed. As I was taking Aunt Alice's expertly placed makeup off, I thought about the cryptic conversation with Jake. He could be so difficult to understand sometimes. _Why had this insulted him so much? Why did he not want to "discuss it further," and when was this time to talk about it going to be?_ I was more confused than ever.

I came back downstairs in my pajamas to say goodnight to my parents and grandparents. I kissed them all, then my mother came upstairs to tuck me in.

"Tomorrow your Aunt Alice and I are going to take you shopping," she said with all the enthusiasm that she could muster.

"Where are we going? We've picked Vancouver's fashion scene clean!" I asked. Vancouver was a 16 hour car ride if my mom drove, and a 12 hour drive if my dad or Aunt A drove. Internet shopping to get anything that suited our tastes (Aunt A's) became a beloved past time in our family. Bi-monthly trips to Vancouver, though, had become a necessity—and even then we easily got bored. BCBG was not our idea of high fashion.

"We were thinking Zellers, is that okay?" She tried to keep a straight face.

"Oh sounds great! I can't wait." I was a terrible liar just like my mom. My family loved to joke about that sad attempt of a store.

"Okay, okay. We're going to Chicago," my mother enthusiastically told me. "Alice has it all planned. She said that Escada has held one of everything from their latest collection, Hermes just received the custom ostrich Kelly bag that she is planning on giving your grandmother for Mother's Day, and Anne Fontaine is holding a few new blouses for me." She had said the word "grandmother" as silently as possible so that Grandma Esme didn't hear. My mom had finally given in to my fashionable aunt's antics and had found a few designers that she really loved. The classic and feminine blouses of Anne Fontaine became staples in her wardrobe. The luxury of spending a minimum $500 on a single blouse was still a concept that she was grappling with. I was more of a Burberry girl.

"Do you know if she's contacted Burberry?" I asked, knowing that of course Aunt Alice hadn't forgotten.

"Well of course, they're already holding a small country's worth of clothes for you. I also think Alice mentioned that she contacted Marlowe and had them hold a gamut of cashmere and other knits since it's been so cold lately." My mother was so beautiful, even when she was faking interest in something like fashion.

"Sounds perfect! What time is our flight plan booked for?" I was getting excited.

"We booked it for 8:30 tomorrow morning, so you need to get your rest."

Grandpa had finally given in about a private plane. He had been adamant that they were too conspicuous, but our back story here allowed for it. We were old railroad money from New England, who came to Price Rupert for my dad's new job as a Canadian marine life research scientist. Grandpa had been easily accepted with open arms to the Prince Rupert Regional Hospital, and had quickly become the new Chief of Surgery. He mainly dealt with gruesome fishing accidents and elderly cardiac issues. He seemed to be at home here.

My mom had my nightly routine down. She tucked me in, kissed my forehead and said, "This day and every day, you make your family proud. Renesmee, my own little personal miracle. You, my daughter, are well loved. Sweet and happy dreams, my baby." Then she always left the room with Proverbs 31:29. "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!" She closed the door behind her and went back downstairs to be with my dad and grandparents.

Sleep did not come quickly. My mind raced with the day's occurrences.

Emmett's POV

Overhearing Nessie and Jake's conversation was borderline painful. She was so smart and so levelheaded, I didn't understand why everyone was so hell-bent on keeping her in the dark. She wasn't a child anymore. She didn't look like one, that's for damn sure.

I had always thought that she should have known about the imprint from day one. To me, it was like an adopted child not being told until he was eighteen that his parents weren't really his parents. It was just plain deceitful. Nessie had the right to know. I'd almost told her countless times, but Alice and Edward had always gotten to me first and talked me out of it. They wanted to keep her an innocent child for as long as possible. I personally didn't see the point.

Out of everyone, I was most disappointed in Edward. He was going to smother that girl. My brother was so incredibly overprotective of his daughter. He disguised it as "trying to do what's best for Renesmee," but I saw it differently. I thought he was being selfish. He wanted Renesmee all to himself for as long as possible, just as he'd done with Bella.

Nessie had started developing feelings for Jake over the past year; it was obvious to everyone. We didn't have to be mind readers or empaths to see it. But Jake had stayed true to his word. He wasn't going to pursue Ness until she was an adult. That was great and all, but at what point were they finally going to realize that she already was? She had the cognizance skills of someone ten times her age and the emotional capacity of Mother Theresa. What were they waiting for? I felt like they were holding her to human standards. Nessie was anything but human.

From the time she was a baby, I had a special bond with my little niece. She used to put her tiny hands on my face and show me visions of Rosalie when I wasn't around. We were a team from the start. I was always in trouble with Rose for something, whether it was something I'd say, or something I didn't do. Nessie would find out and show me Rose talking about it to Esme or Alice. Making up with Rose was the best part about fighting, and Rose knew it; I partially think it was why she got mad at me so often. This way, we got to the making up part faster. Nessie had no idea, but she was quite the wing-man/girl.

When Nessie got bigger, we started to grow even closer through sports. She loved to play rough, and we would wrestle for hours. I taught her how to hit a home run Cullen-style, and how to throw a perfect spiral. Rosalie would say that I treated her like my own little tomboy daughter. I did, in a way. We all did. She belonged to all of us, not just Bella and Edward. Every one of us thought of her as our own, and we treated her that way. As such, I couldn't let this torture continue much longer. She needed to know the truth. Not only so she could realize that Jake was in love with her, and not her mother, but so we weren't all lying to her anymore. The deception had to end.

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Link to the bracelet: http :/ www. davesdowntoearthrockshop. com/store/ native-american-art/native-american-jewelry/artie-yellowhorse-jewelry-native-american-jewelry-silver-lapis. html

(take out the spaces)

A/N

A MILLION THANKS TO MY AMAZING "PROJECT TEAM BETA" BETAS!

Nikki Halen- Thank you for all your great notes. I loved how much you helped me add more emotion to the characters. So many of your notes on this chapter said things like: "How did so-and-so feel about this?" I LOVED that. You helped A TON.

Furious Kitten- Thank you for all your punctuation help with my dialogue. You gave such great feedback in so many areas. I appreciated all your help.

Also, a big shout-out to my new friend, awesome author, and magnificent pre-reader, Content1. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ HER STORIES, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING FOR THE NEXT WEEK, TAKE A VACATION FROM WORK IF YOU HAVE TO... AND READ THEM.


	4. Chicago

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.

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CHAPTER 3: CHICAGO

Aunt Alice expertly landed the G550 into the Signature Flights private hub of O'Hare airport on time. Her weather predictions had been spot-on. It was gray and cloudy, a quintessential September day in Chicago.

"Shopping shoes on, ladies?" Aunt A was pumped for some real shopping in a major city.

"I'm not sure what qualifies as 'shopping shoes,' but I'm wearing shoes, and we're going shopping," Mom said sarcastically. This was going to be painful for her.

"Good enough!" Aunt A was practically floating.

As soon as we de-planed, a black limo pulled up. The tall, slim and wrinkled chauffeur stepped out of the car, tipped his hat and smiled a crooked-toothed smile. He had obviously been a sun worshiper in his youth. He seemed to be in his mid-fifties, but his tanned leathery skin looked about ten years on top of that. "Good morning, Ladies. My name is Lionel. Please, whatever you need today, let me know. I will take excellent care of you ladies." His voice was soft and endearing especially when mixed with his obvious Chicago accent. He seemed to be one of those people in the mid-west that were born and raised in the same city where he'd lived their whole life, never wanting to move away. I liked that about him. He seemed content.

Alice glided toward him with a perfect smile. "Lovely to meet you, Lionel. Were you given our itinerary for the day?"

"Yes, ma'am. I see that shopping on the beautiful Michigan Avenue is our main activity for the day, then to the Elysain Hotel for the night. Tomorrow, I will pick you up from the hotel at three-forty-five and bring you back to the Signature hub for your departure time of five o'clock. Does this suit you ladies?"

"Wonderful, Lionel, thank you," Aunt Alice said as she reached a gloved hand out to him holding a one hundred dollar bill. Aunt Alice was an excellent tipper. Wherever she traveled, like most of my family, to hand out as tips, she had a roll of one hundred dollar bills five inches thick in her purse.

He opened the door of the limo, and one by one, we climbed inside. Usually limos weren't our style. Aunt A thought they were a bit tacky, so we usually took Town Cars or some sort of luxury SUV, but since there were three of us and we were no doubt going to have a few packages, a limo seemed to be the sensible option. As Lionel closed the door behind us and hurried over to the driver's side, Aunt A pressed the button to raise the partition for added privacy.

"Perfect weather today, huh?" I said as I peered out the tinted window at the clouds.

"Couldn't be better!" My aunt said as she and my mother pulled their gloves off daintily, finger by finger almost in unison.

"Sixty degrees and cloudy, we can't ask for much better than that." My mom chimed in.

"My party was so fun last night, Aunt Alice. Thank you. Really, you made it perfect. It was exactly what I wanted." I turned to her in our seat and gave her a hug.

"The Draculadies were pretty amazing, if I do say so myself. I can't believe how quickly you guys got my _Valley of the Dolls_ turn! I thought it would have been impossible! I just kept pretending to pop pills after you knew that it was a book. We're a great team," Aunt Alice said to my mom and me.

"So, the plan is to work our way north." It seemed that Uncle Jasper's military tactics had worn off on my aunt. She was approaching today the way a colonel would lead his army into war. "We'll start at Burberry then go to Ferragamo on the same block, as well as Marlowe. After that, we'll hit Escada, then Anne Fontaine, and then make our way over to Hermes and down to the Elysian. We've got a tight schedule, so no lolly-gagging. This is business, girls!" My little powerhouse aunt was pumped and ready to go. She lived for this.

"Yes, sir!" I mocked with a salute.

Soon enough, we pulled up to Burberry. Lionel opened our door, and the smell of the city infiltrated my nose. Car fumes mixed with cigarettes and crisp fall air. Sounds gross, but I loved it. Big cities fascinated me.

"Well, come on! What are you waiting for Miss Renesmee?" Aunt A hurried me through the door.

We were greeted by four members of the sales department all exquisitely dressed. Ruth, the store manager, handed us each a bottle of Perrier. Mom and Aunt A saved their bottles for me to drink.

"Hello Ladies. Welcome back to Burberry, it's great to see you again. We have been excitedly awaiting your arrival, so we have many things to show you. We even called the flagship London store and had them overnight some of the runway pieces that our store didn't get." Ruth wore skin tight camel colored riding pants with suede inserts at the knees, paired with a crisp white collared shirt and black pebbled-leather riding boots. Her wavy auburn hair neatly side parted and tucked behind her ears.

"Please let me know if there is anything extra that you need help with. As you know, we have an on-site tailor that has a less than twenty-four hour turnaround. In most cases, it can be done by the end of the day and sent to your hotel. Elizabeth, Lisa and Steven will be assisting you today. We have already stocked dressing rooms in the back with each of your sizes." She smiled at us and then quickly turned to Lisa, telling her to take us back to the fitting room.

"Please follow me, ladies." Lisa, a tall and thin blonde woman with her hair in a messy bun and thick cat-eye eyeliner, motioned to us. She was in her late twenties, and by her walk, I could tell that she was, or had wanted to be, a model at some point.

"Miss Cullen, this is your fitting room, Mrs. Cullen is in the next room to the right, and the next is Mrs. Whitlock's. Please let me know if you need anything," Lisa said to us with a smile.

A sea of tan, navy, white, black and touches of red filled the space. There was at least one hundred thousand dollars worth of clothes and accessories in my designated fitting room.

"I don't hear you changing yet!" Aunt Alice said in a sing-song voice.

Dresses first. They were the easiest. Dress after dress fit perfectly and were put in the _yes_ pile. Then, I saw one of the most beautiful dresses I'd ever laid eyes on. It was entirely simple, but that was part of its charm. I slipped it on and looked in the mirror. "Whoa!"

"You found the cream colored v-neck dress, didn't you?" Aunt Alice chirped.

"Let's see it, honey!" My mom actually seemed excited. As I stepped out, there was silence. _Was it bad_?

"You look..." Mom couldn't speak.

"Grown up!" Aunt Alice's eyes couldn't have been any wider looking at me.

I looked in the mirror again. The person staring back at me looked to be a sixteen year old prom queen, but sexier. The bone-colored dress was only a shade lighter than my skin tone. The neck of the dress was lined with a thin braided piece of grey metallic Burberry plaid that ran down the back of the dress with the zipper as well.

"I've never seen you look more amazing," my mom said with a huge smile.

Out of the thirty-two items I left Burberry with, that dress was, by far, the stand out. I couldn't wait to find an occasion to wear it.

Ferragamo was a blur. We were in and out so quickly, each with four red shopping bags stuffed full of everything from leather jackets to shoes, belts and sunglasses.

As we entered Marlowe, Alice gave another colonel's warning. "Girls, I'd like to be out of here in thirty minutes. Can you do that? Grab and go; that's how this round of the game is going to be played. We can always give away to Goodwill what we don't want to keep," she reminded us.

Prince Rupert was freezing, so I made sure to pick up sweaters of all shapes, sizes and colors. I needed variety. Sweaters could get boring. The cashier rang up the total at $7,894.86. More shopping bags piled into the limo.

As we pulled up to the corner of Michigan and Chestnut, Aunt Alice started to squeal. She loved Escada. Mom and I weren't as thrilled, but we played nice anyway.

"I'll try to make this as minimally painful as possible. I don't even need to try anything on. I know my size, and I know what I want," she reassured us.

When the three of us charged the brass-bordered glass doors like we were storming Normandy, the troops inside were ready and waiting.

"Hello, Mrs. Whitlock. We've been expecting you," a handsome man in a slim navy suit said to Aunt Alice. He handed her a glass of champagne, gave my mother a once-over, and with hesitation, offered her a glass as well. I wasn't sure if the hesitation was because of her perceived age or her multi-colored Chuck Taylors. They were a limited Missoni edition, but Mr. Navy Suit probably didn't care.

"No thank you, I don't drink," my beautiful mother said with a wink back to me. As soon as Mr. Navy Suit's back was turned, Aunt A dumped the bubbly gold liquid into a potted topiary by the register.

"Let me take you ladies back to the salon where we have all of your items picked out for you. I think you'll be very happy, Mrs. Whitlock," Navy Suit said.

Aunt A danced over to the rows of clothes specially picked out for her. "Yes, yes, oh no, hmm- yes, never, I love this!" she said while flipping through the racks. She was a shopping whiz. She could tell just as much from a glance at a piece of clothing as I could at a pile of loose sheet music. I could read the notes so quickly that with just a glance, I could tell whether I would enjoy the work or not. Twenty minutes later, we were back in the limo, and I was exhausted.

"Saved the best for last!" My mom always enjoyed perusing Anne Fontaine. She tried on at least twenty different styles of tops and blouses. She was more discerning about buying clothes than Aunt Alice or I was. She hated to waste money. Mom ended up buying four new blouses and three other tops.

As I plopped back inside the stuffed limo, sardine-packed with our purchases, I began to nod off.

"We're on a bit of a time crunch. I'm just going to run in. You guys can just stay here." Aunt A just needed to run into Hermes to pick up the bag that was already wrapped and paid for. As great as my affinity for Hermes was, I was glad that I didn't have to drag my butt from the seat again until we reached the hotel.

"Why are we in such a hurry? I didn't think we had anything else planned for the day." I didn't understand why we were so rushed.

"I just want to have as much time with you as possible, that's all," my aunt said with a smile. _ What was she not telling me?_

As Lionel opened our door when we finally arrived at the Elysian, I took in the incredible view. The hotel seemed to reach all the way to the clouds. The air had gotten a bit dewier in the late afternoon, and I could smell that it was going to rain. I loved the sky before it rained—so perfectly painted with muted tones of mauve, charcoal, and lilac. I must have been staring.

"Looks like we'll have some rain tonight. I hope you ladies brought umbrellas or were planning on ordering room service for dinner," said Lionel.

"Yes, it does look like rain. I have a feeling I'll—we'll be ordering in." I tried to recover my slip-up. He didn't seem to notice. Small talk didn't seem like Lionel's forte.

Mom and I waited in the gargantuan lobby of the hotel while Aunt Alice checked us in. The white marble floors were broken up by a beautiful black mosaic swirl on the floor. Letting my eyes follow it for too long made me dizzy.

"Quite the statues, huh?" My mom walked over to the two ceramic busts fixed on thick glass rectangular slabs. The haunting faces seemed like an odd choice for the hotel, but interesting none the less.

"Our room is ready!" Aunt A skipped over to us with a big smile on her face waving the electronic key card. We were followed up to the room by six bellmen carrying all of our luggage and trophies from the day's shopping. With a slide of the keycard, I walked into the Presidential Suite (it was the only suite with two bedrooms).

The gargantuan three-thousand square foot suite was exquisitely decorated. The sophisticated grey, black and white color palate was offset by touches of vibrant purple throughout the suite. Black tufted leather sofas adorned with faux grey mink blankets were the focal point of the main living room. This place was just my taste. "Wow, this suite is incredible, Aunt Alice! I want to _live_ here!" No matter how many of these six-thousand a night suites I'd stayed in, I always understood the insane opulence of it. My mother made sure.

"Well good. I know we always stay at the Four Seasons when we're in Chicago, but I thought you'd like this hotel better," she said back to me with a warm faced smile.

I flopped down on the couch, stretched my arms above my head, and took a deep breath in relaxation. I was looking forward to the quiet evening ahead. Today had been a whirlwind. Not that I was complaining, I loved to shop, but days like this were overwhelmingly tiring. I stood up to get lip gloss out of my purse when I felt it. A feeling that I wasn't used to. I stood still for a second taking inventory of my body, inch by inch, trying to figure out what was different. All of a sudden, I felt my panties become uncomfortably wet. I rushed to the bathroom, having finally caught on to what was going on. Great. The two worst people to be with when this was happening. For all I knew, they were going to gush all night about my "womanhood." Ugh.

"Mom!" I yelled from the bathroom. "We have a situation."

In an instant, she ghosted in holding a box of slim tampons. "Think you can figure it out?" She was already smiling. _Fantastic_.

"Thanks. I think I got it from here." I awkwardly reached for the box and wanted to crawl into a shell and hide forever. Maybe I could just stay in this bathroom until the morning. After I cleaned myself up and figured out the tampon situation, I realized I was stuck in here with no bottoms. The bloody panties and jeans were rumpled on the corner of the pristine white Carrera marble bathroom floor. Almost on cue, the bathroom door creaked open a few inches, and a silver crinkled Neiman Marcus shopping bag slipped in with the help of a perfectly manicured hand that I knew to be my clairvoyant aunt's. Inside the bag was a pair of clean panties and my favorite, comfy, boyfriend-style, loose-fitting jeans with holes in the knees. Underneath the clothes, lying on the bottom of the bag, was a note from my aunt.

_Congrats on growing up, Renesmee Carlie. We should talk. When you're ready, your mother and I are waiting. xo A.A._

What was there to talk about? If they were really going to give me the "birds and the bees talk" it was too late. I'd been studying biology and anatomy with Grandpa Carlisle for years. I figured there was no point prolonging the agony that was sure to follow, so I wrapped my soiled clothes up in a towel and exited my cave.

"Come sit. We've much to discuss, honey." My mom looked nervous.

I sat down on the black leather couch across from where my mom and aunt sat in two parlor chairs.

"First of all, how are you feeling? Are you having cramps at all?" My mother, the worrier.

"I'm fine. What do we need to discuss? Please don't give me a speech about becoming a woman. That's going to be too painfully embarrassing." I put my head in my hands.

"Well, it is about that actually. Just not in the way you think," Aunt Alice said with a gentle tone, her eyes golden and endearing. "There's something we want to tell you about."

"Have you heard the story of how Sam and Emily fell in love?" my mom asked me.

"Yeah," I said as I furrowed my brow. I didn't know what this had to do with anything. "Sam was dating Leah, but then he met Emily, and as much as it killed him to hurt Leah, he realized Emily was his soul mate."

"That's mostly right…" my mother hesitated "…so you've never really heard about imprinting?"

"In what sense?" I was getting more and more confused by the second.

"Okay." Mom took a big breath and started again. "Vampires mate. When we meet the one, we know it. We want to be with that person for eternity. Your dad knew it with me, Grandpa Carlisle knew it with Grandma Esme, Aunt Alice knew it with Uncle Jasper. The list goes on. You could even go back to Aro and Sulpicia. They've been together for a millennia." She took another breath and continued. "Quileute shape-shifters mate too. When they make eye contact with their soul mate, they know immediately. Like Sam and Emily. It's called 'imprinting.' It's a bit more intense than how vampires mate, but overall, it's pretty much the same." She paused trying to figure out how to go on.

"Well, this is a lovely history lesson and all, but I'm not sure of the relevancy."

"Jacob imprinted," Aunt Alice blurted out.

"Oh." My heart sank. "Did you just get a call from him or something? I mean, that's great right? He deserves to be happy. Do we know her?"

"It's not new, Ness. Jacob imprinted six years ago, yesterday. In a way, you knew it before he did. When I was pregnant with you, all I wanted was to see Jake, to be near him. It was weird. You'd think all I'd want would have been your dad, but something in me pulled me to him. Like gravity. It was you, you were _pulling_ to him." She tried to explain. "The moment Jake locked eyes with you that day, he was a different person. He imprinted on you the day you were born."

"It's not gross like you think." Aunt Alice stepped in. "When a Quileute imprints on a child, it's not an adult kind of romantic love right away. It's more of a companion, protector, best friend kind of thing. Then, as the person matures, so will the relationship. They will automatically be the perfect match for each other. And then, they can live their lives together." Aunt Alice tried to explain.

"Are you trying to tell me that now that I've started my period, I'm technically matured, and that Jake is going to...what...fall in love with me?"

"He already does love you, and no. You're physically around fifteen or sixteen. A sixteen-year-old is not fully matured yet, but their sexual self starts to mature. They start to date, and some—not that we agree—start physical relationships," my mother said gingerly.

"What, and now you're Mrs. Robinson?" This was not okay. "I just get your castoffs? You didn't want to be with him, so now he took second best, your spawn? No thanks."

"It's not like that, and Renesmee, you know it." My mother looked sternly at me straight in the eyes, lips pursed. "Jacob doesn't deserve to be spoken about like that."

My aunt tried to redirect. "Nessie, you've had feelings for Jake for a while, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. I feel this odd need to be around him. Like when we're not together, the Earth stops spinning." _Really? Did I really just say that_?

"The imprint calls to you too, Nessie," Aunt Alice said to me.

"So you're saying it's almost as if a love spell has been cast on me? I have no choice in the matter? He just decided that I would be his, and that was it?" I didn't like the sound of this. I was just getting excited about the possibilities of my future, and now it was all slipping away. Sure, I liked Jacob, but if I ended up with him, I wanted it to be on my own accord, not some stupid wolf spell.

"It's not like that. Of course you have a choice. But why wouldn't you choose him? He's perfect for you. He'll love you more than anyone else could possibly even imagine loving someone. He'll always be there for you, and come on, he's not that hard on the eyes either," Aunt A said to me with a wink.

I wasn't denying any of this. Jacob would be an amazing mate, of course. But the assumption that it was just a given did not sit well with me.

"So, what? I'm supposed to go home and just forgo the idea of any other guy ever and just be with Jake from now on? How romantic is that? Because to me, it's not. I want to be wooed, courted; I want someone to try to win my affection. I don't want to be a sure-thing for anyone, even if it is Jake." I felt my eyes start to sting.

_Don't cry. Don't cry!_ I screamed to myself in my head. Every possibility for my future was slipping away, and I started to panic.

"You think he's not going to have to win your heart? Of course he'd court you. You're Edward Cullen's only daughter—his only _child_. You think your father is just going to let you get scooped up without a little work? Not a chance, princess." Aunt A was smiling at me, trying to reassure me.

"What has Dad said?"

"He is on Team Nessie. He only cares about your happiness. If Jake is what makes you happy, then he's on board, but he's not going to be easy on your wolf," Aunt Alice explained.

"My wolf." I let out a giant breath. I'd called him that for years, but now I didn't like the connotations it held.

"He's going to be very strict with Jake. Jake is going to have to work very hard to appease your father. See, the thing is, your father and I already know that Jake is the only one who can truly make you happy, Ness. We just want to protect you in every way possible through the process. So, even though your father knows that he'll lose in the end—just like he would to any man you choose to mate with—he's hoping losing you to Jake will result in your eternal happiness," Mom added.

"What if I let Jake down? What if he can't love me as much as he loved you?" Tears streamed down my face as I spoke to my mother. They plopped down onto my lap, seeping through my jeans. "You are so much prettier and smarter, and..." I was starting to hiccup in between sobs. "How could he possibly want to be with me? How could I possibly be with him? I'd be afraid he'd always be wishing I was more like you. I don't ride motorcycles. I don't..." more hiccups "…I can't compare."

Both my mother and Aunt Alice rushed to my side. I laid my head down on my mother's lap and let her stroke my hair as I soaked her lap in my tears.

"Do you ever listen to me? Honey, what have I told you almost every single night since you were a baby?" my mom asked in a soothing voice.

I shrugged my shoulders defiantly.

She recited Proverbs 31:29. "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all." She took my head in her hands and turned my face towards hers. "Do you think that is just lip service? That I have to tell you those things because I'm your mother? Renesmee Carlie Cullen, shame on you. You surpass us _all_. You are more unique, more beautiful, and more grounded than anyone in the family. You have pink cheeks, a heartbeat and all the beauty, strength, intelligence and invincibility of a vampire. Don't you see that you are the most special creature that walks God's green Earth? How could Jake _not_ want to be with you over everyone else in the world? He should only be so lucky that you would love him just as much."

I wasn't ready to be rationalized with yet. I didn't feel like that girl that they described. Who was she? Certainly not me. "This feels like a medieval arranged marriage."

"Nessie, you have a choice. You don't have to take him as your mate, but may I ask—why the hell not?" Aunt Alice always got to the point.

"It's not about that." I was calming down a bit. "I love Jake. But how do I know? How do I know there isn't someone better for me? Someone who doesn't have pack obligations that, to an extent, dictate where we can live? Someone who hasn't once loved my mother?"

"Nessie, you have to let that go. You will never be compared to her. You are his imprint. There is no comparison. You are his lifeline. He lives for you, honey—the same way your father only exists in a world with your mother, and the same way my reality revolves around your Uncle Jasper. It's the same. It's unbreakable." She was rubbing my back in gentle circles trying to do her best to calm me.

"Why are you guys telling me? Is he too afraid to tell me himself, like a normal person?" I asked.

"He doesn't actually know that we told you." My mom started. "He did want to be the one to tell you, but your big mouth Uncle Emmett told us that if we didn't tell you this weekend that he would. We also felt it was best to fill you in, so that this little breakdown didn't happen during a time that should be romantic and memorable."

"_Humph_" I sighed as I crossed my arms across my chest like a petulant three-year-old. "How could it possibly be romantic? I feel like I'm just going to get home, and when he sees me, he'll grunt at me and pound his chest in a 'me Tarzan, you Jane' type fashion."

"Oh honey, no one is ever going to call you Jane," my mom joked.

"I don't know, just wait until the first fight, Jake might wish Nessie used Jane's powers instead of her own." Aunt A started to laugh.

"Is this something you saw, or are you just guessing?" I asked.

"Not telling." She stuck out her tongue in response trying to lighten the mood.

"Have you guys talked to Jake about all this?" I asked.

"Frequently," Mom answered. "Look honey, Jake understands that this isn't going to be an easy transition. He knows that you're stubborn and will take some convincing, and Jake has made it clear that when the time comes, he'll do whatever he needs to do to bring you continued happiness. He just doesn't know that time has come."

I turned to look at Aunt Alice.

"I didn't tell him. I didn't think it was my place. But what I can tell you is that he'll know the difference the next time he sees you."

I then realized that the whole time during this conversation I'd been holding my cuffed wrist with my other hand, grasping on to the lapis bracelet. I slipped it off my wrist and turned it over to look at the "imprint" on the back that now made so much more sense to me. I turned the back of the bracelet toward my mom and aunt. "So that's what this is about."

"He wants you to always carry a reminder with you of his imprinting, his love for you. In whatever form it is in, _love_ is love." My mother took it out of my hands and slipped it back on my wrist. "Where it belongs," she said.

They sat in silence for hours with me, just being my support, physically and emotionally. I laid my head back onto my mother's lap and let her stroke my hair until I fell asleep.

BPOV

What had I ever done to make my baby so insecure? To feel so insignificant? The part that tore at me the most was that her insecurities were about me. How was this possible? My perfect, beautiful, genius daughter was jealous of me? Incomprehensible. Jake had loved me, and tried to win my heart, but his love for me back in Forks was nothing compared to what he would give to Renesmee. I honestly never thought that of all the things she might take issue with, her number one concern would be that she couldn't live up to the love he'd had for me. Ridiculous.

My baby had grown up so fast. It seemed like just last week I was holding her in my arms. Next thing I knew, we were bra shopping. Renesmee had made the whole family closer. They all took equal roles in helping to raise her, and for that, I was grateful. She had been a handful in her "toddler stage." She had gotten into so much mischief. Renesmee had broken a marble statue that Carlisle had bought for Esme for their fortieth anniversary when flinging glow-in-the-dark rubber bands across the house at night with Emmett, and in an attempt to dodge one of Emmett's shots, she ran smack into the statue. There was no way to repair it. She was the kid that was constantly asking "Why?" It was cute, but got old really fast. Edward had been better than I about explaining everything to her in extreme detail. She was like a little sponge. She soaked up every word he said. I loved her craving for knowledge—if only I could have gotten her to love Jane Austen as much as I did when I was her intellectual age.

I was so proud of our daughter. She had grown up so gracefully. She was definitely her father's daughter. The way she looked up to Edward was so beautiful. They shared many of the same passions, and I really loved listening to them play piano to, for, and with each other. They were inseparable. I could only hope that they would remain that way. This was going to be so hard on my husband. He would have been a wreck if he'd seen her face as Alice and I told her about the imprint. His support for Jacob had waned a bit in the weeks prior to her birthday. He knew it was coming, and he insisted that she wasn't ready. More like he wasn't ready, but after speaking with her about the situation, maybe she really _wasn't_ ready.

Jacob had been such a trooper through Renesmee's growing up. He was there for everything. I loved seeing him play such an active role in her upbringing. It had taken some getting used to for me, but now, I really embraced the idea of Jacob imprinting on my baby. I knew from personal experience that this was a man of integrity, honor, and courage. I loved Jacob very much and was so delighted to know that even though I married Edward, Jacob would be in my life forever. This pleased me to no end. The icing on the cake was that I knew that my daughter would be loved. Loved so passionately and completely, the way only Jacob could.

Part of me was glad, though, that she didn't just take the idea and run with it. I wanted her to always question things and to always make sure she had as many options as possible. She would give him a run for his money; that's for sure. Jacob was going to have to be very patient and very understanding—two things I personally knew him to be an expert at. He was going to have to prove to her that his love for her wasn't based on some pack legend; it was based on fate. He was made for her, and without even knowing it, Edward and I made Renesmee for him. She would come around.

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A/N

A MILLION THANKS TO MY AMAZING "PROJECT TEAM BETA" BETAS!

**Nikki Halen**- Thank you again, for all your great notes. You add so much depth to my stories. I love your comments like: "What did so-and-so think about this?" "describe what it looked like." Those are my favorite kind of notes.

**mcsc2008**- The punctuation queen! Not only do you tell me what to fix, but you tell me why. I have learned so much… including what an "Oxford comma" is! :)

Also, a big shout-out to my new friend, awesome author, and magnificent pre-reader, **Content1**. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ HER STORIES, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING FOR THE NEXT WEEK, TAKE A VACATION FROM WORK IF YOU HAVE TO... AND READ THEM! You will thank me later.


	5. The Shift

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.

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CHAPTER 4: THE SHIFT

I was eternally grateful to my mother when she told me Dad wouldn't be home when Aunt Alice, she, and I got home from our trip. I needed time to decompress. While hanging all of my new purchases in the walk-in-closet that Grandma had built for me, I felt hot, salty tears trickle down my face again. How was I ever going to talk to Jake again the way we always had? Everything would be weird now.

The last bag I had to unpack was the tan hanging dress bag from Burberry that housed the beautiful cream colored dress. Now it mocked me. I didn't want to open it. When I'd tried on the dress at the store, I had envisioned wearing it for Jacob in some far off fantasy of mine where he would take me out on a date. I didn't even know what to think about that anymore. Sure, it had been fun to think about when it was theoretical, but now that it was supposed to be a given, I didn't know anymore. I'd never been so confused in my life, and there was only one person I could talk to who truly got me. An "anonymous donation" had been given to his village to enable them with internet access and other modern amenities that they hadn't previously had available. My dad knew how important it was to me to stay in touch with the hybrid that saved my life—just by existing.

I sat down at the computer and began to compose a new e-mail.

….

To: junglecatNahuel (at) gmail. com

Subject: Happy Birthday to me...?

From: halfnhalfNessie (at) me. com

_N,_

_So how come you didn't warn me that being a hybrid can totally suck sometimes? Haha okay, maybe you did. Nahuel, I'm so...so..ahhhhh I don't even know what I am. Annoyed. Frustrated. Sad. Lonely. All of these would totally fit for my current state of mind. Ugh. I miss you. I feel like such a freak sometimes. I'm the only one like me for THOUSANDS of miles. I swear no one understands me like you do. My dad tries, but he'll just never really get it. _

_So guess what?_

_I'm "technically" all womanly now. Who knew? I sure didn't get the memo. _

_AND I just found out that Jacob somehow, by his wolfiness, decided that I was going to be his mate. BACK WHEN I WAS BORN! _

_As much as I love Jake (not in that way, although I think maybe I could at some point), I dunno if he's the person I'm really supposed to be with. My family won't always be able to live within running distance of the reservation, and then what? I'll have to split from them? I can't imagine that. I really can't imagine anything right now. _

_I feel so lost. I don't know what to think or believe in anymore. Nothing is making sense. _

_Just needed to vent._

_R._

….

Getting my emotions out in an email to one of the only people in the world who could understand me, helped. I turned back towards my closet. The dress bag was still mocking me, so I quickly shoved it in the very back of my closet and closed the door. Mature.

I clomped down the spiral stair case to sit next to my mom on the oversized brocade couch in the living room. She was reading an old copy of _Wuthering Heights_.

"I finally finished unpacking," I said, trying to start a conversation.

"I talked to Jake; he says you're not answering your phone. Do you just plan to ignore him for the rest of your life?" she said in a monotone voice without looking up from her book.

I let out a deep sigh in frustration. "I just don't know what to say to him yet."

"Well, you better figure it out soon, because he'll be here tomorrow morning."

"What? He'll be here tomorrow? Why did you do that? I thought you were on my side!"

I was horrified. My heart suddenly began racing a hundred miles an hour. I had no idea what I was going to say to him yet. I didn't know which one of the strategies I'd worked out in my head that I should go with. I could either go in fuming mad and tell him that he had no right to just claim me and that he should know what happens when people assume…or I could act normal, and let him tell me in his own way. I'd listen to what he had to say for himself and just wing it from there. I'd never really been a "wing it" kind of girl, but when had that ever stopped me? I had to start somewhere, and I knew if I asked my family, all but Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose would vote for "wing it."

How was Jacob going to react? Aunt Alice said he'd know next time he saw me. Was he going to pounce on me wolf-style? Would he run away? Would he be disappointed that I was still…me?

"From now on, I'm Switzerland." She still hadn't looked up from her book.

"Well it doesn't seem like it when you're intervening and telling him to come up here." I couldn't believe how she'd betrayed me. My own mother.

"I didn't ask him to. He asked to come to Prince Rupert all on his own. He's my best friend. I'm not going to tell him he can't come. You'll just have to put on your big girl panties and deal with the situation." Her tone was awfully curt.

"Are you mad at me? Did I do something?" I asked her. My mother's tone had startled me. I knew I was being difficult, but no more than usual.

She finally put her book down, looked me in the eyes, and sighed. "No, honey. Not at all. I just know that you guys just need to get it over with. Rip the band aid off. Talk about it. He's still Jake. Nothing has changed." She had a point.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. "I just don't know what to say to him," I said looking straight at my knees and wrapping my arms around my legs even tighter, trying to somehow comfort myself.

Her face immediately softened when she saw my distress. "Let Jake do the talking. All you have to do is listen. You wanted to be wooed, remember? Give him a chance to do that. I know Jake. He'll want to do this right. You have to trust me."

As I was about to respond, Dad walked through the door smelling like bobcat. As he shut the door behind him, he turned to see us sitting on the couch. He paused awkwardly, as if he was assessing the situation, his golden eyes digging into me. He was reading my thoughts, no doubt. In an instant, he ghosted over to me, picked me up off the couch and pulled me in a hug.

"Hey, birthday girl!"

"Dad, my birthday was two days ago," I said with a giggle as I sarcastically rolled my eyes at him.

"Maybe so, but you haven't gotten our presents yet, which means I'm officially extending your birthday through today. Would you like to open your presents now?" His face pulled into a smile that spread nearly from ear to ear. He really loved giving gifts, and he was good at it; he'd had enough practice. He was constantly showering my mom and me with tokens of his affection. Years had gone by, and she still wasn't thrilled about being lavished upon in the way that my dad indulged her. I, on the other hand, never refused a well thought out gift.

"That might be just the kind of distraction I need." I sighed as I hugged my perfect dad again, and he kissed me on the top of my head.

"Bella, love, would you mind going upstairs and grabbing the gifts?"

I was too distracted to even notice that my mom had left the room at vampire speed to fetch the gifts. She was back in an instant with two small boxes beautifully wrapped in shiny silver paper and decorated with soft, black silk ribbon. My mother handed me the skinny box.

"Present number one!" My father was bursting with excitement.

"Intrigue," I replied with a raised eyebrow at my father. I couldn't open the package fast enough for him. I expertly unwrapped the box and opened it to find a small, slim, black linen card-stock envelope engraved in gold that read: "From the office of J. Jenks"

I opened the envelope and found freedom. A driver's license. A driver's license for me, a sixteen year old!

"This is so crazy!" I was ecstatic. "It's even a good picture!"

"Well, I'm so glad you approve of the picture, of all things." My dad chuckled.

"This was the last thing I was expecting! I can't wait! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I squealed as I hugged my parents.

"Bella, why don't you hand our daughter the second gift?"

My mom smiled and held out the box to me, but just as I was about to take it from her, she pulled it away. "Now, this gift comes with conditions. Just remember that," she said.

"Deal!" I squeaked as I grabbed the box out of her hand. I had an idea of what it was and couldn't wait to rip the package open. I quickly untied the ribbon and practically tore the box open to reveal what I was hoping for—car keys. Not just any car keys, Land Rover keys. "No way!" was all I could say to my parents.

"Would you like to take a walk outside?" Dad asked.

"Well, um, yeah, okay." I faked disinterest as I facetiously shrugged my shoulders.

My dad and I ran at inhuman speed out to the garage while my mom walked at a normal pace, just smiling and shaking her head.

"You ready?" he asked me.

"Just open the door already!"

"Emmett, you can raise the garage door now," he said in the direction of the garage. Just as my father said the words, the garage door started to roll up and right in front was a huge black Range Rover Sport with gigantic off-road tires.

"We've made a few Cullen-esque modifications to it," Dad said. "We've replaced the windows with the same grade of glass as was on your mother's old Guardian, and we've added extra steel reinforcements throughout. We have also upgraded the tires so you can take it off-roading with us. Emmett was getting tired of us always taking his car through the mud. I also had your Aunt Rosalie tinker with the top-speed limiter so that it's no longer a hindrance. She also made some other adjustments to your suspension for increased handling.

Like your mother said though, this car comes with conditions. Until we say otherwise, you must always have a member of the family in the car with you at all times." He had that serious "Dad Look" on his face; the one you don't want to mess with.

"Wait, wait! Documentation!" Aunt Alice squealed as she ran up and started snapping pictures with her new digital SLR camera.

"Well, honey, do you like it?" Mom asked.

"I don't have words," I said as I put my hands on her face to show her all the cars I'd ever liked and how this one far exceeded my expectations.

"Don't make your father wait any longer. Will you take him for a drive already?" Mom held out the keys. She knew my father well enough to sense how anxious he was getting.

"Get in, Dad!" I snatched the keys out of my mom's hands and jumped in the driver's seat.

"Take a minute to adjust the mirrors, the seat, the steering wheel…get it all just right," he cautioned as he settled into the passenger's seat. I'd driven his Volvo countless times before. I didn't understand why he seemed so nervous.

"I got it covered, Dad," I said as I buckled my seatbelt.

"Well then, let's hit the road."

"It even smells good in here!" The new-car-scent was a mix of luxurious leather, steel, and the high octane fuel my gear-head Aunt had put in the tank. Everything about the car was perfect. When I turned the car on, the sound system came to life playing the first piano duet that my father and I had ever recorded. I was two years old. It was a duet by Schubert called Marche Militaire. Listening to the old recording made me realize how much better I'd gotten at playing the piano.

"I thought you might want to have some of our recordings in here," Dad said quietly. "I've filled an iPod with all of your favorites so that you'll always have decent music in here." My dad was always so thoughtful. I could see the pride written all over his face as he listened to the recording, reminiscing about the "younger Nessie days."

"Where to, sir?" I said to him as if I was his chauffeur.

"Take a right up here," he said, pointing to a small dirt road just off the end of our driveway. I still couldn't believe they actually bought me a car this year; it seemed unreal. I thought I was going to have to wait at least another year. The car drove beautifully on the rough terrain. Even with the stiffer suspension, the drive was so smooth, and the engine sounded absolutely magnificent. It had a deep growl that reminded me of when my mother almost tried to kill Jake when I was a baby.

As my father guided me through the forest, I kept trying to figure out where he was guiding me. Then after a series of switchbacks up a hill, the road came to an end. We had driven into a clearing outlined by massive skyscraper pine trees on the edge of a rocky cliff that overlooked the raging ocean. The horizon blended with grey sky and made it hard to tell where the sky began and the ocean ended. Absolutely breathtaking. I sat for a minute just listening to the waves methodically crashing into the rocks below.

Dad turned toward me in his seat. "You know, kid, I am so proud of you," he said very seriously as he took my hand and held it in his.

"I know, Daddy. Thanks for the best birthday gift ever. The car is insane. I love it." I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder.

His whole demeanor shifted from pride to worry in an instant. His smile faded, and the light left his eyes, leaving behind a crease between his brows. "Well good. So...how are you? I swear, I thought I was doing right by not telling you about the imprint earlier, but now, I'm not so sure. Your Uncle Emmett thought you should have known for a long time. He was furious with all of us for keeping this from you. He almost told you after your party. We had to promise him that you'd find out the next day."

"I really don't know what to think, Dad. It's all so confusing; I can't seem to wrap my head around it. You, of all people, know that I've been harboring feelings for Jake for a while—but now that it's just a given, I don't know how to react."

"I don't know either, Ness. I feel like I failed you. I should have told you."

I interrupted. "Dad, you were trying to protect me," I said, trying to reassure him.

"I'm so sorry you found out the way you did. I should have been there; I should have eased you into the idea. I promised to always protect you, and I didn't. You say I was trying, but trying isn't good enough" He had his face turned away from me out his window, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose like he always did when he was upset. His tone was so apologetic that it unnerved me.

"I don't think there was really any _right_ way to tell me. Please don't be upset Dad. What's done is done. I'll survive." I squeezed the hand that was still holding mine.

He turned back toward me with tortured eyes. "I can tell Jacob he can't come tomorrow if you want. Do you need more time?"

"Dad, I need to know what you think about all this. What do you think I should do?" He had always been there to help me make every big decision that I'd ever made.

"I can't tell you what you should do, but I can tell you about one of the most honorable men I know. Jacob Black and I haven't always been close. You know the story; I don't need to rehash it. What I can say though is that he has always been there to jump in and save the day when I didn't. He's as loyal as they come, and quite honestly, I can't imagine a better mate for you. He'll love you like I love your mother."

"Okay, so let's just say that I go along with the wolf-spell and mate with Jake. What happens when you and Grandpa look too young for your jobs and the family needs to move? We can't always move within running distance to La Push. I'm just supposed to let the family move on without me? And what if he eventually wants to stop phasing? Then I'll be a widow?"

"I'm sure Jake would figure something out if we had to move. And as long as there are vampires around, I'm pretty sure he won't stop phasing. I don't have all the answers, baby, trust me, I wish I did. I can promise you though, Jake would love you and take care of you. Unconditionally. Isn't that what every girl wants?"

"Yeah, but no matter how irrational it is, no girl wants to have her choice taken away, even if the guy is Mr. Perfect." I let my head fall back and hit the headrest. "In some ways, I feel like I'm being such a baby about this, and in others, I feel like I'm doing the only right thing. Yes, I get it, Jake is kinda great. But don't you think it'd be easier if I married someone in my own species?"

"Well that severely limits your dating pool," he said with a smirk.

"I meant another vampire, Dad." I rolled my eyes.

"Nessie, your mother was a human when I met her and that didn't stop us. What you are doesn't matter when it comes to love. Loving your human mother wasn't easy. Should I have turned away from her?" he said incredulously.

"Touché," I said with a smirk. "I can't imagine how you dealt with the burn, but I'm glad you did."

"Look, I know you don't really want to talk about this anymore, so why don't we just grab a couple elk and head home. You never finished that nocturne composition that I asked you to write. Maybe sitting down and composing will help clear your head," he suggested.

"Yes, teacher," I mocked him as we hopped out of the car. As soon as my feet touched the dirt, I smelled something much more appetizing than elk. I smelled a large grizzly bear. "Have fun with your elk, Dad. I'm going after Winnie the Pooh," I said with a smile.

"Meet you back here in twenty?" my dad said as he took off toward a herd of elk three miles south.

I headed east toward the bear. The smell of his blood was so tangy and sweet that it called to me. I took the bear down in one bound and completely drained him in just a few minutes. I finished my ritual of thanks, brushed the leaves out of my hair, and ran back to my awesome new car at the top of the mountain to meet my dad and drive home. When I arrived at the top, he was already waiting for me, leaning against the Rover like he was James Dean. So annoying.

"The James Dean thing sure works for your mom," he threw at me.

Sometimes I wished I could hit the mute button on my head. "Barf," was all I maturely said in retort.

As the engine roared to life at my turn of the key, I expertly maneuvered us quickly down the mountain.

After parking the Rover, my dad and I entered the house to find the whole family in our living room. Grandma and Aunt Alice were looking over the blueprints sprawled all across the coffee table for Aunt Alice's closet remodel, Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett were cuddling on the couch, and Uncle Jasper and Grandpa were playing chess in the corner of the room by the fire place.

"Don't you all have your own houses?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah well, your Aunt Rosalie isn't the best housekeeper. That's my story and I'm sticking to it," Emmett replied as he untangled himself from my beautiful Aunt. It seemed like she was going to try to refute his claim, but she just rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. She knew it was true. "Actually, can we talk for a minute, sweets?" Uncle Emmett asked me.

"If this is about what I think it's about, I'm all talked out." It seemed all anyone wanted to discuss was Jake.

"Humor your favorite uncle." He turned his head to Uncle Jasper and smiled, taunting him.

"Five minutes," I told him.

"Done. Let's take a walk." He put his gargantuan hand on my back and led me out the door. It was freezing outside, so I'd grabbed my coat on the way out the door, but Uncle Em stood comfortably in the cold in his jeans and t-shirt combo. I was so jealous of my family's tolerance of weather.

"I need to tell you how very sorry I am. I shouldn't have listened to everyone else. I should have told you." This was very unlike my Uncle. He was rarely this emotional. I could always count on him for a wrestling match, but for a heart-felt talk? Never. "I heard you didn't take it well. Of course you didn't. I don't know what they expected." I was about to speak, but he started up again. "I want you to know, Ness, you can count on me. I know I might not always seem like the type for that sort of thing, but your Uncle Em is smarter than he lets on." He put his arm around me. "And I can tell you this, Jake steps out of line or tries to push this on you, you just say the word, and I'll kick his sorry little puppy-dog ass. He'd never see me coming. I can promise you that. You are so important to me, sweets. I've never really told you. I'd do anything for you." My big tough-guy uncle had always been a total marshmallow in my hands.

"Uncle Em, I know that. I've always known you loved me. You think I didn't know that you'd do anything for me? Of course, I know that," I said, linking my arm through his.

"Good. Just, take it slow, okay? There's no rush for anything. You don't have to decide anything anytime soon. You're so young. You've got a whole year supposedly until you'll finish maturing, but that doesn't mean it's your deadline. I just don't want you to think you have to make up your mind so soon. You've got all the time in the world. Never let our pushy family rush you into something. I just want to make sure you're happy. End of story," he said finitely.

I giggled. "You sound like Grandma Renée."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks. It really did make me feel good to hear that you've been trying to get them to tell me for a long time. It's good to know that lying by omission is still considered wrong by someone in this family." I leaned my head on his massive shoulder.

"Let's get you back inside; I've said my piece," he said, grabbing my hand and swirling me back around toward the house.

I spent the rest of the evening working on the nocturne that I was supposed to write. Dad had been right. It did help take my mind off of all of my stress. I had been specifically studying Chopin's Nocturne No. 1 in B-flat Minor, Op. 9-1. It was one of my favorite nocturnes. My dad and I had two approaches to learning about a specific piece of music. The first was to just listen to the whole piece with our eyes closed and just let the notes envelope us. Then we'd discuss how it made us feel: If it moved us or if we had any reaction at all. The other was to scientifically dissect the whole thing note by note. Using methods of music theory, we'd study if it played by the rules, the structure of our favorite section, the composer, and the time it was written. I, personally, liked the first method better, but I learned a lot from my dad when we dissected this specific piece. So much so, that it intimidated me. How would I ever compose a nocturne that would ever be as beautiful?

We had surmised that the piece had a rhythmic freedom that was indicative of Chopin's later works, and that the left hand had a continuous sequence of eighth notes in basic arpeggios throughout the entire piece. All the while, the right hand proceeded in patterns of eleven, twenty, and twenty-two notes. The opening section moved into a contrasting middle, which morphed back to the opening in a transitional passage where the melody floated above seventeen consecutive bars of D-flat major chords. The reprise of the first section grew out of it, and it concluded with a Picardy Third. Nothing I wrote could compare. I gave up for the night and decided to go to bed.

As I was getting ready for bed, I heard the incoming mail message on my computer. I sat down to read it.

….

To: halfnhalfNessie (at) me. com

Subject: Re: Happy Birthday to me...?

From: junglecatNahuel (at) gmail. com

_R._

_I've told you for years how annoying hybrid life can be. I imagine even more so for you than me though. Your family has such high expectations, I'd find that very hard to live up to._

_So… Jake, huh? I have to say, I don't see it. I don't think he's right for you, Renesmee. First of all, those wolves might seem all cuddly, but they have terrible tempers. I just think you'd be better suited with someone who understands the world in which you live just a little bit better. We might technically be half human, but let's be honest, we're much more vampire than human. We're pretty much vampires with heartbeats. I think you need someone who will not only understand the pressures of such an existence, but be able to live it with you. How can a Native American Shape-shifter do that? I just want you to be happy. I'm worried that as much as he would try, there would still be something lacking for you. _

_Anyway, you know I'm always here for you. BTW, happy birthday. I put a little something in the mail for you. Hopefully you'll get it in the next few days. _

_N._

….

Maybe Nahuel had a point. It was something I at least needed to take into account. My family sure didn't think it was an issue though. Why were they all so sure that Jake was right for me? Nahuel made an excellent point. I really was more vampire than human. Would Jake really be able to be the best mate for me? I had always envisioned myself mating with a vampire or hybrid—except for those times where I fantasized about Jake. And what if I could have children? Grandpa Carlisle and I had spent countless hours in labs and in his study trying to figure it out. Would I have puppies? What would our children be like? The thought was terrifying. Maybe Aunt Rose would be able to give me a little less biased opinion on the situation. She and Jake still weren't close. Maybe she wouldn't be so gung-ho about this as the rest of my family.

My mom knocked on the door. "Come in."

"Ready for bed?"

"Yeah, sleep sounds like a good idea," I said as I closed my MacBook Pro and walked over to my bed. I slid under the covers and immediately started to feel the weight from the day start to dissipate.

My mom tucked me in bed like she did almost every night. "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!" she said as she closed the door. I forced my eyes to shut, and eventually, sleep came.

I woke to the sound of Aunt A's _Shave and a Haircut _knock on my door. I sat up to greet her as she poked her head in.

"Morning, Ness. Jake will be here in an hour. Just thought you'd want to know."

"Yeah, great, thanks," I said with zero enthusiasm.

I flopped my head back on my pillow, begging for a few more seconds of sleep. I knew it was futile, but minutes after I woke up, I was allowed to act my actual age. I was not a morning person. I finally rolled out of bed and walked over to my en-suite bathroom. The vanity area had shaggy lavender carpet that I picked out and Grandma had installed as a birthday present last year. She had remodeled my whole bathroom and closet as a gift to me for my fifth birthday; it was heavenly. I loved the feel of the soft, high pile carpet on my feet in the morning. I began brushing my teeth and almost choked when I glanced in the mirror. Jake will be here in an hour? I had to get cleaned up—and fast. My curls were no longer curls. I had one big ball of frizz where my hair was supposed to be. There was no way I could rectify the situation on my head without a shower. I finished brushing my teeth and stripped off my pajamas, leaving a trail from my sink to the glass enclosed steam shower. The shower area was designed completely in glossy white subway tiles and slate grey walls. Grandma had all but insisted on white marble, but I liked the shiny geometric pattern of the subway tile better. It looked so clean and pristine. The heated river-rock shower floor was always soothing on my feet as I quickly shampooed and conditioned my hair. I shaved as quickly as I could and was out of the shower in an impressive four minutes. I might have set a record for the fastest lady Cullen shower ever.

I threw on my robe and started searching for the curl cream that Aunt A had bought me months ago but I never used. I finally found it—in the back of a drawer filled with samples of beauty products from all the hotels I'd been to—and worked a few dollops into my damp curls. I wanted my hair to be perfect. After using the diffuser to dry my hair, I channeled my Aunt Rose for makeup skills. I was recreating what she called the "I look fantastic and didn't try but really did" look. The whole point was to apply the makeup to look like you didn't have any on. A little bone and mauve colored eyeshadow, a thin streak of brown eyeliner, and one coat of mascara on curled eyelashes. I finished with a light pink gloss. As I put the gloss back in the drawer, I surveyed myself in the mirror. _Not bad_, I thought. I walked into my closet purposefully looking for the jeans that made my butt look good. I threw on my new charcoal Marlowe cashmere sweater with dolman sleeves, added a royal blue scarf, and put on a pair of black Jimmy Choo motorcycle boots. I took one more look at the finished product and was pleased. I looked good, but not so good that it was obviously calculated. I was becoming more and more like my Aunt Alice every day, much to my mother's chagrin.

Downstairs was a zoo. Everyone had congregated at our house again. They all wanted front-row tickets to the _Jake and Nessie Show_. Aunt A appeared at my side as soon as my feet hit the bottom stair.

"Great job with the outfit. When I finally saw what you had chosen a few minutes ago, I was totally impressed. I was waiting to see if you needed help, but I should have known that you'd stand and deliver! You've really got an eye for this kind of thing. You look so chic and casual," my energetic aunt trilled.

I had to laugh. "That's exactly what I was going for!"

"Momma's so proud," she said sarcastically with her fingers laced together, raised to her cheek.

"Oh, quit it." I shook my head and smiled at my aunt.

She rolled her eyes in classic Aunt A style and walked out the door to meet Jake, I assumed.

"You wanna do this alone, or do you want company?" Dad asked as he squeezed me in a hug.

"I got it. I'm not sure what I'm going to say yet, but I want to handle it alone."

"Well, you won't be alone, I'll be listening and your Uncle Jasper will be sending calming vibes. You're too young to be completely without a chaperone yet." For a moment, I thought he was joking. Nope. No joke. He was dead serious.

"I've been alone with Jake for long periods of time ever since I was born. But now that the wolf is out of the bag, so to say, you don't trust us anymore?" I thought he was being irrational. I felt more irritated by the minute. Everything had changed. I couldn't even be alone with him? What did they think was going to happen?

"It's not about trust. It's about what's appropriate, and, well, the main reason is that I'm an overprotective dad, and I have every right to be, so get over it," he said without an ounce of sarcasm in his voice.

Aunt Alice walked back into the house at human speed and waved me over to her. "He's outside. He's all excited to see your Rover. I told him you'd be right there."

"I guess that's my totally awkward and not at all intimidating cue," I replied as I looked at my aunt for a bit of reassurance.

"You'll be fine. Just go easy on him," my fairy-like aunt said to me.

"And remember," Uncle Emmett said with a smile as he balled his right hand into a fist and slammed it into his open left hand, "you just say the word." I winked at him and turned to leave.

Just before I was out the door, I turned around to face my family one more time to save this memory to my brain's long term storage files. "Thanks for the help, Uncle Jazz." I knew my calm state of mind was his doing. And with that, I went out to face my impending doom.

I made my way around the back of the house toward the garage.

Just as I rounded the corner to meet him, Jake said, "What took you so long, Ness? I'm dying to see the Rover! Your dad told me all about it a few weeks…" His voice trailed off. He looked completely flabbergasted. _Do I keep walking forward, or do I freeze?_ I thought.

I decided to be bold. I walked straight up to him and gave him a hug. I was supposed to be acting normal, right? He hugged me back very tightly and deliberately, and then he slowly put his heavy hands on my waist and separated us. _Oh, please don't let those be tears in his eyes. _

"Oh," was all that he was able to get out.

"You okay?" He looked so thrown off his axis. I had no idea what to do.

"Yeah, I'm…I'm fine. Great actually, just a little…" he couldn't string a full sentence together, "…surprised I guess. I thought I had more time."

"More time?"

"Uh, yeah." He turned away from me to face the garage. "You gonna show me the car or what?"

"Sure!" I said as I pressed the garage door opener. It seemed to open slower than usual, but then again, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, accentuating the awkward silence. "So, it's the 2012 Range Rover Sport, but more Cullen I guess. The huge off-road tires are kinda nuts, but they're not as crazy as having missile-proof glass. I swear they did that just despite me. There's no reason for it." I was rambling to fill the silence.

He was staring blankly at the car. "It's pretty sick." Eloquence was not one of his strong suits.

"Want to take it for a drive?" I asked.

His head jerked up. "I'll drive." It was like his whole demeanor changed. He was all of a sudden on a mission. I tossed him the keys, and he walked around to open the passenger side door for me.

Seconds later, we were out of the garage, making our way toward the dirt road that led into the forest. He didn't speak, and I didn't know if I should, so we sat in the quiet. Jake and I had never had awkward silences before. Most of the time we were always blathering about something, but when it was quiet, it was never uncomfortable; it was peaceful.

I wasn't really paying attention anymore to where he was going; I was lost in the insecurities dominating my brain. After a short time, Jake brought the car to a stop and through the dense fog, I finally realized where we were. We had claimed this as "our spot" three years ago when we moved to Prince Rupert. We had carved a bench out of a large boulder facing a small opening in the edge of the forest that overlooked the calm frigid waters of Prince Rupert's coast. It was where we always came to talk about something serious.

The last time we had been here, I cried on his shoulder for two solid hours without having to say a word. I had been upset from hearing Grandpa whisper to Grandma that he'd received correspondence from Aro, who was asking about my progress, and that he'd love for our family to visit him in Italy. I was so worried that Aro was going to find a way to coerce my family to visit Volterra and then never let us leave, forcing us to join the guard. I had a dramatic imagination. Jacob had listened and consoled me. He reassured me that my dad and my grandpa would never let that happen, and if it did, Jake would find a way to rescue me. He promised.

"Wanna go sit?" he asked breaking the stillness. I nodded and got out of the car to sit on our bench by the clearing. He sat as far away from me on the bench as possible and turned to face me.

"We need to talk," he said as he put his elbows on his knees, and lowered his head, staring blankly down at the brown pine needles between his feet. His low voice wavered making him seem nervous.

"Shoot," I said as I crossed my legs and bent my head toward him, trying to get him to make eye-contact with me. I was unsuccessful.

"I'm not sure where to start. Um, you know how Quil is constantly babysitting Claire?

"Sure."

"Okay, well there's a reason Quil is practically glued to her hip. Quil loves her. Not like that, but he loves her none the less." He paused for me to give some sort of clue that I was following.

"He loves her like a brother would love his little sister." I said but knew what he was getting at. I had assumed after being let in on the secret that Quil had imprinted on Claire. It only made sense.

"Yeah, pretty much. Although not forever. I mean, it won't be a sibling type love forever. At some point, when she's much older, probably like, I dunno, seventeen or so, his love will grow into something more." He paused again looking for my cue to continue.

"Alright, so I'm not good with analogies." He hesitated once again. Then, as if he'd just gotten a heap full of courage from Uncle Jasper, he picked his head up to look at me with his big, brown, kind eyes. He positioned his body more in my direction and started again. "Here it is, Nessie. I love you. I've loved you since the day you were born. You changed my whole life. My main directive as a man and as a Quileute wolf, is to protect you, care for you and love you. Everything else in my life is secondary. Your wants, needs and desires will always take precedence."

Wow. And there it was…everything that terrified me and made my heart flutter all at once. "I really don't understand." It was only a half lie, but I wanted him to clarify.

"Yeah, I didn't expect you to." He looked away, almost embarrassed. "Some of the Quileutes that shape-shift have something extraordinary happen to them. I had always thought it was stupid and was glad that it didn't happen to me, but then it did happen, and I wouldn't take it back for anything. Please understand though, imprinting—that's what we call it—it's involuntary. We don't choose it; it just happens. If you would have asked teenage Quil if he wanted to imprint on a two-year-old, he would have laughed in your face. You've seen them together though. He's happy, and he makes Claire happy. I'm happy, and I hope I make you happy, too. Nessie, I know this is crazy, and I'm sorry for springing this on you. I can't imagine how freaked you must be." He turned his body to face straight ahead toward the water again, but I caught his eyes glancing over at me.

"Are you saying that you're starting to have feelings for me?'

"Nessie." He cocked his head in my direction to look straight at me, his face turned soft, and he let out a big Jacob sigh. "I love you. I never knew love could feel like this. I will spend my entire life just trying to bring you joy because your smile fuels me. I know this all sounds completely ridiculous to you. I must sound like an obsessed pedophile to you." His eyes showed fear as his hands were digging into his legs. I hated that he was torturing himself so much.

"Oh, shut up," I soothed. "I know you better than that. But you're right. I'm totally freaked."

"Maybe Emily would be a good person for you to talk to. She and Sam are imprinted. I'd say talk to Rachel, because she and Paul are imprinted too, but he's still such an ass. Who knows what she has to put up with."

"Do I have a choice in this? You're talking like I'm just going to jump right in and be your girlfriend or something."

That startled him. "Well yeah, sure you have a choice. Do you not feel it too?" His expression became worried, and I could hear his heart starting to beat faster.

"That's not the point," I said in an obstinate tone with my lips pursed into a straight line.

"That's not an answer." His mouth started to curl into a smile. He could read me like a book.

"Very observant, but I'm not ready to answer that. Obviously, I love you. You're my best friend. Do I like the idea that my future has been planned for me without my consent? No." I folded my arms across my chest and huffed.

"It's not like that. I haven't planned anything." he stuttered. He scooted closer to me on the bench and timidly put his hand on my shoulder. His eyes searched mine for the answer he was looking for.

There was a long silence. Now I was the one staring forward with my elbows on my knees, and he was faced toward me with his hand still steady on my shoulder. I just wanted everything to go back to normal. I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn't ignore how much the whole situation bothered me.

He started back up again. "What is it, Nessie? You seem so upset, which, you know, I understand, but what can I do to help? What about all of this is making you so unsure?" I could tell the second he finished asking that he was unsure if he really wanted the answer.

I sighed and picked my head up to look at him. "I don't like that this is just the way it's supposed to be. I want you to have to win me over. I want to be wooed. I want romance. Nothing about being told 'This is your mate; this is the way it is' is romantic. I want all the excitement that comes with that."

"You'll have that. I wouldn't dream of denying you that," he said so quietly with a pinch of hurt in his voice. "I wouldn't want to take that experience away from you. I can do those things. I promise." The quiet urgency in his voice made him sound as if he was pleading.

I tried to change the course of the conversation a little. I hated seeing him in that tortured state. "Have you discussed this with my parents? You can be sure my dad won't just hand me over. He'll be very strict with you about this."

"Yeah, we've talked quite a bit about it actually. We've had a few years." He almost cracked a smile. "We haven't really gone over the specifics of _this_ part though."

_Dad! I'm ready for some assistance please!_ I said in my head, knowing he was listening. I knew Dad and Uncle Jasper had stayed close by to keep their eyes on things. He would have killed my mom if she had tried to shield me during this. Jake and I heard the trees rustle, and less than thirty seconds after I'd silently beckoned my father, he was at my side.

"There will be rules," he said authoritatively. "Jacob, I am no longer your friend; I am officially the very scary vampire father of the girl whose heart you're trying to win. Fear me. You hurt her in any way, and Emmett and I will show you what it feels like to have your limbs ripped off." He was very proud of his little speech so far; Mom even told me later on that he'd practiced. Dad wanted to channel as much Grandpa Charlie as possible.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Yes, sir," Jacob said to my father.

"Rule number one: You are to court her. If you are unfamiliar with that word, look it up, pup. You are vying for my daughter, as such, you have to prove to her that you are worthy of her affection."

"Fair enough," Jacob said feigning confidence, but I could tell he was getting worried.

"Rule number two: You may not be alone with her unsupervised until I say otherwise. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir." He nodded his head in obedience.

"Rule number three: You are not permitted to kiss her until she asks," my father said with a meaningful and half-way suspicious look.

"I can do that." Jake sat up straight and smiled a little, almost looking cocky.

"Rule number four: You are never to cancel on her. You do not want to find out what will happen if you do."

"I've never canceled on Nessie. What makes you think I'm going to start now?" He furrowed his brow looking upset.

"Let's keep it that way, pup. Rule number five: If she refuses your attempts to win her heart, for a year, you must accept defeat and be a man. At which time, you may not interfere with her pursuits elsewhere."

"Understood," Jake said, almost mimicking my father's assertiveness. He stood and put his hand out for my dad to shake in a "game on" kind of way.

_Go Dad! You tell him!_ I thought to my father. He winked at me.

"I'll step back into the trees to give the two of you the illusion of privacy for a bit longer."

"Gee, thanks," Jacob said. My dad ignored the snide remark. "Ness, I can make you happy. That's the thing about imprinting. I've been totally re-wired to concern myself only with your care."

"And that's my problem with this whole thing. It's not you wanting to do it, it's the imprint. Look, Jake, I'll be honest. I feel it too, but is it real, or is it just because of the imprint? I don't want to be loved out of obligation, and I'm certainly not going to love someone just because I'm supposed to," I said through pursed lips.

"I understand completely, Nessie, and that's the reason your dad wants me to court you. I need to win your heart just like any other man would." I was glad he and I seemed to be on the same page.

"Can I ask you a question that you won't like?" I asked him.

"Well, this sounds promising, but sure." His face looked quizzical.

"If you hadn't imprinted on me, would you still be in love with my mother?" The question was almost painful for me to get out, but it had been weighing on me ever since I had been told about the imprint.

"Jeez, Ness. Honestly, I guess I can't say for sure. The point is that I haven't felt that way about her in over six years. I didn't know what love was until you—and that's not the imprint talking, that's the truth. From me, Nessie. I swear." He stood up from the bench and started pacing. It was obvious my query had upset him. He was obviously being sincere.

After a moment of silence I started again. "I'm afraid you'll start wishing that I was more like her," I said barely above a whisper. I couldn't look him in the eye, so I just fidgeted with my scarf.

He turned back toward me and knelt down to my eye level, resting his hands on my knees. "Nessie, you have to trust me on this. What I felt for your mom back when she was in high school couldn't hold a candle to how I feel for you. Now that I know what it's supposed to feel like, my old feelings for her wouldn't even be a blip on the radar."

"You're full of analogies." I said sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood a little. "Let's say I give in. What happens when we have to move again? I can't leave my family, and you can't leave the pack."

Still knelt in front of me, he brushed a stray tendril behind my ear and spoke. "I told you, Nessie; you are my first priority. We would figure it out. There would be options. I would never leave you, and I'd never ask you to leave your family." His warm voice was so comforting. I all but melted right then and there. _Stay strong,_ I had to say to myself. The fact that he would leave his pack for me as a little disconcerting though. I didn't know how I would feel about that. What would they do without him? _One step at a time, Nessie._

"You know that Grandpa is unsure about my reproductive ability, right?" I asked.

He stood to sit next to me again, but this time—a lot closer. "What makes you think that would deter me? If you can, that's wonderful, but if you can't, then that's okay too. That's a lot more nights of uninterrupted sleeping. Rumor has it that babies cry a lot." He cracked a smile and showed a glimmer of humor in his eyes.

"I've heard that too." It was a good sign that we were starting to joke again.

"Look, I get that this has all just been dumped upon you, so let's take this whole thing really slow, 'kay?" He said, starting to show the old Jacob face that I'd grown to know.

I had a feeling Jake was starting to worry that I was going to bolt. "Slow is good, but Jake, I can't promise you anything. I just don't know how to handle this yet. I almost want to just forget about the imprint entirely and just see what happens when we leave out all of the mystical wolf mating stuff and just be normal people."

He thought hard for a second and then spoke with an eyebrow raised at me. "Neither of us are very normal, Ness." I couldn't tell if that was supposed to be funny or not.

"You know what I mean. This goes for you too. You have to figure out whether you actually like me for me, or if it's because of something else."

He casually put his arm around me as he had done a thousand times before. "Yes, I do know what you mean. I promise to try to make this as normal as possible. Boy meets girl, boy pursues girl. I can do that." He grinned.

"Thanks." I rested my head on his shoulder. We sat in silence like that for over an hour, not as awkward, but not completely back to normal yet either. Maybe we could eventually get back to that normalcy I knew I was going to miss during this whole mess.

As he drove me back, he detailed the story of Sam and Emily to me. He told me about how Sam and Leah really had something special, and that they both were happy, but then he met Emily and couldn't help it. Emily didn't want to hurt Leah either. She hated that she had just taken away Leah's happiness—but what could Emily do? Sam was her other half. Jacob was right; I was going to have to talk to her. Maybe she would understand how I felt.

Jasper's POV

Throughout the whole day, I didn't know who to pity more, Nessie, Edward or Jake. They were all such emotional nightmares. Nessie, though, thought she had it the worst. She kept alternating back and forth between fear, betrayal and uncertainty. My poor niece was so confused. I was going to have to figure out a way to help her cope with her emotions. I couldn't always step in and do it for her. We would have to work on some relaxation techniques. Our girl was going to need them.

I had mostly agreed with Emmett about this whole thing. I thought she should have known sooner rather than later, but I understood where Edward was coming from. His love for Nessie was unlike any fatherly love I'd felt before. His level of dedication and adoration for his daughter was unprecedented. My brother might have faltered during hard times in the past, but we had all helped him to prepare for the moment that Jake would want to start to pursue our girl.

He was a mess after Nessie left to go meet with Jake. He was mostly just fearful of how Nessie would feel about the situation. He was ready at any moment to swoop in like a hawk and get her to safety. Not that Jake was dangerous, but we worried that Nessie wouldn't feel comfortable around him at this point. I was very proud of him as he approached Jake about the rules that we'd all help him come up with. He was a wreck on the inside, but he was able to hide his emotions long enough to come off stern, assertive and steady, just like Charlie had. That had been Edward's goal. He had always admired Charlie's intent to protect Bella and ability to incite a bit of fear into any boy who crossed her path. Edward wanted to project the same.

Although Nessie might have thought that she'd had the hardest time, Jake had anguished tenfold more than Nessie and Edward combined. There he was, all unassuming and ill-prepared, then in an instant, his whole world changed. He thought he had a whole other year to ready himself for the shift in their relationship. All of a sudden, the poor guy was having all of these new feelings rush around inside his head. He had no idea what to do with any of them. His emotions ran the whole gamut from surprise, fear, shame, joy, love, worry and resolve. Edward replayed the whole conversation that Nessie and Jake had in the woods. He'd given a pretty good speech, all while keeping part of himself ever concerned for her well-being. Jake was an amazing man. He was a better man than he allowed himself to believe. Jake and I had spoken quite frequently over the past few years about how he was dealing with the imprint and how he was going to feel when Nessie matured. I had grown to really respect Jake. He was a lot better than we had originally given him credit for. We were all going to get through this just fine. Jake was going to make a fine mate for Nessie. She just had to realize it.

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Nessie's favorite Nocturne can be heard here: http: / www. youtube. com/ watch?v= rNT7GWGSeOU (take out the spaces)

A/N

**Please review! I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear your thoughts! :)**

A MILLION THANKS TO MY AMAZING "PROJECT TEAM BETA" BETAS!

**Nikki Halen**- Thank you again, for all your great notes. You add so much depth to my stories. I love your comments like: "What did so-and-so think about this?" "describe what it looked like." Those are my favorite kind of notes.

**Jenrosee**- My grammar goddess. Lady, you rock. Seriously. :) I'm sorry that comma splices make you sad. ;) I'm working on it!

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	6. Letters

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.

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CHAPTER 5: LETTERS

….

To: halfnhalfNessie (at) me. com

Subject: Talk to me, Nessie.

Date: September 16, 2011

From: AlphamaleJB (at) me. com

_Nessie,_

_You haven't been returning my phone calls. I know you're confused… but it's killing me to not have any communication with you._

_Will you please call me?_

_-Jake_

….

….

To: halfnhalfNessie (at) me. com

Subject: Talk to me, Nessie.

Date: September 17, 2011

From: AlphamaleJB (at) me. com

_Nessie,_

_I'm not sure what you're wanting me to say. This is as awkward and difficult for you as it is for me. Trust me._

_-Jake_

….

….

To: halfnhalfNessie (at) me. com

Subject: Talk to me, Nessie.

Date: Sept 18, 2011

From: AlphamaleJB (at) me. com

_I heard you the other day. You want to be wooed. I can do that. Give me a chance to show you._

_Nessie, imprint or not, you are the most stunning creature in the world. I am in awe of you every time I'm with you. Nessie, you are the most complex and fascinating person. I know that sounds weird, but I swear it's a good thing. You are always surprising me. Your beauty is something only reserved for fairy tales. Okay, so I'm not good at the cheesy stuff, I'll work on it, I promise._

_Remember the sculpture I made you for your birthday last year? That's how I see you. You're the beautiful princess, and I'm the wolf, just ecstatic to be at your side. I'm not good at this part; I'll be the first to admit it. I promise to be better in person. I'm a C+ writer at best. _

_-Jake_

I'd read the emails at least twenty times. I was glad that he was emailing, texting, and calling me, but I wasn't ready to talk yet. I didn't know what to say, mostly because my feelings for him were intensifying by the hour. Maybe it was just an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing, and it had been a few days, but I really missed him. I was rebelling against it—or at least trying to. I wasn't ready to give in to the imprint. I just couldn't handle the idea of not having a choice anymore. I knew why I was having feelings for him, and it wasn't just a school girl crush. I was having very deep, longing feelings for Jake, and it might have all been because of some Native American wolf-spell. Not my ideal situation. I knew I couldn't ignore him for too much longer, but the past few days had just been too overwhelming. I'd spent practically the whole time throwing myself into my school work. I'd learned all about the BMW "inline six," the Louisiana Purchase, and I'd started studying for the MCATs; just for fun. I wanted to make sure that the next time I saw Jake I was prepared and open-minded, so Uncle Jasper and I had also been working on some relaxation techniques that he'd picked up over the years. So far, they'd been really helpful since I'd been so stressed.

I also tried to get advice from other members in the family. Aunt Alice wasn't as much help as I hoped she'd be. Even though she'd been working tirelessly with my dad on expanding her gift to see me and Jake, it wasn't perfect. Aunt A could see me pretty clearly most of the time now. She said I was like an AM radio station in which you could get reception most of the time, just never as clear as FM. Jake was another story. She had a very hard time seeing Jake with any real clarity. She couldn't "see" him per se, but she could get a decent sense of his decisions since she'd spent so much time with him. She could see a "fuzzy spot," as she called it, of Jake in other people's futures, where as before, their futures would just go blank. "He reminds me of the Peanuts character Pig Pen—he's there, but just kinda fuzzy," Aunt Alice had said about her visions of Jake. It was a work in progress. Her only real advice to me was just to give Jake a chance.

I had called Aunt Rose to come over for some "girl time," and she'd cleared her whole afternoon for me. I needed to talk to someone who was a little less biased on the matter. She was late…as always. Aunt Rose had no sense of time, and never really concerned herself with keeping to any sort of schedule. We were all on her time. I was waiting for her in the living room watching re-runs of Saved by the Bell when she finally walked in the house.

"Let the 'Girl Time' commence!" she said with an overly enthusiastic tone as she made her grand entrance. She had a thing for entrances. Aunt Rose's long yellow jersey maxi dress seemed to have been perfectly dyed to match her golden hair. She carried a j'adore Dior tote bag that was chock-full of beauty products in one hand, and a stack of "chick magazines," as Uncle Emmett called them, in the other. "Let's take this madness up to your room. It's cozier up there."

As she plopped down on my California king sized bed, toe separators and scarlet Chanel nail polish flew out of the tote bag.

"Spa day?" I asked, getting excited for a bit of pampering.

"Well, I figured we could do a bit of everything," she said as she held up her American Express card. "Alice can't be the only one to have fun buying you stuff! It's my turn. I figured we could look through these—" she said, pointing to the September issues of Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, W magazine, and InStyle, "—and make the Canada Post man feel special. We haven't had anything new delivered in a few weeks. He's probably worried," she said sarcastically and winked at me.

"Sounds like a plan!" That offer might have been turned down by my mother, but this sounded like a pretty good day to me.

"I'll start your pedicure as you look through Vogue to see what Miss Wintour has picked out for us this season," she said while digging through her tote for the nail polish remover.

I propped some pillows against my headboard and got situated for the pamper session. Aunt Rose handed me the thick September issue of Vogue, grabbed my left foot and began her work. I flipped through the pages not really paying attention to any of it. I realized that after thirty five pages, that I hadn't really seen a single thing on the pages. I feigned interest as long as I could and finally closed the magazine and let it drop on my lap.

"Finished already?" she asked.

"I can't concentrate on this stuff right now. My head is just too full of Jake stuff." I couldn't make eye contact with her. It was too embarrassing. I should have been able to compartmentalize and just have fun with Aunt Rose, but I just couldn't do it.

"We can talk about it if you want. I figured you were all talked out. That's why I brought so much stuff for us to do to fill the time." She gestured to the fashion magazines. Aunt Rose might have been cold and closed off to the rest of the family, but she was never like that with me. I was the only one besides Uncle Emmett that ever saw the loving side of Aunt Rose. She and I had a special bond.

"I appreciate that, really I do, but I need to talk to you about it. I don't know who else in the family will really listen."

"Oh honey, we all love you and will always listen to you. We are all on your side. But yes, you know I'm always here for you." Her face turned soft and her amber eyes that always exuded confidence and a bit of pretentiousness relaxed into a concerned expression. "I'll finish your nails while we talk." She gave me a reassuring smile and brushed the last stroke of top coat onto my toes at lightning speed.

"I just feel lost." I dropped my head back and let it rest on my tufted velvet headboard. "Everyone is expecting me to just go along with this. I don't get how everyone can be so cavalier about it. This is my life we're talking about! I'm just supposed to give up every opportunity and just go for Jake?"

"First of all, let's not be so dramatic. No one just expects you to take the idea and run with it. You most certainly know I don't." She didn't look up as she perfectly painted my nails in a bright crimson. "We just need to talk it out a little. We'll figure this out, Nessie girl." She finished my nails and sat next to me on my bed, leaning her perfect blonde hair against the headboard. "Here's the thing though: Do you think I met every man in the world before I decided your Uncle Emmett was the man for me? Sure, I'd dated a few—" she said, staring off into space with a bit of a smirk on her face, "—one in particular got what he deserved." She shut her eyes as if trying to drown out the memory and turned her head towards me, slowly opened her eyes, and pursed her lips. "I would give anything to have met Emmett first. To not have suffered. Emmett knew my past and loved me still. That's a real man. Nessie, I didn't choose to love him; love chose us." She put her arm around me and gave a warm smile. "That big stinky dog might annoy the crap out of me sometimes, but I have to tell you, he's not all bad. I remember the way he would watch you sleep as a baby. He was in love with you even back then. We all saw it. I'm not telling you to just give up the fight and give in to him, but I am telling you that he would be good to you. Until you know what it's like to be violated by a man, I don't think you could ever fully comprehend how rare the Jakes of this world are."

"What bothers me, though, is just the idea that this doesn't seem like love to me; it seems like just some wolf thing that chose the two of us."

"But isn't that "wolf thing" love? I think you just need to relax a little. Stop taking this all so seriously right now. Just forget about the imprint and let Fido take you on a date. See what happens. How he treats you. Stop fighting your heart." Then she looked at me with a smirk and shook her head. "You know your father did the same thing, he fought it for months then let go and fought it again, but he didn't win now did he?" she rolled her eyes, as Dad sarcastically growled from downstairs. She shrugged her shoulders. He was such an eavesdropper. "You might realize that the whole wet dog smell thing turns you on!" She jabbed my ribs with her elbow and winked at me.

"You're not going to tell me you think he's wrong for me, even just a little? Don't you think it'd be easier if I mated with a vampire?"

"Nobody will ever be good enough for you, but just because I don't want to become best friends with the guy doesn't mean I don't think he would do everything in his power to make you happy. I've seen how he acts around you. He's putty in your hands. Always has been," she said sincerely.

I let out a long sigh. "So you're pretty much telling me the same thing everyone else is."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Nessie girl. Look, if you need some advice, don't you think you should just call Emily?" She was right.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to call her."

"You mean you've been stalling so you don't have to make a decision." Aunt Rose knew me like a book. Both of my Aunts had the guilt thing down pat.

"I'll call her."

"She's the best person to give you advice. I'm sorry I can't be of more help, but I really think I've said all that I can say. No one will ever be perfect and everyone has their flaws, but when you find that someone who truly loves you for who you are—that's something special." If Aunt Rose could cry, I think she would have. I didn't have to be Uncle Jasper to feel the tenderness pouring out of her as she spoke to me.

"Can I call Emily from your house? I don't want a certain nosey father hearing everything."

"It's the least I can do," she said with a smile as she draped her arm around my shoulders. "He's the nosiest person I know," she exclaimed in his direction.

We packed up all the beauty supplies and headed over to "The Love Palace" as Uncle Emmett grossly called it. The house was much larger and extravagant than the rest of our houses, but then again, that was Aunt Rose and Uncle Em's taste. The house sat farther back in the trees, which made it all the more amazing when you finally reached the English Tudor style house from the long driveway.

The interior of their house was more opulent than even the exterior suggested. A palate of white, green, and yellow was used throughout the house in a Hollywood Regency style of decor. The only thing that stood out as not fitting was a massive taxidermy grizzly bear in the entry way. I always thought it was silly and ironic, but my uncle loved it.

We climbed the white spiral staircase and entered through double doors into the master bedroom fit for royalty. The huge black wrought iron four-post bed with black silk sheets took up the majority of the room. Black leather, animal print wallpaper, and original Florentine Renaissance paintings adorned the walls. Off the side of the bedroom was a contrastingly bright sitting room with a large bay window decorated with a mirrored vanity and a Kelly green chaise.

"Why don't you make yourself comfortable on the chaise by window, and I'll bring you a little something to eat," she said with a smile as she exited the room to give me privacy on the call. Aunt Rose had amazing maternal instincts. She loved to play "Mom" with me but "Momma Rose" spoiled me, so I was not one to complain.

I sat down onto the chaise and stared at a Botticelli painting hanging across from me in an overly ornate gold frame on the wall. I knew I was stalling. I finally took my phone out of my pocket and found Emily's number, and after a moment of hesitation, I pressed the call button.

One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Great. I'm going to go to voicemail. Right when I thought I'd hear her voicemail message, she picked up.

"I thought you'd never call," she said in an exasperated tone.

"Yeah, me too," I said with a weak half laugh.

"Jake told me days ago about what happened. I hate that it went down like that. How are you? He's freaked out and thinks you hate him." She was trying to use guilt on me too. It was working, though she's practically part of the pack, of course she'd be on Jake's side.

"He thinks I hate him?"

"Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little, but he thinks you're really mad. Are you mad?"

"I'm not sure if 'mad' is the correct word, but I'm confused, and upset, and frustrated. I could never be mad at Jake."

"Okay, so let's talk. What are you so confused, upset, and frustrated about?" she asked, obviously concerned.

"Everything," I huffed. "Emily, were you just okay that Sam pretty much just told you that you were going to be stuck with him forever?"

"Ness, it wasn't like that. I felt the imprint's influence instantly too. That's where I think you're having your problems, Nessie. You're upset because he imprinted on you as a baby. Sam didn't imprint on me until we were a lot older, so we were able to have other experiences. What I think you're not seeing though is how lucky you are. You got your "right" man from the beginning! Dating really sucks, trust me. Especially when you know that no one will compare to Jake—and no one will. Love will happen when it's right, and it's right for the two of you. Don't you see that? I can tell you that Sam is so divinely perfect for me. I can't imagine what my life would be like without him. We were made for each other, plain and simple."

"You're missing my problem. You were able to choose him too. You felt the imprint and chose him back. You were an adult, and were able to know what you wanted, and realized that Sam was right for you. I won't have that opportunity if I just give in to Jake. How will I know?"

"Don't you already know? Aren't you just running from it?"

Was she right? Did I really know that Jake was perfect for me? Was I just being a child wanting to rebel?

"I'm not sure, Emily. Something about this just doesn't feel right for me. Didn't it feel right for you from the beginning?"

"Yeah, but again, it happened instantaneously with us; you've had your whole life to let it simmer. It was hard at the beginning because of Leah, neither of us wanted to hurt her, but we knew that no matter how badly we didn't want to hurt Leah, Sam and I were supposed to be together. We couldn't help but be together. Do you remember how nuts you were about him when you were a baby? You wouldn't leave his side! If you weren't in his arms, you wanted to know where he was, and when he was coming back."

"Of course I remember."

"You need to let yourself feel like that again." She was starting to sound like a couple's therapist. "Let him take you out. Let yourself feel special. That giddy feeling will show up. Promise."

"I guess so. I'm just worried."

"Well, of course you are. Just let him take you out and see what happens from there."

"Yeah, you're right. I need to at least give him the opportunity," I said with a sigh in forfeit.

"So you'll let him take you on a proper date?" she asked with hope.

"It can't hurt." I felt like I might as well be raising a white flag.

"Perfect, I gotta go. I have a mopey wolf on his way over here that will be very excited to hear the news," she said with more energy than normal.

"Thanks, Emily." I couldn't help but smile, much to my chagrin.

"Anytime, sweetie."

Upon hanging up the phone, Aunt Rose called me down to the kitchen. She had always had a knack for indulging my sweet tooth.

As soon as I walked into the never used spotless bright white kitchen, I smelled the strawberries. "Thought you could use a milkshake. I haven't made one for you in so long. Do you remember how much you used to love these?" she said with a smile. Her "so long ago" was probably about two months.

"You're too much, Aunt Rose. This is the perfect comfort food." I gave her a big hug and sat on the clear acrylic barstool at the shiny pale grey marble island in the center of the kitchen. Growing up, the puréed frozen strawberries blended with one scoop of vanilla and one scoop of strawberry ice cream with a splash of milk had been my favorite human food. Aunt Rose would make them for me all the time, and she probably always would. She really was like my second mother.

"Seems like you've got a lot to think about," she said as she leaned down to rest her elbows on the island with her head in her hands.

"Seems that way." I mimicked her motions to rest my chin in my hands too.

"Well, Nessie girl, I know you'll make the right choice."

I sucked down the last of the shake through the straw, stood up and looked at my perfectly pained nails. "I love the color, thanks."

"Just like a car, a fresh coat of paint always makes a girl feel better," she said, taking me in for a hug.

"I guess I should get going; I hear Uncle Em pulling in the drive way. I'd rather not be around to see what goes on here," I said with a wink. I'd heard enough stories about Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose's very "healthy" marriage to know that I didn't want to be around just the two of them for very long. He could never seem to keep his hands off her.

"Good idea." She laughed.

With a kiss on my aunt's cheek, I left the house and headed back for home. While I was walking, I thought about what Emily said: "Don't you already know? Aren't you just running from it?" Maybe she was right. Didn't I know? Was I just running for the sake of running? What about Jake was I questioning? I knew how good he would be to me. What was my problem? He's so considerate and charming and understanding, and constant. But also brash, and a bit vindictive, and capricious, and bull-headed, and painfully handsome. I was a mess.

I had been so caught up in my inner monologue that when I got back to my room, I almost didn't notice a note and a box sitting on my bed. I opened the note sitting on top and read the beautiful old-world script:

_My Dear Granddaughter,_

_I want you to know how much I love you and admire your strength. I am beyond proud of the woman that you are becoming, dear one. _

_You have quite a heavy heart right now, so I wanted to give you something that has always brought me solace and wisdom in my times of trials. This is the Bible that was given to me by my father. It helped me through many times in my existence when I didn't know what path to take, or when I doubted His love for me. I also bought you your own brand new Bible. Read it in earnest. I know we've studied the text as part of your schooling, but now I want you to pant for the text. _

_Psalm 42: 1-2 says: As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. _

_Renesmee, you can ask for advice from anyone, but always bring your worries to Him. Pray for guidance. It is the only real advice I can give you. I love you more than you will ever know. Your mere existence has made this whole family better. I personally can tell you that I am a better person for knowing you. Your heart is so open and beautiful. I just want to make sure that I am doing everything I can to help nurture that quality in you. You are so special._

_Love, Grandpa Carlisle_

_P.S. Take a look at the book of Ruth. I want you to think about Boaz. He was a good and righteous man. He was prepared and intentional when he sought after Ruth. This is what you need to consider when choosing a mate. You deserve a man that prepares for you and is intentional with you. Think about that._

Grandpa was right. I'd studied the text thoroughly, but had I ever really sought counsel from it? I opened the box to find the two Bibles he referred to. His old, well used, black leather bound Bible was on top. Its cracked leather cover looked like a relic that belonged in a museum. Underneath it was a brand new burgundy leather Bible with gold edged pages. I noticed a bookmark placed at the beginning of the book of Ruth. On the bookmark was Grandpa's handwriting that read: _Remember Boaz._

I had started to study Psalm 42 to gain perspective on how Grandpa wanted me to read the text, when my phone suddenly played "Hungry Like a Wolf." Jacob was calling. Talk about crazy timing. I knew I had to answer it this time.

"Hey, Jake." I heard a small gasp, as if he didn't expect me to pick up the phone.

"She speaks!" he said in a mock animated narrator-type voice.

"Yeah, sorry for not answering your calls or emails. I've just…" He cut me off.

"No apology needed. It's okay. You know I was just kidding," he said warmly.

"Yeah, I know—but still."

"Don't worry about it. Actually, I take that back. Feel remorseful. That way you can't say no when I ask you to let me take you out tomorrow night." Smooth.

"Hm, tomorrow? Let me check my calendar, I'm pretty booked, ya know…" I teased.

"Well, it would be so kind of you to pencil me in." He was on to me.

"I think I can work something out. What time were you thinking?"

"Six o'clock. For a proper date—dinner and a movie. Can't get more classic than that," he said slyly. He sounded so confident in contrast with how he'd sounded in his countless voicemail messages over the past few days. Emily must have told him that I said I would let him take me out.

"It's a date," I said.

"Yes, it is. I've worked it out with Alice and Jasper to be our appointed chaperones for the night, according to your dad's rules."

"You've really thought of everything haven't you?"

"I just want to be prepared, that's all."

Prepared? Humph. Sounded like he'd had a talk with Grandpa.

"Prepared, huh? So you talked to Grandpa Carlisle?" I asked.

"No—why? Was I supposed to?"

"No, never mind." I couldn't help but smile, thinking about Grandpa's letter.

"Okay, well, I'll pick you up at six tomorrow night."

"Six it is."

"Good night, princess."

I laughed. "Night," I replied.

How fortuitous that just after I was reading about a prepared and intentional man, I get a call from Jake. Prepared and intentional. Funny how things work sometimes.

I spent the rest of the day at the piano just playing music as it came to me. My father had gotten me into the habit of recording any time I started playing impromptu. Even though I had a perfect memory to recall everything I played, "Sometimes there is no way to exude that specific emotion again in a piece as it's coming out of your fingertips," Dad had said. At one point during my playing, I led both hands down into the bass clef. I played dark rolling arpeggios and weary dissonant chords that never resolved. I finished the dark section of the piece with a diminished triad to keep the heavy feeling while pouring everything I had into the right hand that was now tinkering around on the very right side of the piano.

I was playing exactly what I was feeling. Dark, deep flowing emotions that would all of a sudden get a burst of life and hope while still retaining weariness and doubt. By the end of the twenty-two minute impromptu, I realized that my hands were drenched from a shower of tears. I finished the last chord gasping for air and breaking down in overwhelming sobs. A half second after I realized my state, my father was on the bench next to me holding me like a vice and humming my lullaby softly to me.

"Shhhh, shhhh, baby you're okay," he cooed.

I sat there in his arms for a long time just listening to him hum his perfect melody into my ear as I soaked his shirt in my salty tears. After a while, he rested my head on his lap, and he began to play for me. He started out playing my lullaby, then my mother's, and then his _Ode to Esme_. I kept crying, so he kept playing. Song after song, he didn't stop until I did. Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Haydn, Mozart, Chopin, Debussy, Bach—he played it all, and just for me.

After calming down and listening to him play, I sat up and started accompanying him. He kept playing, so I kept playing accompanying harmonies. We ended by playing a piece that we had composed together when I was four years old. I felt worlds better when we finished. Rested, relaxed, confident, and steady. My father, the hero.

I started to say thank you, but he interrupted me before I could speak.

"That's just what fathers are for, angel. I love you." He pressed his cool forehead to mine.

"No one in the world knows how to calm me like you do."

"Baby, I'm your father; I love you more than anything. Don't you ever forget it," he said as he kissed my cheek and stood to leave me to my thoughts. If there was one parenting tip he'd learned from my mom when she was human, it was that daughters don't like their fathers to hover.

Back in my bedroom, I took Grandpa Carlisle's gifts over to my desk and decided to take his advice and read about Boaz. I'd read the story before, but never from this point of view. I figured if I was going to do this right, I should probably start with a prayer.

_Hey, God, Jesus, I'm not really quite sure what to call you. In one part of the Bible you tell us to call you "Abba"—that's Aramaic for "Daddy," right? I guess that's supposed to be some sort of symbol of how we're supposed to view you? I like that. From now on, it's Abba._

_I took a deep breath, and continued. I really just feel lost. I hate that I'm hurting Jake in the process. He's one of the last people on the planet that I would ever want to cause pain. I guess my biggest problem is that I had different expectations for how my life was going to go. _

_I know Jake would be a great mate; I have no doubt about that. How do I know, though, that there isn't someone better? At what point do I just throw my hands up and say "Oh well," and just roll with the imprint thing?_

_Okay, Abba, the Bible says: "Let your requests be known." Here is my request. Show me what the heck I'm supposed to be doing. Make it abundantly clear to me who I'm supposed to be with. So, yeah, my request is for provision. _

_Thanks, 10-4, over and out...Amen._

Wow, only one word for how that went…awkward. I'd have to work on learning how to pray without sounding like a moron.

The story of Ruth and Boaz was simple. Ruth, a Moabite widow, came back to Israel with her mother in law, Naomi, dirt poor. The law at the time was that farmers had to leave some grain on the ground for the poor to glean. Barely any of the farmers followed this law because it meant they were giving away some of their crops. Boaz was one of the few who kept to the law. Ruth goes to glean in the field, Boaz essentially sees her, thinks she's hot, and decides to take care of her. Finally, he decides he wants to marry her, but there's a process he must go through to take over the small piece of land that she and Naomi owned. Boaz had to prepare for Ruth by going to the court system to petition for her land and for her. He came to the courts intentionally for Ruth's wellbeing, not for the land that he would gain—not that the land that he'd gain was anything that great anyway, but he had to go through a long process for her.

I got it. I saw what Grandpa was talking about. I deserved a man who would intentionally go out of his way to prepare for me. For my own good—not just for his. Who more than Jake would ever do that for me? I guess that was Grandpa's point. Fantastic. Another Jake supporter. At least Grandpa made me come to that conclusion on my own.

I'd had enough for the night, so I put the two Bibles on my book shelf next to the Cullen Family History book and decided to take a steam before bed. I turned on my shower to the steam setting and let the enclosed space become a dense fog before I went inside. While I was waiting, I grabbed my iPod to dock in the built in speaker system for my bathroom. I set the playlist to "Nessie's Chill-out Playlist2." The eclectic playlist included: Ingrid Michelson, "The Black Keys," Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Jeff Buckley, "The Smiths," Lykki Li, and "Bon Iver."

As I stepped into the shower, the first song that played was Ingrid Michelson's "Be OK." How ironic. I lowered my body down on the tile bench, letting the scent of eucalyptus waft over me, and listened to the lyrics:

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok

I just want to be ok today

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok

I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today

I just want to feel something today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today

I just want to feel something today

Open me up and you will see

I'm a gallery of broken hearts

I'm beyond repair, let me be

And give me back my broken parts

I just want to know today, know today, know today

I just want to know something today

I just want to know today, know today, know today

Know that maybe I will be ok

Sleep didn't come easy. I tossed and turned in bed for an hour and a half before I finally remembered to utilize Uncle Jasper's relaxation techniques. I started with my toes up to the tip of my head, concentrating on every muscle, willing them to relax. The steam hadn't helped as much as I'd hoped it would. Sleep came, but it was not restful. My imagination went into overdrive producing every possible bad outcome for my date with Jacob. I hadn't realized there were so many ways to have a simple night with my Jacob go so terribly disastrous.

_Jake took my hand as we walked along the streets of the city. It had just rained. The asphalt was wet and reflected the yellow light from the streetlights above._

"_Would you like to dance?" he asked._

"_There's no music," I replied with a giggle._

"_That's never stopped us before," he whispered in my ear._

_As we promenaded around the empty boulevard, a street corner musician played the most romantic violin tune I'd ever heard. Jacob looked into my eyes more meaningfully than he ever had before. He slid his large, warm hand to the small of my back and drew me closer to him until our lips were dancing together to the sound of the violin. His mouth was warm and inviting. I lingered in his embrace as he dove into me for one more passionate and overwhelming kiss. Our lips parted and he smiled at me._

"_I love you, Bella."_

My eyes shot open, I gasped and sat up. "Just a dream, Nessie, Just a dream!" I said out loud to myself. I would not allow myself to cry today. I was going to have a good time today if it killed me. I quickly made my bed and went in to wash my face with cold water. "Just a dream," I said again. I could hear my parents arguing downstairs.

"You can't go up to rescue her after every bad dream, Edward. She's a big girl, she can handle it. I really think she just needs to process things alone right now. Just give her a little space," I heard my mother say.

I laced up my running shoes and headed out the front door. Aunt Alice was outside waiting for me in a bright pink track suit.

"I'm coming," she told me.

"Fine, no talking."

"Fine," she trilled in her beautiful sing-song voice. "I'm not in a particularly chatty mood anyway."

I laughed. "Right. Okay, well then, let's go," I said as I put my iPod buds in my ears and chose a playlist I called "Novocain." It was a mix of heavy metal meant to drown out all of my thoughts. "Godflesh," "Dillinger Escape Plan," and "Carcass" were just a few of the hard hitting bands that I sought refuge from my nightmares with.

I took off as fast as I could down the road to Yellowhead Highway. I had to cross the bridge to get onto mainland Canada if I was going to get any real distance, not worrying if Aunt Alice was keeping up or not. Right, left, right, left, right, left. Trees, houses, and road signs whizzed by at a Formula1-esque pace. Michael Schumacher and his Ferrari had nothing on me. I cut through the crisp British Colombia fall morning air with a steady precision. I crossed the bridge and darted into the lush green forest. The dew still hung in the morning air as I ran. Birds squawked and took flight as Aunt Alice and I interrupted their morning. I could feel the moist air clinging to me as I traversed through the trees. I leapt over a large stream and continued my run, forcing all of the night's horrific occurrences to drown in a Carcass song called, Necro-Cannibal Bloodfeast.

Right, left, right, left, right, left. The farther I ran, the more I felt my night terrors seeping off of me and sticking to the mud in my wake. With every step, the more numb and eventually the better I started to feel, once the nightmare lost its hold on me. Three hours later, I decided it was time to turn around. We'd come to the Yukon-Charley Rivers National Preserve. Any farther, and we'd be in Denali. I came to an abrupt stop, wondering if Aunt Alice had followed me all the way up here. I turned around and there she was. I smiled to her, and she mouthed "I love you" to me. I ran to her and gave her a huge hug and a smile that said, "Thank you."

We ran home side by side. It took a bit longer, but I liked having my sweet little pixie in my peripheral vision. When we finally arrived back at the house in Prince Rupert, it was four-thirty. I had spent the whole day running.

"I don't know how you can stand listening to that noise!" Alice said, making a face like she was gagging.

"It numbs me. Sometimes it's needed," I said as I took off my shoes.

"If I had to hear that guy scream about grotesque medical experiments for one more minute, I would have thrown myself into a fire."

I laughed. "You're talking about "Carcass;" yeah, a lot of their songs are about weird medical stuff."

"I thought you were supposed to be Edward's daughter? He's got good taste… that… is not music." She was entering one of her giggle fits that I loved so much. "Go take a shower; your hair is a wind-blown mess. I'll pick out something for you to wear."

"Thanks." I kissed her head and followed orders.

In the middle of letting the conditioner in my hair marinate, I started to get butterflies. I'm going on a date—a real date—with Jake. It was sinking in. All my fears dissolved as I realized that this was what I'd been dreaming about for two years. Giddiness took over where my fear had vanished.

I sat smiling the whole time Aunt Rose was drying my hair. Aunt Alice had gone back to her house to get ready since it was technically her date too.

"Knock, knock!" my mom said as she entered the bathroom. "Mind if I just sit in here and soak up the fact that my daughter is about to go on her first date?"

"Don't stress me out, Mom! I know this is my first date. Please stay, but cut it out with the sentimental crap," I pleaded to her.

"Can do," she replied quickly.

"So, Nessie girl, what are we thinking makeup wise? I'm thinking a clean peach and taupe eye with black liner and a fresh, dewy face. I want him to see you, not the make-up."

"You're the pro when it comes to this stuff. You do what you think will look best," I told her.

"You'll be beautiful no matter what," Mom said with a smile. "Did Alice pick out the outfit that's on the bed?"

"Yeah, I haven't seen it yet. Is it okay, or is it over the top?" I asked.

"Looks good to me. Leggings, riding boots, some sort of flowy top that ties with a bow, and a leather jacket. Looks like you," she tried her best to describe the fashion, but it just wasn't her area of expertise.

"What do you think of your hair? Looks good, right?" Aunt Rose was looking for confirmation.

"Looks so silky! Be careful, I might ask you to do this every day!" I told her as I ran my fingers through the soft waves that she created.

Five minutes later, my hair and makeup was finished, and I was pulling on the clothes that Aunt Alice had laid out for me. I looked in the mirror at the final product and sighed in relief.

"Well, if something goes horribly wrong tonight, we know it won't be because I didn't look good. You guys did an amazing job. Thanks." I looked to Aunt Rose and my mom to let them know how much I appreciated their support.

"Anything for you, Nessie girl," Aunt Rose said sweetly to me.

Six o'clock on the dot, there was a knock on the door. My dad and grandpa Carlisle answered the door to greet him.

Carlisle POV

My magnificent granddaughter had taken the news of the imprint better than Esme and I expected her to. No matter how much input Esme and I had wanted to give, we had to concede to Edward and Bella. As parents, you're always charged with the challenge of watching your children (or grandchildren) headed straight for an emotional cliff. You want to save them, to tow them away from the edge, but the best lessons are learned from personal experience. Esme and I had wanted to step in so many times to give our opinion, but Edward and Bella had never asked, so we never gave it.

Over the past few years, I had become very close with my little granddaughter. She was a gifted student with a natural ability for understanding the human body. She would make a great surgeon someday if she wanted to. I had considered many options of ways to help Renesmee with her current situation. The best idea that my wife and I had conjured up was to let her hear for herself. I bought her a Bible and gave her my Bible from when I was a human. I would encourage her to read and to pray. It was the only thing I could think of that would be able to give her any real wisdom on the matter.

My son had turned into the most wonderful father. I knew he would. Parenthood suited him well. Watching the way he was always ready to jump in to Renesmee's rescue to comfort or protect her was just beautiful. I'd tried to hide my thoughts from him about Aro's letters, but Edward was too perceptive. The Volturi were starting to ask a lot of questions again. I'd received correspondence from Aro every few years since they came for their "visit," as Aro now referred to it. Edward and I had started to wonder how long they would wait to hear back from us, as we had yet to respond. At some point, we were going to have to revisit that subject.

For now though, our main concern was Renesmee's feelings towards the imprint. Jacob was a good man and would be a perfect mate for her, but it wasn't my job to tell her that. She had to figure it out for herself. I would just try to give her all the tools I could to help her come to her own conclusion.

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_**Google street view of Yellowhead Highway's bridge between Prince Rupert and mainland Canada:**_ http : / ..net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s720x720/300498_773846159130_19901040_37847807_453967_n . jpg

(take out the spaces)

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A/N

**~Please review! I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear your thoughts! :)**

A MILLION THANKS TO MY AMAZING "PROJECT TEAM BETA" BETAS!

**Nikki Halen**- Thank you again, for all your great notes. You add so much depth to my stories. I love your comments like: "What did so-and-so think about this?" "describe what it looked like." Those are my favorite kind of notes.

**Jenrosee**- My grammar goddess. Lady, you rock. Seriously. :) I'm sorry that comma splices make you sad. ;) I'm working on it!

Also, a big shout-out to my new friend, awesome author, and magnificent pre-reader, **Content1**. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ HER STORIES, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING FOR THE NEXT WEEK, TAKE A VACATION FROM WORK IF YOU HAVE TO... AND READ THEM! You will thank me later.


	7. Dinner and a Movie

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.

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A/N: This chapter just about killed me. It has haunted me for weeks. I worked very hard on it, and would really appreciate your reviews! The last chapter only received 2 reviews. :(

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CHAPTER 6: DINNER AND A MOVIE

_The whole house was covered in a layer of pastel pink, yellow and purple balloons. I was stuffed full of chocolate cake, strawberry ice cream, and joy. I held Jacob's large hand all day—literally never letting go. Mom and Aunt Alice had planned a "Princess Party," but I just called it the "Jacob Party." Mom looked annoyed, but I didn't care and Jacob could not have been more pleased. After our fifth swirl around the dance floor that Daddy built for the party, I sat down with Jacob on a bench under the maple tree in our backyard and began swinging my feet back and forth. I had on frilly white socks with bright pink satin shoes. They were my favorite._

"_Happy second birthday, Nessie! Are you having fun or what?" Jake asked as he put his gigantic arm around me._

"_This is a _great_ Jacob Party!" I exclaimed._

_Jake laughed with a satisfied look on his face. "You may not want to tell your mom and Alice that; they worked really hard on your 'Princess Party.'"_

"_Jacob?" I asked suddenly._

"_Yeah, Nessie?" He rested his cheek on top of my head and waited for my onslaught of questions. Jake was used to my never-ending queries._

"_Do you love me?"_

"_More than all the leaves in the forest," he said as he kissed the top of my head._

"_More than all the sand at the beach?" I wasn't satisfied._

"_More than all the stars in the sky, Nessie." His voice held promise._

"_That's a lot," I said smiling, as I reached up and grabbed the hand that rested on my shoulder._

"_Yup. It sure is. I'll love you that much forever and ever," he said in an animated tone, as he started to tickle me._

"_And ever and ever?" I asked him between giggles._

"_Yup!" he said mischievously, with more unrelenting tickling._

"_Then it's a Jacob party." I said resolutely when he finally finished his torture._

"_Good enough for me, Nessie." Jake had a smile plastered across his face that couldn't have gotten any bigger if he tried._

_I knew my whole family loved me, but his was the most special. Everyone else was family; they had to love me. As far as I was concerned, Jacob's love was by choice, and that made it all the more important to me. All of a sudden, I wanted to make sure he knew that I loved him that way too. "Jacob?"_

"_Yeeeees?" he asked in a quizzical voice, with raised eyebrows._

"_I think I'll love you that long too." His eyes went soft, as he flashed me the biggest smile in his arsenal. His warm arms just held me tighter. I was completely content._

"Come on in, Jake," I heard my dad say to my date from downstairs.

"Relax, everything will be fine. Just take a deep breath." I heard from the room below me. I wasn't sure if Grandpa was talking to Jake or my dad.

"You ready?" Mom asked me as Aunt Rose fussed with my hair in my bedroom.

"Is it possible for my response to be 'Not at all' and 'Absolutely' all at once?" I asked. The butterflies in my stomach had butterflies _in their stomachs_.

Mom laughed and held out the black Veda lamb skin jacket for me to slip on. "Remember to have fun, okay? _Enjoy this_. Alice and Jasper won't hover too much. I've already had a conversation with the both of them. They'll hang back, but be there if you need them."

"Thanks. You're the best, Mom." I gave her and Aunt Rose a kiss on the cheek and headed downstairs.

"Wow, Ness, you look beautiful," he said in an awed voice. Jake's eyes were as wide as saucers as he saw me coming down the stairs. He was wearing his "nice jeans," as he called them, and a chocolate brown dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. I could hear his heart thudding a million miles an hour. I noticed sweat beads starting to form on his forehead. He looked so nervous. I didn't recall ever hearing him speak to me in that way before. He'd told me I was beautiful hundreds of times, but this felt different. For the first time, I felt as if he really _saw_ me. My mind started racing: _Nessie, you _can't_ run up and him and kiss him because: a) your mind reading father is already listening to you talk to yourself like a crazy person, and b) please remember that you are still not thrilled with the situation! Calm, Nessie, just act calm._

"Thanks." I blushed.

"These are for you. They're your favorite, right?" He held out a bouquet of beautiful grey-lavender colored sterling roses with a nervous smile.

"They are absolutely my favorite! How did you know?" I asked as I took them from him shyly and walked with him into the kitchen to put them in water.

"We went to that flower show at the Vancouver Arboretum a few years ago, and you seemed to want to look at those the most."

"You noticed that?" I was so unbelievably flattered. I had always loved sterling roses.

"I always notice things like that." His voice wavered, almost embarrassed. In the kitchen, there was already a Lalique crystal vase with water waiting. Aunt Alice must have prepared it ahead of time for me. I put the flowers in the vase and hugged him. My butterfly's butterflies started to flutter again as I took in his warm, cedar scent. That was the first moment that I ever felt like a woman, loved by a man. It felt so real. Jake had been preparing for me long before I ever had any idea.

"Thank you. You just reminded me that you're you. Thank you." He pulled out of the hug first and smiled, looking at me in the eyes.

His whole demeanor changed. His posture improved, and his nervous eyes grew confident. "I'm just me, and you're just you. This is as natural as walking." I immediately relaxed. His voice was low and reassuring. He was so steady and so sure. It was like my old Jake, my rock, had returned—just more romantic. He'd been so different since I'd come home from Chicago, it was a relief to have _my _Jake back. "You ready to go? Alice and Jasper are meeting us at dinner."

"Dinner?" I snickered. "When you told me on the phone we were doing dinner and a movie, I thought you were joking." The return of "old Jake" had me so relaxed that it was easy to laugh with him again.

"No joke. I told you. It's the most classic date. Dinner and a movie. I'm doing this old school." He smirked at me as he led me out of the kitchen and to the front door.

"Bye, Daddy! I'm sure I won't be out late." I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and we left the house.

Jake led me to his Audi S5 that Mom and Dad had bought him for his twenty-first birthday and opened the door for me to get in.

As soon as the engine turned on, "The Black Keys" started playing through the sound system. I couldn't help but smile. I loved "The Black Keys."

"You've really thought of everything, haven't you?" I said to him.

"Pretty sure." Confident Jake, I'd missed him so much.

"So...where are we going for dinner?" I asked curiously.

He smirked deviously. "It's a surprise, although it probably won't be for long." I just smiled and sat back to see where he was taking me. After two miles on Wantage Road, he made a right toward the tree-line onto a small side street that turned into a dirt road. He pulled to the side of the road behind my Rover.

"What the heck is my car doing here?"

"Well, the S5 isn't really very helpful on dirt roads, and we thought you might notice if your car keys disappear. Plus, you know how handy Alice is at grand theft auto, so I had her steal your car and bring it here so we could use it the rest of the way to dinner."

"Dinner is in the woods?"

"Yup! No more questions," he said with a chortle, he was having fun with this. As we locked up the S5, I noticed Jake pulling my spare set of keys out of his pocket. Sneaky.

He drove us another few miles into the foothills, and then stopped the car at a football-field sized clearing.

"We're here!" he said as he opened the trunk and took out a blanket and a picnic basket.

"We're going to have a picnic?" I questioned. Jake rolled his eyes facetiously.

"I told you, classic. What's classier for a date than a picnic?"

"You're good, Mr. Black." A smile was plastered on my face and wouldn't leave. He had really thought this out.

"Okay well, good. Go say hi to Alice and Jasper. I'm going to set up our picnic, and then I need to strip behind the Rover to phase."

"What? Why? I thought we were having a picnic." Now I was just confused.

"Yeah, but we have to get the food from somewhere."

I eyed him suspiciously. "I thought you said classic."

"Classic-ish. You're a half vampire, and I'm a werewolf. Some things have to be a little different," he said with a playful tone.

"Okay, I won't argue," I said through the smile that wouldn't leave my face. I walked—more like floated—over to where Uncle Jasper and Aunt Alice were sitting on a large blanket on the north end of the field. Uncle Jasper was taking pictures of my Aunt with a wildflower garland on her head.

"Well aren't _you_ happy," Uncle Jasper said with a grin. He was sharing in my elation.

"Yeah, I had decided that I was just going to try to relax and have fun, and Jake is making it so easy." I sat down next to my Aunt.

"Just so you know, we plan to cramp your style as little as possible tonight. We're going hunting too, but we're going to try to stay at least a half mile away from you. It's close enough, but far enough." Aunt Alice said in her sweet angelic voice.

"Thanks, guys. I appreciate the attempt at giving us privacy," I said as I wrapped my arms around my aunt.

"Your picnic, per Jacob's specifications, is on the opposite side of the clearing," my Aunt told me, pointing to the south-east corner. As I looked in that direction, I spotted my chestnut colored wolf prancing toward me.

"Jacob, I love you and all, but you really do stink. Jazz, let's go. Stay close, you two. We are technically _supposed_ to be chaperoning you tonight," Aunt Alice said. Then, she and Uncle Jasper were gone in a flash.

"You want to lead the way?" I asked Jake.

He nodded and took off at a moderate pace, so I could follow. We only ran for a short while before I smelled a pair of grizzly bears; Jake smelled them too. Watching him run was purely a thing of beauty. He was as graceful on his four legs as Aunt Alice on her nimble two legs. His tail bobbed up and down to the rhythm of his canter.

I held back, watching him take down the first bear quickly. As soon as he made contact with it, I started to charge for the second. Before I could get to it, Jake stopped me and nudged his kill to me. As I stepped up to the offering, Jake ran off after the second bear that was now sprinting away. _He wanted to catch me dinner, how cute,_ I thought. I finished Jake's gift to me quickly, and just as I was dusting off the dirt from my knees where I'd knelt down, Jake was back with the other bear and dropped it at my feet.

"No, that one's yours," I said to him. "You gave me this one. I'm good. Really, you have it." One way conversations could get a bit frustrating.

He set the bear down right in front of me and huffed. "Okay, bossy pants," I said with sarcasm, and then looked him in the eyes. "Thank you."

After I sufficiently drained both bears, he lowered his body for me to climb on his back to take us back to the clearing. He dropped me off at our blanket, and he quickly ran to change back into human form.

"You really could have had that other bear, I didn't need it," I said to him, a little frustrated.

"Since when is this about _need_? We're going to be eating some human food, and I wanted to make sure that you had enough of your _other_ type of diet to satisfy you." He smiled, seeming to almost enjoy my annoyance. Jake sat down next to me on the blanket and opened the basket.

"Tell me you're not having fun," he said slyly.

I gave him an exasperated look. "So, whatcha got in the basket?" I asked, changing the subject, not wanting to have to admit yet that this was perfect.

He started pulling out the items one by one. "We have all the essential Nessie favorites." He smiled. "Apples and bleu cheese, bacon wrapped dates stuffed with Cabrales cheese, tortilla chips and guacamole, fish tacos, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and blue Gatorade." He smiled, waiting for my reaction.

"Quite a smorgasbord!" I laughed. I couldn't believe Jake had gone through so much work for this.

"Well, I didn't know what you'd be in the mood for, so I just brought all your favorites." He was so proud of himself. Jake was trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing, but I wasn't buying it.

"This is amazing. Really, Jake, I'm kinda speechless." I took a bacon wrapped date out of the container and popped it in my mouth. "_Mmmmm_," was all that came out.

"I'm glad you like them. I had them flown in from that tapas place you loved in Los Angeles when we went last winter," he said as he popped one into his mouth too.

"Really? That's crazy! They're just as good as I remember! This is really nuts. You definitely went all out, didn't you?"

"Did you ever have any doubt that I wouldn't? I mean, I'm trying to win the heart of a Cullen girl—I can't exactly take you to Burger King." He smiled, and opened the container of guacamole and the bag of tortilla chips with "a hint of lime." They were my favorite. I could just lick the lime off all the chips one by one. "Try the guacamole. I made it myself."

"_You _made it?" I looked at him accusingly. I knew he never cooked.

"Well, Esme might have helped me a little… or a lot. But, I did almost everything; she just told me what to do," he said as he dipped a chip in the guacamole and held it in front of my face. I took a large bite. I was totally impressed.

"So how are my wooing skills?" Jacob asked after his fourth fish taco.

"Blue Gatorade and peanut butter cups," I said, smiling and motioning to the food around us, "I'd say your wooing skills are pretty awesome." His smile matched mine as he put his arm around me. I leaned into him and asked, "So what time is the movie?"

"Whatever time you want. Do you want to start it?"

"Here?"

"Yeah, I rented a projector and screen. It's in the car. Are you ready for the movie?"

"What movie are we going to watch?" I asked as I tried to inconspicuously inch closer to him. His scent was intoxicating. He was a mix of cedar, nutmeg and bergamot.

"What's your favorite movie?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh, jeez, there are so many! Overall though? Probably _Roman Holiday_," I said, unsure which movie he chose.

"I remember you saying once that it was the best movie of all time." He reached into the basket and pulled out the DVD.

"You really did think of everything, didn't you?" I wondered if he could hear my heart flutter.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed. "Hey man, we're ready for the movie, do you mind setting it up? Thanks, Jasper," he said and closed his phone.

In no time, a large white screen was assembled in the middle of the field, and the familiar opening scene started to play. This was so much more romantic than I had expected. I was overwhelmed by my attraction to him. I started to think about what it would be like if I took his hand. I'd held his hand a thousand times before, but this time I knew it would be different. I could feel myself being drawn to him. Was it just my long building relationship with him, or was it something more wolfy and mystical? I couldn't decide, but at the moment, I didn't really care.

As we watched Princess Ann walk "drunkenly" through Rome, I decided to go for it. I took his hand and wove my fingers through his.

"Thank you so much for all this. You have no idea what this means to me," I said. Electricity surged through my body at our touch. His hand, only slightly warmer, squeezed mine.

"I'm so glad. I just want you to know how important you are to me. I really hope I'm able to convey that to you." He rested his forehead on my temple and whispered, slowly and deeply. "When you took my hand, you have no idea what it did to me. I feel like the luckiest guy alive right now."

I just smiled. I didn't even know what to say to that. I was bursting with feelings that I'd never had before, and I wasn't sure yet what to do with them.

It then occurred to me that Uncle Jasper could probably feel the lust pouring off of me. How utterly embarrassing! I tried to calm myself and focus on the movie. I was only slightly watching the movie again when Jake started to stir.

"Are you comfortable? I should have brought chairs," he asked with concern.

"No, I'm fine, promise." I didn't want him to move, I was enjoying him next to me too much.

"Here, this'll be better," he said. He moved around to sit behind me with his muscular legs on either side of me, leaning back on his hands. "Now you have a reclining back rest." He smiled and motioned for me to lean back against him. I wondered if this was a "Dad approved" sitting position but decided that I really didn't care. Nothing seemed more inviting to me at that moment than resting against his warm body.

I leaned back and rested my head just in the crook of his right shoulder and neck. His scent wafted over me again, and I could feel myself melt into his body. Nothing in the world mattered at that moment. I was so enraptured by Jacob that I couldn't even think straight. He rested his cheek on the top of my head. I had completely forgotten about the movie and was just listening to the sound of him breathing. He was calm and steady. Amazingly sexy. He must have noticed that I wasn't paying attention to the screen.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked.

"Which one? I have a million different things racing around in my brain right now," I said to him with a little laugh.

"Okay well, the main one. What are you thinking, Nessie?"

Still leaning against him, I turned my head up to meet his face. "Well," I hesitated. "I guess my main thought was that if you wanted to kiss me at some point tonight, I think I'd be okay with it." I was so shocked with the words that escaped my mouth. I had planned on saying something much less obvious, but there it was, what I truly had been thinking.

"Good to know," he said slyly and rested his cheek back on the top of my head. He let out a small burst of air through his nose, as if he was laughing to himself.

_How humiliating._ I thought. He was laughing at me. Was I going too fast? Was I not supposed to tell him that he could kiss me so soon?

"Nessie, calm down. I can hear your heart racing," he told me in his deep soothing voice. I inhaled deeply and let out a long, slow breath. "Better," he said. We sat silently watching the movie for what seemed like an eternity.

As a short-haired Princess Ann returned to her embassy, Jacob shifted his weight to one side, and with his now free hand, ran his fingers through my soft waves.

"Thank you for letting me take you out tonight," he said as gave me a one-armed hug around the front of my body squeezing my opposite shoulder with his hand.

I couldn't wait any longer. I twisted my torso around to look at him, my face barely an inch away from his. "Please don't make me ask you again," I said in the sexiest voice I could conjure up.

"You didn't ask; you told me that you would be okay with it at some point." His voice had a hint of sarcasm and a glimmer of that cocky Jacob attitude that I loved.

"Please," I said to him, pressing my forehead to his.

He searched my eyes for a moment. "You're sure?"

"Jacob…" I felt the need in me rising. If he didn't kiss me soon, I might internally combust. The heady feeling stirred throughout my body.

That seemed to be enough of a confirmation to him. His hands cupped each side of my face as he looked into my eyes and smiled. I closed my eyes in anticipation, drinking in the feeling of his hands against my face. Then his lips met mine, and I would have sworn that actual sparks flew out from us. My hands found the back of his head and gripped his hair. His warm full lips devoured mine. He had me in a trance as I opened my mouth, inviting him in. The intoxicating feeling of his tongue dancing with mine was the most intense experience that I'd had to date. He tasted sweet and savory all at the same time.

A small moan escaped my chest, and he held me even tighter. His body called to me. I realized at that moment how much I wanted him. How much I needed him. Completely overwhelmed by him, I let my hands roam over his muscular neck, shoulders and back. I considered tearing his shirt off, his warm skin calling me to envelop him. Then I noticed something else calling to me—his blood. I couldn't rip myself away from him, but fear was starting to creep over me as I worried that I might actually hurt him. His lips. So beautiful. So sensual, that I couldn't let go. His racing heart, pumping his sweet blood became the only thing I could hear. How divine it would be to taste him. The bloodlust in me piqued, and Uncle Jasper must have felt it.

"Ahheemmm! AHEM!" Uncle Jasper loudly cleared his throat trying to be as polite as possible while ending our little make-out session. Jacob broke our kiss and smiled widely at me. We both understood that there were no words needed. It had been perfect…except for the small fact that I had wanted his blood. Just a tiny detail. It took everything in me to keep from crying.

Jacob began playing with a curl of my hair. "We should probably get going. I don't want to bring you back too late." Jake said as he packed up the leftovers and blanket, Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper joined us.

"You okay?"My uncle mouthed to me. I quickly nodded but wondered if I really meant it.

Jacob ushered me back to the car, and we got back to my house quickly. As he walked me to the front door, my hand in his, he turned to look at me on the front porch.

"You're so incredible. This is really the first night I've ever let myself see you in this light, and I have to say, Nessie, I like it. You're so unbelievable. Thank you for letting me take you out tonight," he said, smiling.

I smiled at him. "No, thank _you_. This was the best night. Really. Thanks for putting so much effort in to this. It was perfect." _Except for the part where I wanted to tear into your neck and drink your blood._ I added in my head.

"Good night, Nessie," he said, leaning down to give me a short kiss. I held my breath.

I walked through the door and immediately any joy that I had left was torn from me. My father was furious. Beyond furious. I'd never seen him like this. Uncle Emmett and Grandpa had him pinned against the wall, as he roared in rage at Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper.

"I trusted you!" he hissed. Venom seemed to pour from his mouth with his callous words.

"Edward! Calm down immediately. You're not helping anything," my mom said as she came to my side. "A little help would be nice, Jasper," she said, almost begging my uncle to help calm Dad down.

I saw my dad physically relax with Uncle Jasper's aid. "Get your hands off of me," he said to Uncle Emmett and Grandpa.

"Watch yourself, Edward," Grandpa said to him as a warning when they finally removed their vice-like grip from my father's body. I wasn't sure whether they'd been holding him back from Uncle Jasper or from just running away from the situation. My dad sat down on the couch with his head in his hands. Uncle Jasper sat down next to him and patiently waited for my dad to pull himself together. My mom gave me a hug and left to go sit on Dad's other side, and Aunt Alice came to sit on her husband's knee. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to stay for this or not.

"Edward, Nessie is fine. Everyone is fine," my mom cooed.

"We were supervising the entire time. They were only fifty yards away from us. We saw and heard everything as if we were sitting right next to them," Uncle Jasper said very matter-of-factly. He didn't like being accused of betraying my dad's trust.

"I watched their decisions the entire time, Edward. Promise. I knew Nessie was going to tell Jake to kiss her tonight, but I didn't think that was a problem. You told him he could kiss her when she asked. She asked, Edward!" Aunt Alice chimed in.

My dad sat quietly with his head hanging, staring at the floor. "You _should_ have been sitting with them. There's no way they would have gotten so intimate if you were sitting next to them on the blanket," he said in a grumble.

"Edward, she's known Jake her whole life. It only makes sense for things to progress at a quicker pace now. He's practically been courting her for six years. He was a complete gentleman tonight. Look at her, Edward. She's a beautiful young woman." Aunt Alice gestured towards me. "She's her mother's daughter through and through."

He raised his head in my direction, but I couldn't even look at him. I was mortified and furious at his blatant overreaction. Without returning his gaze, I gave Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper a quick kiss and left the room, clomped up the stairs, closing my bedroom door behind me. I needed to think about the night's events without my family flipping out on me. Before I could get engrossed in my own thoughts, there was a faint knock at my door.

"Renesmee, can I come in?" It was my mom.

"Is Dad with you?" I wasn't ready to face him yet.

"No, it's just me."

"Come in, Mom," I said in a half-sigh as I flopped down onto my pink and green damask print couch. She came in and sat down next to me.

"First of all, are you okay? That was quite the scene to walk into," she said as she rolled her eyes. I laid my head down to rest on her lap.

"The night was so perfect, but then I don't know what happened. I've never had a problem like that before. Mom, I wanted to _bite_ him!" I exclaimed.

"Well, honey, it wouldn't be the first time, and you know you're not venomous," she said with a giggle. "Everything was fine until that point though? You had a good time?"

"It was magical, Mom. I really felt like I was in a dream. He was seriously Prince Charming. Then all of a sudden, it was like I wasn't in control of my body anymore, and I was all over him..." I trailed off not knowing how to tell my mom the rest.

"I've heard of the imprint doing that. It's almost like an electric charge, from what I've been told. Emily said that they couldn't keep their hands off each other for months. I'm pretty sure they slept together the first night," Mom said. "Not that it would be okay for you to do that," she added for good measure in her serious Mom voice.

"Mom…his blood...I wanted it," I admitted, completely ashamed.

"You think your father didn't lust after my blood when I was human? Of course he did. You controlled it just like he did. You just weren't expecting it, that's all. Next time you'll be prepared for it."

"Next time? I don't think there will be a next time," I told her with tears welling up in my eyes. Too many things went wrong. The furious look on Dad's face when I came home was still in my mind. "So, which part is Dad upset about?"

"Your father just isn't adjusting very well to the idea that you're a young woman. He's mostly upset that your aunt and uncle gave you too much freedom to let the situation play out. He's upset about the level of intimacy during the kiss and about hearing Jake's thoughts about it on your drive home. Jacob was replaying it in his mind over and over, thinking about how amazing it was—and being a guy—thought about what could happen next. You seemed to really have an effect on him!" she said with a smile, trying to make me feel better.

"He was thinking about what could happen next_?_" I didn't want to even _think_ about that yet.

"If he knows what's good for him, it'll stay in his thoughts and not move anywhere from there for a very long time. You don't have anything to worry about; Jake knows he'll have a whole coven of vampires ready to kick his puppy butt if he tries anything out of wedlock with our girl." A small smile crept up her face. I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"You said Daddy is upset about the kiss...are you?" I asked shyly.

"Oh honey," she said as she took my hand in hers. "No, I'm not upset. From what I heard, it was quite the passionate lip-lock, but no. I was the same way when I was your age, and I think things turned out pretty well for me." She kissed my hand and held it to her chest.

"But he's not mad at Jake for thinking that stuff?" I asked, a little confused.

"No." She gave me my hand back and turned toward me with her legs curled under her. "He knows Jake is just as ignorant as you are, and this is pretty much all new for him too. He hadn't kissed anyone since I kissed him before the newborn attack. That's why he was so adamant about the two of you being supervised."

"He thinks I'm ignorant?" I didn't like that my dad thought of me in that way.

"Well, not _ignorant,_ but naïve about dating and men in general. It's nothing against you, Renesmee, you're just a bit inexperienced with this stuff and so is Jacob, that's all." I was silent as my mom stroked my hair. "How do you feel about everything up until the bloodlust?" she asked.

"It was just perfect. He was so great. I just hate this imprint. I hate how it makes me feel," I said with a sigh. "It was like all of a sudden, my mind was being controlled by something else. I want to feel those things on my own, but that wasn't me tonight. It was like I wasn't in control of my own body. The minute I started leaning against him, watching the movie, I was a goner. I was completely taken over by lust." _I can't believe I just told my mom that._

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you that it's genetic, Honey. I don't know why you assume that was the imprint. I was the same way with your father. I tried to sway him so many times, but he was insistent on waiting. You're a sexual being, Renesmee, and that's okay. I know we've never really talked about it in this way, but maybe we need to. We were created to crave sex, and to enjoy it—when you're married. But for now…just enjoy kissing him. There is something to be said for restraint and for waiting. It makes it so much more special when it finally does happen." She smiled at me. "You'll figure it out. Promise. I need to go talk to your father though, he's about to go crazy. Get some sleep, baby. I'll have you shielded all night so you can actually be alone. I love you."

As I sat in my room, I heard my mother and father in the next room. Didn't they know I could hear them?

"Completely irresponsible. How could they? They were nowhere near Jacob and Renesmee all night. I wouldn't put it past Jasper to have inadvertently sent out sexual vibes that our daughter caught on to," I heard my dad say.

"Honey, it was the imprint. She couldn't help it. You've heard just as much as I have how strong the pull can be. We knew this. _You_ knew this. She's practically the age I was when you and I met. You have to realize that she's not a baby anymore," Mom countered.

"I trusted Alice and Jasper to keep their eyes on them. Why didn't they stop it?" His voice held so much pain.

"They did. Jasper ended it as soon as he felt her bloodlust," my mom said as calmly and soothingly as possible, trying to protect my uncle.

"And that's another thing. How are we to handle this _new_ development? I don't even know what to think. Now I have to worry about how she's going to handle _that?_" he said a bit accusingly. I didn't like where this conversation was going.

"Edward Anthony, you are being such a hypocrite. You lusted after my blood, but that didn't stop you from being with me, did it?" My mom sounded furious.

"That was different."

"Yes, it was. She's not venomous, and he heals almost as fast as we do. She couldn't really hurt him. You could have easily hurt me. You're right. There's a huge difference."

"I don't care if she hurts _him_. But I _do care_ about what it would do to her. Can you imagine the pain that she'd feel if she ever actually hurt him? I still don't think you fully grasp the agony that I would have gone through if I had ever hurt you. My plans for myself, had anything gone wrong, were outright sadistic. You will never understand." He sighed. I imagined him leaning against the wall with one hand, the other pinching the bridge of his nose, head hung low.

"She can't hurt him!" Mom shouted. "Really, Edward, tell me what went so terribly wrong tonight? Our daughter was treated like a princess. She had a great time! He loves her so much. Is this about them, or is this really about your insecurities about losing her?" My dad was silent. That must have gotten to him. I tried as hard as I could to block out their arguing and focus on my own thoughts.

Tonight had been the most amazing night of my life. Jacob loved_ me._ He went through so much work to make tonight perfect for me. I looked at the roses that Mom must have put in my room while we were gone. Jacob had noticed how I lingered at the sterling roses...he _noticed_. The thought that he was so concerned with things like that made my heart skip a beat. He was so perfect tonight.

I remembered leaning against him. His warm body, his scent, it was the most incredible feeling. Was it just my hormones running wild, or was it the imprint that made me unleash on him? My first kiss. It had been so gloriously spectacular. The way he wrapped his arms around me made me feel like the most important girl in the world, but then my half-vampire body betrayed me. I had lusted after his blood. I actually considered what his blood would taste like. I envisioned biting him on his collar bone, not to drain him, but just to taste him, and indulge in him. I loved the way his muscles met at that part of his body, and I knew at that moment that I wanted to sample what I felt pulsing below his skin. I was completely appalled with myself. How could I?

I heard footsteps pacing outside my door. I could only guess that they were my father's. They finally stopped, and I could see the shadow of his feet under the door. "Can I come in and talk to you?" he finally asked. His voice was strained and distorted. He didn't sound like himself.

"Are you going to yell at me?"

"No, I just want to talk with you."

"Have you apologized to Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper yet?"

"Can I just come in, please?" I could tell he was getting frustrated with me.

"Suit yourself," I said nonchalantly. He slowly opened the door and came over to sit down on the sofa next to me.

"I'm sorry you walked into that," he said with sad eyes.

"Sorry that I saw it, or sorry that it happened at all?" I asked incredulously. I wouldn't let him off the hook easy.

"Ness, they should have chaperoned better. That's just the way I feel. I'm new to the teenage daughter thing, okay? Can I call for a ceasefire?" His posture was hollow and defeated. He was begging.

I sighed, rolled my eyes, and with my arms crossed over my chest I leaned back into the corner of the sofa. He looked so pained. His eyes were sunken and had dark shadows underneath them. His hair was in more disarray than usual. We sat quietly staring at each other for a moment. _You need a hug, don't you?_ I thought to him. His mouth twitched just the tiniest bit. He held out his arms for me, and I hugged him with all the love I could. After soaking in the embrace, he finally spoke in a voice I recognized.

"Are you okay about how tonight went? Do you have any questions?" he asked, finally with a more concerned fatherly posture than that of the tortured shell he'd been moments ago.

"Everything was so great until the bloodlust. I don't know what happened." I couldn't look him in the eye; it was too embarrassing. I sat hunched over staring, at my hands in my lap. This was not something I'd ever wanted to talk to Dad about.

He sat and thought for a moment. "You bit him a lot when you were a baby; when the imprint was probably strong and new. Perhaps you found that passion for him again…" he trailed off. I knew he didn't want to consider me having a "passion" for Jacob yet; I was still his little girl. He obviously wasn't ready for that. I could tell this was just as painful for him as it was for me. "...I know it's awkward to talk about, so I'll just leave this as generic as possible." He paused again to gather his thoughts. "In the heat of the moment, a lot of vampires will bite their mate. It can express another level of trust and intimacy. It's also a bit animalistic; vampires like to mark their territory," he told me with a smirk, not able to make eye-contact with me. I _did not_ need to know about what he and Mom did for a "higher level of intimacy." As far as I was concerned, I was a test-tube baby.

"Ugh, thanks for the 'Vampire Sex Ed' lesson," I said sarcastically.

He turned toward me and rested his arm along the back of the sofa as he gave me his patented "I want you to pay attention" look. "You can't hurt him because you're not venomous, but I request that you eschew any such activity until you marry, if you so choose." His anxiety about the subject was apparent as he clawed the back of the sofa. He hated this conversation just as much as I did. "I'm telling you this to ease your mind about what happened tonight, not to give you any ideas or permission." He held my gaze for a moment, kissed the top of my head, and stood up. "You need to get some sleep; it's getting late." For a vampire, he was being very fidgety. He obviously couldn't handle any more of this conversation.

"Thanks, Daddy."

He paused in the open door frame and turned around to look at me again. "I need you to know that you're just so important to me. I'm sorry I went a little crazy, but you're my daughter. So cut me some slack here, okay?" He shot me his signature half grin, and I gave him a reassuring nod. He gently shut the door behind him as he left.

Alice POV

Edward was such an over-reactor. I had it covered. I knew that they were going to kiss, and that she was going to be tempted to bite him…but I also knew that she wouldn't! He had to at least give me _some_ credit! If I had seen anything go wrong, I would have stopped it. In my opinion, the date had gone pretty flawlessly! Jacob was an absolute prince. He'd done everything Esme and I told him to do to help him prepare for the date, since he'd never really been on one. Overall, I think he did fantastic. He had made our girl so happy tonight!

Maybe I should have warned Nessie about how the night was going to wind up. I just didn't want to ruin it for her. She was being so indecisive now. One minute she'd decided to be with Jake, and the next she decided to run away. Every decision that she considered, all brought her to the same ending though. No matter what direction she chose, all roads led to Jake. She had flipped through twenty different scenarios for her future, but no matter what, I saw Jake being persistent and winning her heart in the end. That's why I was staying out of it. I wasn't going to let her know about the end of the night because it didn't matter. She would end up where she belonged no matter what.

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A/N

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	8. Carry Me

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.

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CHAPTER 7: CARRY ME

I thought that the night's sleep would have taken the edge off my unease about how the date with Jake had gone, but much to my chagrin, it had not. All throughout my morning, I was just as stressed as the night before. I couldn't get the bloodlust out of my mind. I wanted to _bite_ him. I'd never craved someone's blood before. My "vegetarian" lifestyle hadn't been a problem since I was an infant. I was slowly weaned off human blood, and I hadn't really given it much thought since.

It seemed as though every member of the family tried to comfort me. Could absolutely no one keep their mouth shut about my personal life? Why did everyone feel it was their business? There was only one person who had left me alone, and he was the person that I wanted to seek counsel from the most. I knocked on his office door.

"Grandpa, can I come in?"

"_You,_ my dear, never have to knock," he replied. His voice was calm and endearing. I opened the thick wooden door and walked into my grandfather's office. The walls were beautifully lined with old, leather bound books and museum-worthy paintings. The medieval medical journals had always been my favorite thing to peruse from his collection ever since I was a little girl. I sat down in one of a pair of Victorian era wooden armchairs in front of his desk. "What can I do for you?" he asked with a smile in his most professional doctor-like voice.

"I just need some guidance, I guess." I looked down at my lap. I couldn't make eye contact with him; I felt too hopeless. "I just don't know what to make of what happened last night. I'm really torn about it. I don't want to just be consumed by some Native American love-spell." I paused, but Grandpa waited for me to continue. He always knew when I needed to vent. "I know it's not that simple, but what happened last night just didn't feel like _me_. I felt like something else took over, and I just don't know what to think," I blurted out, and realized I'd been rambling. I was too horrified to admit to wanting Jacob's blood. Grandpa closed the book he had been reading, leaned forward onto the desk, and gave me a warm look that reflected how much he truly cared for me .

"Pain is a forest we all get lost in, Renesmee. Between the branches, hope can be so hard to see, and in the darkness, we've all got questions. We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering. You'll figure it out, dear." He paused for a moment in thought. A small smile crept onto his face, then he grinned shaking his head at me softly "You're growing up Renesmee, I'd bet last night was more of you than you realize. But, you're going to figure this out." His beautiful, warm voice was so calming.

"You really think so? It just felt so foreign to me...but I guess I've never really been in a situation like that, so maybe I don't have anything to base it on." I sighed and felt tears welling up in my eyes as I looked up at him. I was uncomfortable talking to my grandfather about this, but his face was always so phlegmatic. He was my constant, steady and unwavering foundation. One look at him could always calm me. "I'm just feeling lost," I finally said in a defeated tone.

He paused to put his hands up almost as if he was in prayer, then murmured, "Isaiah 46:4 says: 'I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.' Renesmee, _never_ _ever _feel lost or alone. You have a family that adores you to no end, a father who would walk through fire for you and a mother that was willing gave up her life to save you. You have grandparents who feel so immensely blessed just to have such a title, and aunts and uncles that love you as if you were their own. And when none of those people are around, you have a Heavenly Father that never leaves you." I rolled my eyes. I didn't mean to seem disrespectful, but I just never thought about things in that way.

He grinned again at my eye-roll. "I know I've been bringing it up a lot lately, but I feel you need to be reminded. James chapter one says, 'Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial.' My dear Renesmee, you are going through some heavy tribulations, and I couldn't be prouder of how you are dealing with it. You are nothing if not steadfast. You don't give yourself enough credit."

I knew his advice was sound, and that his biblical references were obviously faultless, but I couldn't understand how he could have possibly been proud of me. I'd done nothing to deserve it.

"Thanks, Grandpa," I said sheepishly, and then decided to steer the conversation away from any more "atta girls." "But what do I do about Dad? I can't deal with him going crazy like that every time I go on a date."

"Give him time; he'll figure it out," he said softly as he stood up from behind his desk and walked around to give me a hug. "I wish I could stay and talk to you longer, but my shift at the hospital is about to start. Shall we resume this subject later?" he asked rather formally as he kept me in his embrace.

"I'll be okay. Thanks, Grandpa." My words were muffled by his chest.

"Never forget who you are or where you came from," he said earnestly as he led me out of his office with his hand on my back.

I was about to head over to my piano to play for a while, when I heard a noisy vehicle pulling up in our driveway. With curiosity, I opened the front door to see a FedEx truck stop in front of the house. The portly driver who was dressed in the standard black and purple uniform, left the truck idling as he hopped out and opened the back of the truck while looking at a clipboard. I walked outside to greet him. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you Ren..Renez…" He squinted and studied his clipboard again.

"Renesmee," I said in an exasperated tone as I rolled my eyes. No one ever got my name right on the first try.

"Yeah, Ren-es-mee Cullen, is that you?" he asked slowly while desperately trying to pronounce my name properly.

"Do you have a package for me?"

"Sure do—a big one. All the way from Argentina," he replied as he pulled out a four-by-four foot crate, about a foot deep, with the word "_frágil_" plastered on both sides. "Can you sign for this please?" He handed me the clipboard as he awkwardly stared at me. I quickly scribbled a signature as I realized who it was from, and what it was—or rather what it was for. It was my birthday present from Nahuel, but as for what it _was…_I had no idea. The man stood still for a moment, still gawking at me. I quickly thanked the delivery man and hauled the crate inside. I should have pretended to struggle more with it, but I was too excited to feign normalcy. Once I had the front door closed behind me, I turned around and found my mom waiting to see what had been delivered.

"It's my birthday present from Nahuel!" I told her with excitement.

"What the heck is it? Did he send _himself_? What could possibly need a whole _crate_ like that?"

"No idea," I said excitedly as I started to pry the wood apart. Crinkled filler paper shavings flew all over the entry way as I tore at the wooden slats of the crate. The top of an ornate Brazilwood frame peeked out of the filling. I slowly pulled the frame out to reveal a beautiful impressionist style painting of..._myself_. It was so obviously me, but it had Monet-like thick brush strokes. Up close, it looked like any generic bronze haired, brown eyed girl—but stepping back—it was obviously me. It was undeniable. In the very right-hand bottom corner of the painting was a red painted "N."

"He painted that?" My mom raised an eyebrow as she studied the painting. "It's an incredible likeness," she said, tilting her head at it inquisitively. "Who knew he had that kind of talent!"

"I know, right? It's beautiful." I couldn't believe it. I then noticed a yellow piece of paper sticking out from the back of the frame. I opened it and read it aloud:

_Dear Renesmee,_

_Happy Birthday. I hope you enjoy my painting. As lame as it might sound, I was inspired by your beauty during our last Skype session and had to paint you. I am so glad that I have been able watch you grow into the beautiful woman that you have become. Not only am I pleased to have somebody like me out there that isn't family, but I am so honored to call you my friend and companion._

_Sincerely, _

_Nahuel_

"Wow, that's quite the letter," Mom said with a surprised look on her face. "Companion? That's such a loaded word." She didn't seem amused in the slightest. The look she gave my painting then was one mixed with disgust and annoyance.

"Yeah, wow. Kinda crazy, huh? This painting is really incredible albeit a little awkward. Where am I supposed to hang it?" Could I really hang a painting of _myself_ in my bedroom? It just seemed awkward.

"I _knew_ he had a thing for you," she said, shaking her head. "I saw it even back then. I _knew it._" Her brow furrowed as she glared at my likeness on canvas.

"I don't think it's quite like that, Mom." I said in indignation with my hands on my hips. "We're the same. We understand each other in a way that I can't describe." I picked up the painting and looked at it closer. "It's weird because we've grown up in such different environments, but in some ways, I feel like he's my other half. Not my 'other half' kind of other half, but you know what I mean. He's the only other hybrid I've ever known. He understands my frustrations, concerns, limitations, and my feeling of not fitting in." I worried that I'd said too much. I wasn't sure if I'd ever fully conveyed to her how out of place I felt at times.

"I never knew that you felt like you didn't fit in," she said as she lovingly put her hand on my shoulder. Her eyes softened with concern.

"No, I mean, I know my place in the family, and I know that I'm loved and all...but I'm not as fast as you guys, and I'm not as smart, and I'm not as...vampiric. My heart beats. He knows what that's like." I stared at the painting remembering one such conversation.

"_I feel like I miss out on so much when I sleep. They have all this time where I'm not around." My mentally ten-year-old insecurities were getting the best of me._

"_Yeah, I hate getting tired. No one else seems to get tired. It makes me feel weak. I hate that." _

My mother's kiss on the top of my head brought me out of my reverie. "I think you worry too much, baby." She squeezed my shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile. "You're just more perfect than us; deal with it," Mom said with a wink as she left the room.

I took the painting up to my bedroom and propped it against the wall next to my book case. It was so beautiful. How long had it taken him to paint? I decided to write him a "Thank You" email, but before I could start, Jake's telling ring-tone started blaring. I considered ignoring the call but then decided to be brave and answered it.

"Hey, Jake," I said, with trepidation.

"Hey, Ness, I had a really great time last night, but it sounded like Edward was pretty pissed…" he paused "...I heard a little bit of the argument from the car. Are you okay? Are _we_ okay?"

I winced. His voice sounded strained. It hadn't dawned on me that Jacob probably heard everything.

"Yeah, we're good. Sorry you had to hear that. He was awful. I was so upset with him, but he's apologized, and I think he's okay now." I couldn't believe that it hadn't occurred to me that Jacob could hear my dad. Had he heard the whole discussion about my bloodlust?

"Good. Hey, do you mind if I come visit you tonight? Nothing big, I just want to see you. Maybe we could just go for a walk or something."

I wasn't sure if I was ready to see him again, but I couldn't turn him down. It would break his heart. "Sure, that sounds great, Jake. What time were you thinking?"

"Maybe around five? I thought I could get there in time for a little grub, and then we can just hang out." He was always hungry.

"Sounds good. I'll see you then.

"Mom!" I yelled from my room as I ended the call.

"No need to yell, honey, what's up?" she said as she ghosted into my room.

"Sorry. Jake is going to get here around five. Can we fix those short-ribs we have in the freezer?"

"I took them out of the freezer to defrost as soon as I heard he was coming." She smiled at me.

"Great, so you were listening?" _I never get any privacy in this house._

"Honey, it's hard not to… and yes. I guess I was," she admitted with a smirk.

"Great," I said sarcastically. "I'm so glad my privacy is respected."

"Unless we somehow vampire-soundproof your room, we really can't help it." I knew she was right. I loved my family, but it was just part of living in a large coven of vampires. No privacy was pretty much the norm.

"I've gotta go write Nahuel an email telling him that I got his present. I'll be down in a few to help with the short-ribs," I told her as I sat down at my computer.

….

To: junglecatNahuel (at) gmail. com

Subject: Birthday gift

From: halfnhalfNessie (at) me. com

_N,_

_I just received your beautiful painting. Thank you so much. I had no idea you had such a talent for painting! You never told me! I put it in my bedroom room next to my books so that I can always see it. :) _

_How are things going for you? Life has been pretty crazy for me. The Jake thing is weird, but I have to admit that I'm starting to really think that he and I might be right for each other. I know you have concerns, but trust me; Jake is a really great guy. You didn't really get to know him. Maybe someday you will. _

_I wish you would visit. It would be so nice to see you._

_R._

….

Mom put the short-ribs in the oven as I started to rinse the cooking utensils. We left the front door unlocked, inviting Jacob to walk right in.

"This smells so amazing. You know I would have been fine with macaroni and cheese," he said as he strolled into the kitchen and put his arm around me. His warm woodsy sent wafted over me. "How's your day been, Ness?"

"Pretty uneventful. Just family time, nothing big." I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. I didn't think he needed to know about my present from Nahuel. I worried he'd have the same reaction as my mom. "We've got a few hours until your food is ready. So, what do you want to do?"

"I thought we could just hang out." He turned to my mom and asked, "Mind if we go up to Nessie's room, or is that against the new Edward Law?" His sarcastic tone made Mom laugh.

"I think you'll be fine. Behave children," She mocked, shaking her finger in Jake's face.

"We could just hang out in the living room…" I said, trying to get him to not go up to my room, in fear that he might see the painting.

"Nah, upstairs is better." He took my hand and practically dragged me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. We both flopped down onto the green couch in my bedroom. He took a big breath, looking a bit nervous. "So, I dunno how to gently ease into this, so I'm just gonna be blunt. I want to talk to you about last night…about what I overheard Edward say…" he trailed off, obviously not knowing how to continue, but I knew he could only be talking about one of two things, so I kept it generic.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. I just wasn't expecting those kinds of feelings to bubble up in me, you know?" I stared at the wall. I was bad at making eye-contact during difficult conversations.

"I don't want you to worry about it too much. Like Alice pointed out to your dad last night, you're not venomous." _Great. That's what he was talking about._ I guess he really did hear everything. "Unless you try to rip me to pieces, I'm pretty sure I'll be just fine." He took my hand and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

"It just took me by surprise, that's all. I controlled it, but I have to be honest, it was difficult. I've never had a problem like that before. It was really disconcerting." I still couldn't look at him, but it felt good to get it out. "I didn't feel like me. I felt like the imprint just took over." I snuck a quick glance at his face and looked away again.

"Nessie, it's not the magic spell that you think it is. The imprint won't make you do anything you wouldn't already do, or that wasn't in your nature. If anything, it just enhances it a little. But then again, so does love and trust and comfort. All of those things can give you a little boost of confidence and emotion. A kiss with just anyone would never be as passionate as with someone you love. Please don't just blame all your feelings on the imprint. That feels like you're saying that without it you wouldn't want to be with me." His voice was unsteady. I hadn't chosen my words carefully enough. I knew I had hurt his feelings. I scooted closer to him on the couch to rest my head on his chest.

"That's not what I meant. Jake, you have to understand that all of this is brand new for me. I have nothing to reference this to. I really did have an amazing night last night…best night of my life, actually."

"It was the blue Gatorade that put the night over the top, huh?" We both laughed. Jake was so good at diffusing an awkward situation. "Look, Ness, in all seriousness, the imprint strengthens bonds, but it can't make the '_imprintee_' fall in love. That's the man's job." We were both silent for a moment. "I could be so good for you, Nessie," he blurted out, almost begging.

"Jacob, look at me." I waited until he made eye contact. "I have never doubted if you would be good to me. Ever." I sighed. "That's never been what my reluctance has been about, you know that. But for argument's sake, say we do decide to be together. What then? What happens to the pack? What happens when my family needs to move again?"

"As my imprint, you are my first priority," he said succinctly. "The pack comes second, and they would have a choice. They could follow us with your family to the next town, or they could rejoin Sam's pack. I've already discussed it with Sam, and he agrees this is the best option, and he would welcome any of them back to his pack with open arms. After a few years without vampire interaction, the pack's phasing will dwindle and eventually cease all together. I assume Leah, Seth, and Embry would follow us, and as soon as Claire is old enough, I think Quil would join us for at least a few years too." He paused in contemplation for a moment with his eyes squeezed shut, as if he was arguing with his own thoughts. "I wouldn't expect anyone that has imprinted to stay for long though," he continued. "They will want to grow old with their imprint and lead their own life away from pack obligations, and I don't blame them. In the meantime though, it would be nice to have them around for the obvious pack reasons since I'll want to keep phasing so that I don't age, but more-so for the increased protection for you and your family. I am aware of the threat that the Italian bloodsuckers pose to us, and I would like to be prepared with backup if they decide to get in our way again," he said resolutely.

The threat they pose to _"us?" _If they try to get in "_our"_ way again? I was taken aback by his possessive and inclusive use of his words. Did he really consider himself to be part of the family that much? As far as I was concerned, he was a part of the family as much as any best friend is considered a "secondary child" by the friend's mother…but for him to already be counting himself in the family? I found it a bit presumptuous—as if I had already chosen him back. I decided to table that discussion for another time and address more of my concerns in this prospective scenario.

"What about college? What about a job? And not just for you, but for the rest of them too?" I asked with frustration. Education was very important to me, and I was concerned that he might not be on equal ground with me intellectually in a few years.

"We'll take online courses, or maybe even attend a community college. Maybe Carlisle could help me with a business plan for opening up a chain of mechanic shops. We have the advantage of looking a lot older than your family. We wouldn't need to attend high school with you guys, and Embry has taken an interest in day trading. I wouldn't want to use your family's money," he said matter-of-factly. I wasn't sure how to respond to this new information.

"Honestly, it hadn't even occurred to me that the pack would want to come with us. None of them have full time jobs, right? If they don't want to use the family's resources—which you _know _they'd be more than welcome to—how are they going to make a living? Would they at least let us house and feed them?" I felt myself getting flustered. "I don't want you to just take a few online courses. I want you to go to college. Get an engineering, or kinesiology, or criminal justice degree…I don't care. I just need you to love learning as much as I do. I don't want us to be sitting across from each other at a kitchen table two-hundred years from now, me with doctorates in every field, and you just being content with what you learned in high school two centuries ago. We'll have nothing to talk about besides the weather!" I finished with a huff. I had just explained one of my biggest apprehensions about our future together. I worried that I'd hurt his feelings, but it felt so good to get this weight on my chest absolved.

"Is that really how you see me? Just some dumb dog that doesn't want to learn a new trick?" His tortured voice conveyed his heartbreak at my words.

"No, Jake…" I trailed off.

"I have many interests. I aspire for many things and, much to your dismay, I should inform you that I love to learn, and that I look forward to pursuing many different areas of discipline." His brow furrowed, and his hands started to clench. "I have been a little busy the past eight or so years, between keeping your mother alive, protecting my tribe, and risking the lives of my brothers to protect _you and your family_. I'm not exactly sitting at home watching soap operas every day," he said, snidely. With pursed lips, he stood up and started pacing…then he stopped in front of Nahuel's painting. "Wow, that's...amazing," he said, staring at the portrait as if it had bewitched him. He started to sniff at it the way a dog sniffs for a scent. "Who made this for you?" he asked with a gruff voice. I was pretty sure he already knew from the scent.

"It was a birthday present from Nahuel," I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I didn't know you kept in touch," he replied accusingly.

I shrugged my shoulders. "We correspond in emails and occasionally over Skype. He's a good friend. It was a very thoughtful gift." I was trying to calm him, but it didn't seem to help.

"I'll be forever grateful to him for what he did back then, but I don't understand why he painted you a picture of yourself for your birthday," he said with pursed lips. I could see the jealousy written all over his face.

"Jake, come sit back down. You're reading too much into this. It was a nice gift from a friend—nothing more," I all but pleaded. With a long sigh, Jake sat back down on the couch next to me. I deliberately placed my hand back in his, trying to soothe him. "Nahuel is a friend. Don't worry about it. But about earlier, I'm sorry. I know how smart you are, and that's why I got all crazy about it. I know your potential." I tried to calm him with compliments.

"Nessie, I know I'm not as refined as Carlisle or Edward but given the opportunity, I would sure as hell try." He was visibly calmer than he had been in the moments prior.

"I know that. I'm really not worried about it. Promise," I lied. I took a deep breath and let it out as if sighing. I had to change the subject. "I...I just keep thinking about the pack. Don't you worry that they would miss home and eventually resent us?"

"You underestimate their loyalty." He smirked. I knew talking about the pack would redirect his thoughts. "I'm their Alpha; their loyalty first and foremost lies with me—unless they're imprinted, _then_ I come second."

"And I'm supposed to be okay with them giving up their families and their whole lives for me?" The thought was so foreign to me. I could _never_ leave my family.

"Like I said, I don't see it being forever… and it wouldn't _technically_ be for you." He proudly raised his chin. "They'd follow me anywhere."

"Has an Alpha ever permanently left the tribe's territory before?"

"Not for any length of time, no." He sucked in a big breath through his nose, letting it out through his mouth. "No one has ever been in our situation before though. Tribe leaders have never needed or had to leave." He looked at me. His big brown eyes bore into mine. "I have a pretty damn good reason. You're no walk in the park, Nessie. But I love you all the same. You mean more to me than you could ever imagine."

I couldn't help myself any longer. I had to kiss him. Slowly, I put my hands on either side of his face. "I know you do," I whispered as our foreheads met. I closed my eyes, and our lips touched. His were so full and warm that they completely enveloped mine. He pulled me to him so that I was sitting across his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and slid his hand underneath my t-shirt to rest it on the small of my back. His warm touch felt divine on my skin. My fingers curled into his hair as he nibbled on my lower lip. The feel of his teeth made my head spin. I'd never felt anything like that before. It was the most erotic feeling—knowing that I was at his mercy, and that his teeth could slice through me at any moment. My tongue demanded entrance into his mouth, and with a bit of teasing, I was finally granted entrance. His tongue against mine made my stomach flip and my heart race. I noticed his heart racing too and that's when I smelled it again—his essence pumping through him beneath his beautiful tan skin that would feel like butter against my sharp teeth.

Jake pulled away, sensing my unease. "You okay?"

"Yeah…I just…have to get used to that I guess." I said with a halfhearted laugh, trying to cover for my embarrassment.

"I can't help it if I'm _that_ appealing to you," he joked as he brought my face to meet his. "Relax, Nessie," he whispered softly against my lips. "You won't hurt me," he said as he ran his fingers through my hair.

He looked me in the eyes. "You have no idea what you do to me when you kiss me like that. It's unreal." I kissed his jaw, behind his ear and down to his neck. The slower I kissed him, the more I noticed his heart pounding. He enjoyed my lips on his neck just as much as I enjoyed placing them there.

The timer from the kitchen sounded, ending our intimate moment. We smiled at each other in contentment and walked down to the kitchen hand-in-hand. I was still too full from yesterday's meal to eat at all today, so I just watched Jake. It was seven o'clock by the time he finished his meal.

"The sun is setting; want to go watch?" he asked me with a mischievous smile.

"Sure! Where do you want to go? We'll have to hurry." By the time we got anywhere to watch the sun set, I was pretty sure it'd be over.

"I have an idea." He grabbed my hand and led me to my bedroom, opened my window, and motioned for me to follow him. The roof of our house was the perfect vantage point to watch the pink sky fade over the spruce trees. We sat down on the gentle slope of the roof.

"Thank you," I said as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"For what?"

"This is so insanely romantic." I couldn't wipe off the huge smile plastered on my face. "Seriously, this is so beautiful." At that moment, I realized for the first time, that this could be my life. I could have a man that truly loved me and cared for me unconditionally. We would do wildly romantic things together, like watch sunsets on the roof and have movie nights in the middle of a forest. I saw my life with Jake, and it seemed like a fairy tale. I took in a deep breath of his scent and let it fill me. _This_ could be it. I could have this all the time.

"Day after tomorrow, any plans?" Jake asked as he yanked me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, I've got a date." I smiled, linking my arm through his.

"Good looking?" he asked sarcastically, still smiling.

"Painfully so," I replied with a sigh.

"I dunno, sounds like a dog to me," he laughed. I gave him a little shove.

"Yeah, totally," I said, rolling my eyes.

The sun had set. We sat next to each other in the dull glow of twilight in silence. Peaceful, comfortable, wonderful silence. I knew that there would be much more awkwardness in our future, but I was so grateful for the small respite from anxiety to just be able to enjoy his company. Time stopped completely. At that moment, I'd never felt more content in my life. In that moment, everything was perfect, but I knew it couldn't stay that way. Eventually, we'd have to leave our little bubble of tranquility on the roof of my house and enter reality again. There was so much that I hadn't figured out yet, but for the moment, I didn't care. I was with the most beautiful man in the world. A man that loved me unconditionally and knew everything about me. When the night finally became dark, we climbed back inside my window.

"So, day after tomorrow, six o'clock?" he said as he ran a hand through my hair.

"It's a date!" The next forty-eight hours would be torture. I didn't know if I could wait that long, but Jake had pack commitments the next night. I walked him to the front door to say goodnight.

Before he left, he kissed my hand. "Until we meet again m'lady," he said in a Shakespearean accent. He really had this wooing thing down. I gave an equally silly curtsey and went back inside.

"How'd your night go?" Mom asked from the living room. I walked in to sit on the couch with her. She was crocheting a fluffy light grey blanket with cashmere yarn. Not that my mom got cold, but she still liked to snuggle up in blankets and big comfy clothes. It was familiar to her and helped her feel more human.

"Kinda perfect actually. He's amazing. I'm so glad he came over. We watched the sunset from the roof." I couldn't hold back the huge smile that swept across my face.

"I'm so glad you had a good night. Next to your father and grandfather, he really is the best man I know. Actually, I should rephrase that. Your grandfather might be the best man I know. That guy is a saint. No one can compete. Your father though, he isn't a better man than Jake. He was just the better man for me. Jake was meant to be with you all along." Her hands kept the crochet hook moving with the yarn the whole time she spoke. The large blanket would only take her about an hour to make. Humans would need roughly ten hours to complete the intricate pattern of the blanket that my mom was whizzing through.

"They both have their flaws, that's for sure. Overall though, Jake seems really great. I'm just not sure if we're equally yoked, you know?" I said as I curled my legs underneath me and leaned in to the back of the sofa.

"In what ways?" she asked, concern clearly in her eyes.

"I dunno. Intellectually, spiritually…I mean, he doesn't seem to really have any sort of career goals or ambitions. He says he likes learning and has many educational interests, but I don't see it. I'm honestly worried that he'll just be happy being a mechanic." I knew he was her best friend, but I thought she'd understand what I meant.

"Is there really anything wrong with being a mechanic?" she asked accusingly. "You've never been one to worry about stuff like that." Her concerned expression made me wish that I had talked to Aunt Rose about this instead.

"There's nothing _wrong_ with it, per se…but I want to always be learning. I want to be a doctor like Grandpa. He's so smart. I swear he knows everything, but he never stops studying. Forever is a long time, and if I'm really going to live for an eternity, I need to keep it exciting. I worry Jake won't be able to keep up. I asked him about school, and he mentioned community college. What kind of ambitious person aspires for community college?" I knew I was sounding snobby and elitist, but I didn't care. These were legitimate questions in my mind.

"Jake is very smart; he just hasn't ever really had the opportunity to pursue a higher education. The pack takes up all of his time, and when he's not with them, he's here with us. It won't always be like that, Renesmee. You can't fault him for his lack of education. He started phasing when he was only sixteen. Ever since then he really hasn't had much time for school. It won't be like that in the future. He'll be able to devote a lot more time to studies. He's very smart, Renesmee. It saddens me that you don't see that in him. Jake is extremely skilled with his hands, and it's what he loves. I think he'll ultimately choose a profession where builds some sort of machine or something. He understands how things work though. He'd be a great electrical engineer. Whatever he ends up doing though, you can guarantee that he'll do it with fervor. Jake is a very passionate person. Please do not underestimate him. He is more than worthy of having a place in our family." Her soft golden eyes bored into mine. She really seemed hurt at my question.

"You're right, I think I'm just looking for excuses," I said halfheartedly. It might have been true, but I was just saying it to appease her. Following our discussion, I stayed downstairs for a while, watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy with her, and then went up to my bedroom to get ready for bed.

_Is Mom right? Am I over thinking this? Jake really hasn't had time yet to pursue an education. Why am I so hard on him? _ I thought, as I stripped, leaving my clothes in a trail on the floor from my bed into my bathroom, and stepped into the shower. I sat on the bench in my shower, letting the hot water cascade over me. The massaging droplets of water relaxed me. I closed my eyes and started to pray.

I've been thinking today about what Grandpa said about how You bless those who persevere under trial. Abba, I'm totally feeling under trial. I'm just so conflicted in every way. I'm conflicted physically by my body's vampiric response when we kiss, and I'm conflicted emotionally by the level of influence the imprint can have on me. We all essentially have our crosses to bear, obviously Yours was literal and makes mine feel inconsequential… but I just really feel so confused and pressured right now.

I haven't really given You much thought until recently, but I know Your promises are faithful, and I've seen your goodness in my family's life. I'm trying to give You glory in the midst of this, but to be honest, I have no clue how. I'm not even sure I know what that means. This morning with Grandpa, he mentioned how you're here with me. You say I am blessed because of this so, I choose to believe, as I carry this cross, you'll carry me. Please help me believe it. Amen.

I'd never been a religious person. No one in the family except for Grandpa really was, and he didn't push it. I felt as if I was finally getting it though. Grandpa was the smartest man I knew, and if he was serious about it, I should be too. I stepped out of the shower, smelling like the lavender shower gel Aunt Rose bought me last month, and wrapped myself in a fluffy white terrycloth robe.

Just as I was about to start blow drying my hair, a new email sounded on my computer. I knew it was probably from Nahuel, but part of me hoped that it was just a mass email from Neiman Marcus about winter boots or warm coats. I didn't know what to think about the painting, and I was worried Mom had been right. I sat down at my computer and there it was: an email from Nahuel.

….

To: halfnhalfNessie (at) me. com

Subject: Re: Birthday gift

From: junglecatNahuel (at) gmail. com

_R,_

_I'm so glad to hear that you like the painting. I have many talents that you don't know about. :) _

_I'll keep this short, but I wanted to let you know that I've decided to take you up on your open-ended offer to come visit. I leave tomorrow night and arrive in Canada the next night. I have a long layover in Los Angeles…it was the only way to book a flight so quickly. All the more direct flights or shorter layovers were all booked. I know that it's last minute, but hopefully you won't mind. _

_I haven't seen you in so long, and I thought it was about time that we catch up in person. See you soon._

_N._

….

Rosalie POV

Edward was so ridiculous when Nessie returned from her date. I couldn't imagine what that would have been like for her to walk in on. Poor thing, she had enough on her plate without my idiot brother making it worse. I worried that Jake was rushing her. I hoped all his "I love you's" weren't making her feel pressured to say it back. She deserved to be courted and treated carefully, and I felt that Fido was just trying to rush the whole process.

I still hadn't gotten used to the idea of him becoming part of the family, but I knew we were stuck with him…stuck with him and his pack too, by the sound of it. It couldn't hurt to have the extra protection, but I would rather have it some other way.

I loved Renesmee more than I thought I could ever love someone. As her Godmother, I had a major part in helping raise her and took pride in how she had turned out. She had become the most kind and wonderful little lady, and I was so afraid that Jake was going to ruin everything. She had been an absolute mess since she found out about the imprint, and I didn't see it getting easier for her any time soon. Nessie was a stubborn little thing, and I loved that about her. She wasn't going to go down without a fight. I knew he loved her, but for me, that wasn't the point and I knew it wasn't for her either. Her problem with the whole thing wasn't the _who_ it was the _how. _But I would do whatever it took to make sure this process was as easy for her as possible. Even if that meant trying to make nice with Jake.

I just wanted our girl to be happy, even if that meant she'd be in the arms of a dog.

—

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A/N

This chapter has been inspired by Audrey Assad's song: Carry me.

http: /www .youtube. com/watch?v=hy8y6dDzYcE (take out spaces)

**~Please review! It's the only way I know if people are enjoying my story or not. I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear your thoughts! :)**

Thank you to everyone who has favorited/alerted my story. I am so glad you are enjoying it! :) xxoo

**A MILLION THANKS TO MY AMAZING "PROJECT TEAM BETA" BETAS!**

**Nikki Halen**- My character's emotional maestro. Without you, my story would have no depth. I love your comments like: "What did so-and-so think about this?" "describe what it looked like." I love that I teach you new words with every chapter. :)

**Jennrosee**- My punctuation prodigy! Lady, you rock. Seriously. :) I'm sorry that comma splices make you sad. ;) I'm working on it!

Also, a big shout-out to my new friend, awesome author, and magnificent pre-reader, **Content1**. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ HER STORIES, STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING FOR THE NEXT WEEK, TAKE A VACATION FROM WORK IF YOU HAVE TO... AND READ THEM! You will thank me later.


	9. Plans

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. All credit goes to her for the lines utilized from her books.

_A/N: _

_I'm sorry it has taken me so long to update Providence. I was busy writing an entry for The Canon Tour called "Monthly Interruptions." I also wrote a lemony one-shot of Alice and Jasper for Providence between chapters 6-7 called "All the King's Horses."_

**_Please review! Your reviews mean so much to me!_**

**_*I've received a lot messages about Nessie being too wishy washy in this chapter. I promise there is a reason! Please stick with it for a few chapters and you'll figure out why. :)_**

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CHAPTER 8: PLANS

I didn't know what to make of Nahuel's sudden urge to come visit. The timing did seem a little suspicious. Mom thought so at least. When I told the family that he had decided to come for a visit, the information was met with mixed reviews. Dad seemed to think there was nothing odd about the timing unlike my mother did. Grandpa was mostly just excited at the opportunity to spend more time with another hybrid. He had so many questions for Nahuel. Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett seemed to side more with Mom. Aunt Rose had even gone so far as to say that he wasn't welcome, and that he wasn't allowed to hunt while he was here. Nahuel hadn't adopted our vegetarian lifestyle as I'd hoped. Aunt Rose said that if he wanted to eat, it would be human food or nothing. Aunt Rose liked it here and didn't fancy the idea of someone messing up her or her family's anonymity. Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper were pretty silent, mainly because Aunt A couldn't see him coming and was upset that her gift was still silent for Nahuel. My clairvoyant aunt never liked to "fly blind" as she called it.

I had no idea how I felt about the impending visit. I was looking forward to seeing him, but the timing did seem a little odd, even to me. I didn't want to tell Jake, but I had a feeling my family wasn't going to give me much choice. Nahuel would be arriving around eleven thirty at night, depending on his mode of transportation from the Vancouver Airport to Prince Rupert, which meant he'd be getting here right around the time when my date with Jake would be over. How fortuitous.

Jake had something planned for me tonight back on the reservation, but he was very vague as to any details. He just said that he thought it might help. Help what? I wasn't sure. He had changed our plans last night when he called to let me know that he was picking me up at noon instead of six, like we'd decided. I was told to dress casual and comfy, and so I was.

I had spent a good forty-five minutes in my closet with Aunt Alice trying to come up with a casual, thrown together, effortlessly chic look. Not as easy as it sounds. We decided on a pair of equestrian style leggings, riding boots, and a tribal knit poncho; I loved how in vogue tribal prints had become. My perfectly coiffed "I just threw my hair into a pony tail" look was just being finished by my fairy godmother when I heard my dad open the door for Jake downstairs.

"Can I have a word with you, Jake?" I heard my father ask.

"Sure, everything okay?"

"Not really. I need to apologize for my behavior the other night. I know you heard everything. You didn't deserve that." He sighed. "You treated her like a princess the whole night. I have a hard time releasing control of things that are important to me. You know that. Nothing is more important than my daughter, and I overreacted. Although I did think the physicality of that night was a bit over the top, I trust my daughter, and I trust you. I know you will always keep her best interests at heart, and so, I'm sorry for turning into a raving lunatic." He trailed off.

"You're a dad. I get it. Trust me; I get how totally awkward this must be for you. It's weird for me too. You know just as well as I do though, Nessie…" he paused and with a whisper, continued, "she belongs with me. You know that."

"Of course I know that, but give her some time to come to that conclusion on her own." My dad sounded so sure.

I wanted to be sick. "She belongs with me?" I belong where ever I darn well want to belong. Aunt Alice tried to stop me, but she knew her attempts were futile. I stomped down the steps and stormed into the living room where they were sitting. Dad sat straight up as if he'd been caught with a bomb at TSA. The guilt on his face said it all. He knew how much what he'd said upset me.

"You're right, I had no right to agree that you _belong_ to him," Dad said using air quotes around the word _belong._

"Nessie, I didn't just mean that you belong with me; we belong _together_. I haven't kept that a secret. You know how I feel about it, but I'm trying to let you figure it out for yourself." Jake stood and walked toward me. "I'm sorry, Ness. I didn't mean it like that."

I grandiosely rolled my eyes with my hands on my hips. "You most certainly meant it Jacob Black, but I'm going to chalk this up to your enormous ego and let it slide. Supposedly, we've got something to go to this afternoon, or something?"

"Yeah, we actually should get going. I'll have her back by midnight at the latest," he said to my father.

"Good luck tonight," Dad told him with a quick man-hug.

"Good luck with what? Dealing with your vexation of a daughter?" I threw at him.

"Well that's not what I was referring to, but now that you mention it, yeah," Dad said with a smirk. "Good luck with my pain in the neck daughter as well."

"I think I got it covered. Thanks," Jake said as he sarcastically raised his eyebrows at me.

Mom and Aunt Alice finally came downstairs to come to my rescue and shooed Jake and me out the door. As we walked away from the house, I heard Aunt A chiding my dad for making the whole thing so awkward. I'd have to remember to thank her later.

I spent most of the run down to the reservation on Wolf Jake's back. As much as I enjoyed running with him, sometimes I just wanted to be carried. It was so chivalrous; it made me feel special. We were met by the pack as soon as we got onto the Quileute land, and all of the wolves began walking at a slow pace. It seemed formal and rather ceremonial as the wolves flanked us on each side in a V formation. Seemingly out of nowhere, Sam's pack showed up, and they all exchanged brief glances before joining the formation. Sam took his place next to Jake at the point of the V. I couldn't have been more confused if they'd all turned into cheetahs.

We finally arrived at the tree line. I still had no idea what we were doing. Jake knelt down for me to dismount, and then nudged me with his large, wet nose to turn away from them as they all phased back to their human form. Silently, and very seriously, a shirtless Jake took my hand, and we continued to walk in the same formation to the middle of the village. It seemed as though the whole tribe had gathered.

"What's going on?" I whispered to Jake.

"Just pay attention, okay?"

We were ushered into a small "town hall" style building with rows upon rows of chairs. Jake escorted me over to Emily who handed him a black t-shirt, and we sat down in the front row on the right side of the isle. She looked excited, and I had no idea why. "Will you please tell me what's going on?"

"Just watch."

"That's what everyone keeps saying. Can't you just tell me?" I whispered back.

"Shh, it's about to start," she silently mouthed to me with her index finger to her lip.

The seats were quickly filling. Everyone in the tribe seemed to be present. All but two of the tribe elders sat opposite me in the front seats on the left side. I wondered if Billy would be the one to speak. Almost as if I had Alice's talent, Sue Clearwater instantaneously escorted Billy up the ramp and onto the small stage in front of us.

Even from his chair, Billy looked like a majestic leader on the stage. His voice boomed with authority. "Thank you, everyone, for gathering together this afternoon." He paused to clear his throat. "I appreciate you taking time out of your schedule to be here. I speak on behalf of the elders tonight when I say that we have come to a decision with great consideration. We feel that it is time to usher in a new era of elders for the tribe. We are getting older, and the tribe is growing and changing, and with it, breeds new opportunities.

We have decided to implement a new tribal council. With this new council, we have decided that the Quileute Nation needs to become more of a functioning government, which is why we have also decided that it is time for our tribe to have a chief again. The chief will be the head of the new council, will oversee our court system, will appoint other positions, and will serve as our ambassador to the surrounding tribes and communities." Billy paused again, seemingly to gather himself. "The Elders and I thought long and hard about who this new chief should be. We had a few ways to go about appointing the position. The first and seemingly easiest was by bloodline. Ephraim Black was the last chief and there seemed to be a pretty clear heir to his position. Making this just about blood though would lead us to a monarchy, and we didn't want that. We also took into consideration who would be the best leader, the fairest judge, and the most appropriate ambassador." Billy actually blushed through his wrinkled tan skin. "The good news for us was that all of those qualifications lead us to the same man. The tribal council has decided that my son, Jacob Black, great grandson of Ephraim Black, will be the new chief of the Quileute tribe." Billy was overcome with emotion, chin quivers and all. Jake stepped up to the stage to stand beside his father and bent down to hug him.

Standing next his father, Jake stood taller and prouder than I'd ever seen. "I am honored that this position has been given to me. I love this tribe and everything that we stand for. I accept it with great care and responsibility. I have spent the last few years defending this land, and during that time I have come to know most of you very well, and I just want to let you know how much I appreciate your support and your acceptance. At this time, I would like to appoint the rest of the council. Sam Uley will be second in command and will take my place whenever I am not on the reservation. As most of you know, my imprint is not a member of the tribe and because of this; I will not always be local. I love this tribe and this land, but my imprint will always come first. The elders, along with Sam and I, have spoken at great length about how this will affect my duties, and the good news is that it shouldn't be affected too much because of technology. I will always be reachable by phone and email. The rest of the council will consist of Quil Ateara, Embry Call, Paul…" As Jake continued to speak, I realized that I wasn't even listening anymore. _Jake__—__My __Jake__—__was __chief? __Wow __he __looks __great __up __there. __So __confident. __So __beautiful. __Was __this __what __he __wanted __me __to __see? __Did __he __just __want __to __show __me __that __he __wasn__'__t __just __some __uneducated __kid?_ I had really not chosen my words well that night. I never meant to make him feel so benign. _He __really __does __have __perfect __lips._ _Jeez, __Nessie, __pay __attention!_ "…some new ideas that I think could benefit everyone, but before we get into our regular tribe meeting, I think we should take a short break and resume here in twenty minutes." He sounded so official. I was still in shock that this was all happening.

Jake stepped off the stage and came to my side. "So, what do you think?" He smiled.

"Wow, Chief Jacob!" I grinned. "That's incredible! How long have you known about this?" I asked as he laced his fingers with mine.

"Well it's been in the works for a while, but I just found out for sure yesterday." His posture, the sparkle in his eyes…he looked so proud. So confident.

"So, what is the rest of the meeting going to be about?"

"It's kinda like a business meeting. We'll go through financials, discuss problems and try to solve them, you know, that kind of stuff." He shrugged. "The rest of the meeting should only last about an hour."

The meeting took more like two and a half hours, but by the end, Jake had proposed a new public relations plan to bring in more tourists to First Beach, solved a quarrel between neighbors, and formally made an amendment to their bylaws to state an alliance, not just tolerance of my family. I had never been more proud of Jake. He looked so grown up, so official, and so content. Every now and then during the meeting, he had made eye contact with me and gave me a tiny smirk, almost as if he was saying, "See? I _am_ the man you're looking for. I've got plans for us." Throughout the rest of the night, I started to agree.

Leaning against two large pieces of drift wood, we sat on a blanket at First Beach, eating barbecue chicken from a Tupperware container that Emily had given us.

"So, an alliance huh? I thought most of the tribe was under the impression that werewolves and vampires were myths."

Jake quickly finished the chicken leg he'd been devouring and licked the barbecue sauce from his fingers before he spoke. "After everything that has happened in the past few years, the tribe has been made more aware. There was no need for them to know when the shape-shifting gene was dormant, but now that there is such a large pack, we had to clue them in. Some of them—kinda like Charlie—don't really want to know. But the 'giant wolf' sightings were beginning to run rampant. Most of the tribe knows all about us now—who we are, who's in what pack, and all about the imprinting phenomenon."

"How'd they handle _that_?" I asked with a laugh.

"It was pretty rough at first, but it explained a lot of people's unanswered questions. Emily was relieved to not be thought of as a home wrecker anymore. The only person who wasn't so happy about it was Quil. He was afraid people would think of him as a pedophile, but people were actually really cool to him about it. The thing is, the packs are respected as the protectors of the tribe. Most of the tribe gives a lot of reverence to the packs, so they pretty much stay out of our business. Not to mention how much easier patrolling has become without all the hassle of trying to be covert on the land we're trying to protect." He draped his large arm around me and pulled me in close to him. His familiar woodsy scent warmed me from the inside out.

"What do they know about my family though?" I asked with concern, thinking of the Volturi as I rested my head on his broad shoulder.

"They know that there was a treaty in place, and that the Cullens didn't come on our land, but obviously things have changed. Carlisle took good care of me after the fight with the newborn army. I think that was a big turning point for a lot of people, especially Billy. I thought it was important to amend the treaty and to formally enter into a new era of cooperation, not only with your family, but other tribes as well. Most of the tribe is aware of my strong allegiance to your family." He paused and pulled me in closer to him. "I had a very in-depth meeting yesterday with the elders to go over the changes that I wanted to propose. One of the things I addressed was our lack of allies in neighboring tribes. Over the years, the Quileutes have gained a reputation as an unfriendly or uncooperative tribe. Some of it dates back to the time of the Spirit Warriors when the neighboring tribes grew scared and threatened by us. We've never done anything to try to repair that damage. After a bit of a heated discussion, the elders finally agreed with me when I named the Cullens as our strongest ally. I felt it was time to formally address the prejudice in the tribe and make it clear that not only is your family not the enemy, but they are our friends," Jake said with conviction seeping through his warm, familiar voice. He was still in Chief mode.

"I'm really proud of you," I told him as I repositioned myself to sit across from him so that I could see his eyes as I spoke. "I have some apologizing to do. I'm so sorry that I underestimated you. I feel so foolish. I should have known you were capable of all this. You've been such a great Alpha; your pack has so much respect for you. I'm sorry I didn't see more of the leader in you." I felt tears welling in my eyes. There was no use fighting them. "I can't convey to you how much I regret saying those things to you."

He abruptly cut me off and took my hands. "Nessie, it's okay. You never really got the opportunity to witness that side of me. I don't fault you for what you said. You had valid concerns. Your feelings are always important to me, and I never want you to feel that you have to hold back from telling me anything. I just needed you to see that I am capable. I needed to show you that I can be what you need," he told me as he wiped tears from my face with his thumb. "I needed you to see that I have the drive and the passion that you were talking about. I just needed you to see," he repeated again, almost in a whisper.

"Jake, I _do_ see. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so sorry for putting you through all this and making you jump through so many hoops. You're everything I could ever want in a mate. I get it now. I see it." I blubbered as I lunged forward at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him with tears still streaming down my face. His arms immediately consumed my body in a reassuring hug letting me know that everything was going to be okay. The tears kept rolling down my face as his lips sweetly started to calm my fears. His hands found my face, and he pulled it from his so he could look me in the eyes.

"I love you so much," he said as tears began to fill his eyes too.

"Jacob, I love you too. I'm so sor—" He brought his hand to my mouth to keep me from apologizing another time. Without a word, and without his eyes leaving mine, he lay down on his side onto the soft sand and held his arms out for me to join him. Words were no longer needed. We'd said all that we needed to say and heard all that we needed to hear.

I intertwined my legs with his as I slowly lay down with my body flush against him. Jake immediately wrapped his arms around me and rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him. The heady feeling of my body being supported by his was more than I could handle. I captured his warm lips with mine, more passionately than I ever knew was possible. My head began to spin as his tongue traced the outline of my lower lip. Jake's hands slid down to the seat of my jeans, lingering for a moment, and then with one swift motion, he slid his hands to my thighs and dragged them out to each side of him. My legs found the sand on either side of his hips, leaving me straddled over him in a very compromising way, but I didn't care. He was my mate—my imprint, and I loved him. My Jacob. I moaned his name against his mouth as he slowly rolled me over on my side and then onto my back so that he was hovering over me. His warm brown eyes were full of love as he paused for a moment to look at me.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered in my ear as he slowly lowered his body onto me. I could feel the full length of his erection through his pants and instinctually moved my hips, grinding them into his. He responded with equally eager motions against me. The sensation that tore through me sent sparks from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. He fluttered kisses up my jawline before he started doing unimaginably wonderful things to my ear with his mouth. I never knew ears could be such an erogenous zone, but I couldn't even pay attention to what he was doing anymore. Whatever it was, nibbling, kissing, licking, I had no idea, but it was working. I closed my eyes in pleasure as I slid my hands into is thick hair while he introduced me over and over again to new exhilarating sensations. A heady desire that I couldn't interpret kept building within me. I ached for _more_ of him. I had to _have_ him. His body called for me, and I had to answer. Before I even realized what was happening, I sunk my teeth into his the base of his neck, unable to resist the mind-blowingly sweet call of his blood. He tasted just as I remembered. Exotic, gamey, and…

"Nessie, the phone," Jake whispered in obvious pain. I snapped out of my intoxicatingly orgasmic bloodlust with the sound of his voice.

"Aunt Alice?" I said as I picked up the phone.

"Get up, and come home right now, young lady. What did I tell you about keeping it vertical? You better make sure there isn't even a hint of the scent of his blood on you when you get home. I can hide a lot from your father, but _that_? I can't hide that." Aunt Alice was livid. She rarely ever spoke to me so sternly.

"Please don't tell my dad," I begged.

"Just get home," she growled.

"Aunt Alice…" I started to apologize, but she'd already hung up the phone.

As I came back down to Earth from the high of the bloodlust, the reality of the situation started to sink in. "Jake! Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay!" He sat next to me, unmoving. "Talk to me, Jake!"

"I was trying to take a minute to clear my head. I'm so sorry Nessie. I let you down. I shouldn't have let things get so physical tonight. I'm really so sorry. Seriously though; I'm fine. I'm practically already healed. You only got a pint or so. I'll be completely replenished in another fifteen minutes. Please don't worry." His words threw me. _How__could__I__not__worry?_

"Jake…I _bit_ you!" My own words horrified me to no end. How had I let this happen?

"Nessie, I'm fine." He took my hand and kissed it, letting me know that his words were sincere.

"You were in pain," I said as sobs rippled through me. "I put you in excruciating pain!" My penchant for self-loathing was beginning to rival my father's as I sunk deeper into despair. "How can you be so cavalier about this?" The tears incessantly streamed down my face; I couldn't wipe them away fast enough.

"Nessie, it's not the first time. It's okay. The pain wasn't _that_ bad…and if I'm honest, there was something kind of sexy about it." He smiled. "You completely freed yourself to experience _us_. I'm just so sorry that I let it go so far." His voice was soft and calm as he tried to soothe me. His hair was still disheveled from our "encounter," so to speak. It was hard to be too serious when he looked that way—one part silly boyish charm, one part sexy, weak-knee inducing _man_.

We stopped by a convenience store on the way home to pick up a large bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. My father hated the smell, but he knew that I loved them. It was the perfect cover. Jacob had always been good at covert ops like that.

The closer to home we got, the more nervous I became. I knew I was going to have to tell Jake about Nahuel; I just didn't want to ruin the night even more. Jake was going to be upset, but I had to choice. I had to warn him that Nahuel would be at the house when we arrived. There just seemed to be no good way to tell him. Ripping the band-aid off quickly seemed to be the best approach. "Jake, there's something I didn't tell you," I blurted out as soon as we entered the family's property line.

"Why do I not like the sound of this?" He stopped to face me with his eyebrows pulled together, and his jaw noticeably tensed.

"Yeah, well…It's nothing so don't flip out. Nahuel is coming to visit. Actually he'll probably already be at my parents' place when we get there. Just please be nice, okay?" I said with a smile that he knew was just for show.

"What the f…" he stopped himself, balled his hands into fists and took a few deep breaths before he tried again. "What is he doing here, Nessie?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"He just wanted to visit. It's been so long, and he just thought it was time that we catch up."

"Right," he said snidely as he started walking toward my house with a quickened pace.

Before we could even walk up the driveway, Dad was waiting in the middle of the street. _Crap__he__knows_. The anger written all over his face told me that he knew.

"Go home, Jake. You disobey my rules regarding my daughter and you lose the privilege of her company for the time being. Go. Home." My father's voice was cold and stern as he stared down my suitor.

"Edward, I'm sorry. We got caught up in the moment. She's fine and I'm fine…" he trailed off.

"I don't care who is _fine_; I care how you treat my daughter and our family's boundaries. Go home, Jacob. We'll discuss this later." Dad snarled and took my arm and with more force than usual, spun me to face him. "First of all, are you okay?" he asked staring into my eyes almost as if he were searching for a crimson hue. "I'm a little freaked, but I'm okay. Please relax, Daddy." By the time I turned back around to face Jacob, he was gone. I could faintly hear a few sorrowful howls in the distance from the south as we turned back toward the house.

"Those Doritos smell disgusting, but they're not _that_ powerful," he chided as he put his arm around me.

"I'm terrible at hiding things from you." I kept my head down, staring at my shoes as we walked. There was no way I could look him in the eyes. I knew he was beyond disappointed with me.

"You're torturing yourself enough for the both of us about this. I'm not going to make it any worse. I set those guidelines for your own protection…because I love you." He stopped and waited until I finally looked at him. "I love you so much. I just worry; that's all. Nahuel is here though, so we'll talk more later. He's really looking forward to spending time with you," he told me as he took my hand and headed up the steps to the house.

As soon as we walked through the door, I saw him—tall, dark and handsome—in every way opposite of Jacob. His lean frame was in stark contrast to Jacob's, as was his olive complexion when compared to my Quileute's russet skin tone. Nahuel's face was long and angular with incredibly pronounced cheekbones and an impressively strong jawline. His features were overt and classically handsome in comparison to Jacob's subtle but equally intense beauty.

"Renesmee, it's been too long," Nahuel said warmly as he rose from his spot on the couch to greet me. His familiar teak and leather scent immediately took me back to the first time I met him on the would-be battle field all those years ago.

"You made it," I said with a smile as I closed the gap between us to quickly hug him. He seemed to linger, so I awkwardly pulled out of the hug and came to sit down in the living room next to my mother.

The next hour of small talk was decently painless but utterly boring. I sat fidgeting: crossing and uncrossing my legs, absently twirling a piece of hair, and repositioning myself on the couch. Nahuel and I kept in frequent contact, so I already knew everything going on with him. It was finally Grandpa that noticed my boredom but misconstrued it into thinking I wanted alone time to catch up with Nahuel when really, I just wanted to go up to bed and call Jake.

"Well, I think it's about time we let Nahuel and Renesmee catch up on their own," Grandpa suggested. "Maybe you could give him a tour of the property," he said to me.

"Yeah, great idea. Nahuel, you wanna take a walk?" I could have feigned more enthusiasm, but I wasn't in the mood.

My brain was totally consumed with my horizontal time with Jake…and the taste of his blood. I had perfect recall of the flavor of Jake's blood from when I was a baby. But in the heat of the moment, as a woman, it was a completely different experience. I couldn't get the thought out of my head. Though the taste was divine, I warred with myself over the consequence of my actions. Not only had I caused Jacob physical pain, but I had blatantly disobeyed one of the only hard-and-fast rules that my father had ever set for me. My parents were very clear about their feelings about purity. Intimacy of that degree was something wonderful that was made to be enjoyed—within the context of marriage—not on the beach with your pseudo-werewolf-almost-boyfriend.

The day had been a huge deal for Jacob. He became Chief of his tribe for crying out loud! _That_ is how I show him that I'm proud of him? I drink his blood like the leech I know some of Sam's pack still believes I am?

"You take the lead!" he said as he stood up and gestured with his arm for me to lead the way. His eyes had a sparkle in them that I hadn't seen in a long time. I led him out the door and around the side of the house toward the garage, still deep in thought.

"Okay, spill it. What's wrong?" Nahuel asked as he leaned against the side of the garage.

"I'm just having a really hard night. I don't want to talk about it," I told him as I leaned against the wall next to him.

"Since when can you not tell me things? Who understands you better than _me_?" Nahuel turned toward me and put a hand on my shoulder to comfort me.

"We can't talk here," I whispered while gesturing back to the house. Nahuel rolled his eyes letting me know he understood what I meant.

"Why don't you show me that cliff you always talk about?" he said at a normal volume so that my family could hear.

"The one that overlooks the water?"

"Yeah, is it close?"

"Close enough. Let's go," I said to him as I turned back toward the house and spoke to my family. "We won't be long. I'm going to show Nahuel the cliff."

"Don't be too long," my father replied from inside the house.

I led the way quickly through the trees and into the forest. I knew the way to my favorite spot so well, I could walk there with my eyes closed. A hike that would have taken a human two hours in the daylight took us fifteen minutes. We were in the clearing in no time.

"Stunning," he said as he took in the view. He sat on the edge of the cliff, letting his feet dangle over the edge. I stood back for a second, taking in the salty sea breeze. "Come sit down and tell me what's wrong."

"Have you ever bit someone…in the heat of the moment?" I whispered as I sat down next to him on the edge of the craggy cliff. I really loved this spot. I was already feeling more relaxed. The sound of the crickets in the forest behind me mixed with the ocean crashing on the rocks below calmed me.

"I'm pretty sure we all have." He chuckled as he leaned back to rest on his elbows. "Lemme guess, the shapeshifter's blood called out to you while things were getting physical?"

"Without getting into details, yeah. While we were kissing. I have no idea what came over me. I don't know how I can forgive myself," I cried to him.

"Forgive yourself? For your instincts? For being who you are? I don't know whether to be more outraged or more sad to hear you say that. Look, your vegetarian family makes you sacrifice enough. Now they have you feeling guilty for your sexual bloodlust? Renesmee, come on. You have to know this is ridiculous. How can you be expected to deny your very nature?"

"Because I could hurt him! Don't you get that?"

"Yes, I do. That's what I mean. I don't understand why you'd want to be with him. He makes no sense for you. You can't turn him like your father turned your mother. What do you expect to happen? He's not like us. He'll never fully grasp what you're dealing with. You have to know that a relationship with a human can't end well. And for all intents and purposes, he's a human, Renesmee. You, on the other hand, are not."

The more I listened to Nahuel, the more sense he made. My family didn't care at all about my wants and needs. They had their own agenda for my life. All of a sudden, everything in my life seemed force fed to me. Did I only love the piano because my dad told me that I should? I had such a passion for playing, but maybe it was just because I had been told to love it. Did I really love fashion, or was I just a mannequin that Aunt Alice wanted to play dress-up with? Then I thought more about Jake. He groomed me like a predator would groom his prey. Slowly and carefully he slipped in to every aspect of my life. No wonder I thought I loved him! He had practically raised me to be his bride! The disgust in my stomach was undeniable. I was a puppet. My family didn't really love me or care about _me._They had their own agenda, and I was just another piece of the puzzle.

"I hate that what you're saying is making sense," I sobbed as I threw my head in to my hands. "It seems like you're the only person in my life who has never told me what to do or who to be. You've always encouraged me just to be who I am. Thank you," I whispered to him as I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder.

He tilted his head to rest on top mine. A gesture that felt so reassuring. "Your whole life seems to be about sacrifice, Renesmee. Only drink animals or eat human food. Don't give into your carnal vampire nature. Oh, and on top of it, now they're telling you who you should mate with. Renesmee, are you seeing a pattern here? They are completely manipulating and controlling your life! When was the last time you actually made a decision for yourself? Can you even remember?"

"I…I don't know." The thought hit me like a ton of bricks. Had my parents never let me make a single decision on my own? Did they not trust me? All of a sudden, I felt completely pigeon holed. I had been told what to eat, what to wear, what to do, when to do it, and on top of it all, who to marry. They said I had a choice about Jacob, but had I ever really had a choice? It was supposedly a done deal from the day I was born. If that wasn't an archaic arranged marriage, I didn't know what was.

"Renesmee, you deserve more than this. Please tell me you see that." His voice was calm and steady.

"Nahuel? For the first time, I actually think I do. I even had myself convinced today that I loved Jacob. How could I even begin to know what love is? I've never kissed another boy. I've never been out on a date with anyone else."

"They planned it that way, Renesmee." His tenor voice was so clear and convincing.

"I don't know what to do about it now, though," I said with a sigh.

"You need a break. Let's just run. You can come back in a few days with a clear head and a plan for how to live your life on _your_ terms."

"Let's go." As soon as the words escaped my lips, he grabbed my hand and we began to run. I couldn't even pay attention to the direction we took for the tears blinding my vision.

Esme POV

My little granddaughter finally seemed to be getting things sorted out. While going over the blueprints for the addition to Alice and Jasper's house, Alice revealed that Nessie would tell Jacob that she loved him later that evening. My joy at the news couldn't have been any greater. Our girl had come such a long way. Jake was a fine choice for her. Any woman would be lucky to have him. That knowledge can't keep a grandmother from worrying though. Our girl was only the human equivalent of a sixteen year old. Throughout my years, I'd spent a lot of time with teenage girls. Flighty, gullible, and naïve were the three words that could almost always be associated with that female age group. Though on the surface Nessie didn't seem like any of those words, I knew better than to assume that she didn't have any of those traits in her young and hormone filled self. These concerns reared their ugly heads intermittently throughout my days.

Nahuel concerned me more than Carlisle felt was deserved or necessary. The handsome dark-skinned hybrid did not keep a vegetarian diet, and from what I'd heard, had a reputation for being a ladies man. I worried that their constant communication could have an adverse effect on my young and impressionable granddaughter. I had mentioned monitoring her computer time with Nahuel to Edward a while back—a recommendation that was not received well. The fact that Nahuel had shown up at such an opportune time added weight to my fears.

What could his intentions possibly be? Was there any way that they could actually be pure? I had decidedly concluded that there were no facts that pointed to Nahuel's seemingly good intentions. He was on my radar, and I was going to let him know it.

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A/N

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